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  Sep 2018 Brandon Conway
Jen
Untamed and Unfolding
Invisibly,
Hidden with false smiles.

Unrevealed,
So much concealed,
And that isn’t how it should
Be.

WARNING SIGN.
SAVE YOURSELF.
RUN.

No one on the outside
Ever knew what
Was hidden beneath.

ALL IS SUNNY
ON THE EXTERIOR
OF A WHITE WOODEN FENCE.

Rain poured continuously,
BEHIND THE CAGE.

Is this the life you want?

ASK YOURSELF.
I DID.

Instability lingering like a wet sleeve,
No rain coat could ever repel…so you just grieve.

Sitting in the dark,
Feeling, breathing…
To be real.
Are we ever?

SCORNED FOR FEELING.
EXCUSE ME FOR LIVING,
BREATHING.

NO LONGER,
Felt like a human being.

Cracked eggshells line
A spotless floor.

Just me in the stillness,
Always.

When do you really find
What so many others
Seem to hold near?

This is the only place
To truly just let go
And be…
Releasing in poetry.

Love it when
The rain pours
In the middle of the night,
Used to walk on wet concrete
In the dark of night,
Looking up at stars
On an all-to-clear night.

You were there,
But I always felt alone.

Watched the house lights of
The place we shared…
In the distance
As you continued your passions
For hours,
Didn’t look up once-
Notice that I walked
Out the front door
Right next to you.
Did you forget that
Something was missing?

Just me.

A PERSON.
MADE INTO A THING.
As you played the
Good guy,
With lies told to friends and family
As I sat silently
Trying not let it affect me.

The funny thing is,
It didn’t shake me
When it ended.

I FELT AND FEEL
NOTHING.
NO SADNESS.

FREE.
SIX sleepless months
Where I feared
You would find me.

Now, I try to tell myself
That not every man
Is like you…
That is the only
Sadness I feel.
This poem is basically a reflection of a toxic relationship I was in for 8 years.  Real feelings released...
Brandon Conway Sep 2018

Got jumped going down the alley
by a couple of bottles and a card game
Got my portrait painted finally,
hands hidden by the fancy frame

"Immortalized Sobriety"
that's what I'll call it,
immortalized sobriety
and not alcoholic

I'll tell my friends
I'll never drink again
We both know that's
not ******* happenin'

I'll tell my friends
I'll never lie again
We both know that's
maybe gonna happenin'

Am I losing my mind?
No, no just one more drink
am I perfectly fine?
No, no just let me think

My mind is soaked
in fermented brine
this page is soaked
with blotchy
                         i
                            n
                              ­k
                                  -


-ling of a remembrance
woke up in the backseat
of a taxi cab repentance
aftertaste so bittersweet
declare me in-dependance

I'll tell my friends
I'll never drink again
We both know that's
not ******* happenin'

I'll tell my friends
I'll never lie again
We both know that's
already happened

Am I losing my **** mind?
No, no just one more **** drink
am I just ******' blind?
No, no just let me ******' think

I think I might need,
I think I might need,
I think I might need
you.
  Sep 2018 Brandon Conway
Blade Maiden

At the fjord
a body floats on a board
how it got there
no one knows

At seaside
you pushed against the tide
I didn't send you off
but you came back

I begged for you
at least stay true
keep away
your harmful attitude

There you are
washed ashore from afar
How did you get here
and why did you come?

It took me so many beaches
and seas just to reach this
a part of my own
somewhere to calm

You will never know
with what I fought and how
I can't make you more
than a in-the-back-of-my-head thought

I kneel down next to you
I don't know if you sacrificed and what you've been through
I'm feeling reluctant to cut you off
but it's too late for other choices

I smile, I'm sorry
I won't forget, don't worry
I take a rock
and end it then and there
‘Twas many moons ago in fled days of yore,
In a distant realm of a golden shore,
When there dwelt a maiden of golden hair,
The last fairest by the name of Lenore.

The sweetness of her mellifluous voice,
Like only Angels of high heaven can make;
The beaminess of her impeccable face,
Reflections of a dawn sun-kissed lake.

Once by a golden noontide, so they say,
Perfectly salubrious was the day,
Fairly enriched by heaven's fairest ray
That Lenore chose to potter by the bay.

She marveled at so wide a limpid sea,
That was a vast luminous blue millpond,
Whispering mellifluous lullabies
Like of Angels upon heaven's compound.

“O sea, thou art lovely like a sweet dream,”
Quoth Lenore, “In thy waters I must swim.”
Hence as quick as a plummeting sunbeam,
In waters jumped the little seraphim.

Frosted in sheer elation she galloped
Upon the crest of so gentle a wave,
But every sea creature lifted its head,
Whilst doleful as marigold by a grave,

And in faint whispers didst bid her adieu,
"Farewell Lenore," till she was out of view,
Away where mortals of yore never knew,
Away where none canst ever have a clue.

In a while, the sun had shone her last ray
And solitary stars were beaming bright
Upon heaven's timelessly stonking bay,
But she still alone In the dead of night.

By luck, on yonder was a galleon
Of a sundeck decked with bright neon,
Her glossy sails as if from diamond hewn,
With words golden blazoned upon her stern:

Come thou little maiden, come thou aboard,
But little did innocent Lenore know,
At the back words in clear ruby-red read:
“To the kingdom of eternal sorrow.”

Not so long faded the night, dawn was nigh,
Heaven's molten gold began oozing by,
Whilst silvery clouds waltzed athwart the sky,
That Lenore's eyes slavered with ecstasy.

But then, there came a dog in the manger,
A hateful wave assailed the galleon
And heavens raged with roaring thunder
That echoed louder than the hungriest lion.

Tossing her where the sea kisses the skies,
Hence now but a speck on the horizons,
And there she galloped by and by downwards
Till wrecked upon shadowy blue islands

That bore words by the shores: “Little maiden,
Welcome thou to the kingdom of Nineva,
Where mortals shalt see thee never again,
For here you'll dwell forever and ever.”

This sent poor Lenore reeling far in mind
That with cinder-like eyes stumbled behind
But her galleon she could hardly find
For it had long vanished into the wind.

But hark! Yonder woods sprang a companion,
A lad whose names were Edgar Alan Poe;
Bestrode upon a snowy fair stallion
Who unto her whispered softly and low:

“If the moon be fair, then thy skin fairer,
If the stars be bright, then thine eyes brighter,
If snow be white, then thy lip’s gems whiter,
If the sun be hot, then thy hair hotter,

Then tell me, what bringeth thou to Nineva,
A realm of eternal sorrow and fear,
Where no mortal hath escaped ever,
But ever doomed in dungeons of despair?”

Despite her visage was lugubrious,
Her worries were all now but fugacious,
That yonder fair floral woods susurrous
Galloped whilst trees sang in tunes mellifluous.

For Edgar’s words of kindness had soothed her
Now doth she beam with ethereal luster
Like of night lanterns upon heavens shore
Scintillating in a wondrous cluster.

Alas! strange and covetous myriad eyes
By yon brier coveted the beauty queen
That as passes a fiend in the night skies
Did spy upon her with eyes all unseen

'Tis then when Edgar was away hunting
Whilst the beauty queen was all alone singing
When those dreamy figures came whispering
Amongst each other whilst wildly smiling.

Bestrode upon many a snowy fair horse,
Their strange faces, as pale as death her self.
Their voices, as if thousand snakes didst hiss,
Betwixt them, there lordly sprang an elf

Who unto her said, "how sweet thou dost sing,
Thy melodious voice would so please our king,
Unto thee, rubies and pearls shalt he bring,
Of banished gold shalt be thy nuptial ring."

"Nay", softly replied the little maiden,
To thy king I canst not walk down the isle,
For in violent love I'm with a swain,
Thy king's treasures outweigh not his smile.

"Wretch", why dost thou abhor our proposal?
For soon thou art to regret having done so,
So cried the elf, "opting for a mortal
Than a mighty king who is immortal"?

"Hark! Fair moon, see that morrow by noontide
Thou art by the edge of yon verdant moor,
For then thou shalt come with us yonder side
Neath the sea, and dwell with us evermore."

At this, a wild wind danced by many a leaf
And so vanished the strange troop of the elf
That she busted with a sigh of relief
Though deep within, her soul kindled with grief.

Not long, news sprinkled into the swain's ear
Who gathered a troop of a thousand men
Each bearing a bow, a hummer and spear,
All ready to guard the beauty queen.

When came morrow, they took little Lenore
And laid her beneath a lone sycamore
That stood by the edge of a lonely moor,
And then all matched towards the shingly shore.

No army led by any hostile king
Towards them could ever come any near.
There job was great that they did chant and sing
Songs of triumph of the fled days of yore.

Alas! To match towards the sycamore,
There pale and cold laid innocent Lenore
With not any single bone of poor her
Broken, but her breath taken evermore.

Mute, forlon, and motionless stood the swain
With bitter tears galloping from his eye,
With his soul 'neath a sepulchre of pain
That from yon day on, the realm he did curse.

For in Nineva, a realm dim and deep,
There not a mean ray of light canst now creep,
And there all creatures night and day dost weep
Till sweet Lenore wakes from eternal sleep.


©Kikodinho Edward Alexandros, Kampala, Uganda. 16th.July.2018.

#tale #adventure #fantasy #Lenore #EdgarAlanPoe #Nineva
"Nineva" is a magical kingdom in "Kikos's Legendarium"...a miscellany of tales of mystery and maccabre like you've never heard of. Tales such as: The Enchanted Gold, The Dwarf Of Nineva, Woods Have Eyes, Jazabel The Witch, The Novelty Tea ***, The Witch's Cauldron, The Lonely Hut, The Nectar Stream, among so many others.
And this tale is as well one of a grand scene in an adventurous movie script im penning.

#Each line in decasyllables
#Lenore is a name of a maiden I borrowed from Edgar Alan Poe's tales of mystery.
Gone be yon melted summer's day
Whilst shrouded in robes of sorrow
That never quill of a bard can portray
Nor years unborn may ever know
When a fair maiden pottered my way,
Gently as drops of descending snow.

Her eyes fairer than burnished gold
Illuminated the vast shadowy night,
Ebony hair upon her seraphic body rolled
With a diadem of reddest roses bedight
That swifter than a gallant knight so bold,
I plunged to Elysium at such a sight.

For she bore beauty of a silvery moon
In lone splendor upon heavens bay,
The pulchritude of sun beams by noon
Against the sea on a fine blazing day.
Now that love casted her novelty boon,
Timidly I gravitated towards her way

And in fables faintly whispered unto her:
"Little maiden, little maiden, little maiden,
O queen fairer than chalcedonic luster;
Are flowers of yonder golden Aidenn
More fair and redolent than thou are?"
This did gladden - I strayed in a garden;

Her garden of ethereal pulchritude
Where no mortal ever walked through
And now doth hearts gambol with glee
'Neath elm leaves bedight with stars above
That the beauty queen calls it balm of Gilead
To visit her garden - a garden of love.


©Kikodinho Edward Alexandros,
Los Angels, California, USA
             12th/09/2018
Balm Of Gilead:

Balm of Gilead was a rare perfume used medicinally, that was mentioned in the Bible, and named for the region of Gilead, where it was produced. The expression stems from William Tyndale's language in the King James Bible of 1611, and has come to signify a universal cure in figurative speech. The tree or shrub producing the balm is commonly identified as Commiphora gileadensis. Some botanical scholars have concluded that the actual source was a terebinth tree in the genus Pistacia.

Besides, I'll soon employ the tittle of this poem to my book - A miscellany of love-poetry.
  Sep 2018 Brandon Conway
Blade Maiden

I know of
this exact thing I do
pushing people away from me
when I can't hide my insecurity
I say "am I wrong, I'm scared"
just to make them run away from me

I met so many
so careless
I'm sorry
So sorry
I have to be honest

My view is always a blur
constantly making me believe
in wrong ideas
my mind loves to perceive

And seeing how
sometimes they come true
against better judgement
I followed through
It makes me look like a fool
So what is there for me to do
than to think the same of you

"Get over it, we all hurt"
"Try to forget, don't be absurd"
"Maybe stop being so emotional"
"You could be more sociable"
If I could say how desperately I would
if there was a way to show I could
I thought being unapologetic
would be better than feeling pathetic
But it seems like either way
I'm the one that drifts away
Into this ocean of sickness
making me feel worthless

Though these thoughts
I hate the most
I fight feeling useless
I want to know my worth

Oh how I struggle to make them see
I'm not the words that come out of me
I don't want to feel anxious
I don't like to be sad
And I feel so pretentious
it might drive me mad

And how this thought
of losing my mind
sometimes seems
way too kind
Like such a relief
of a brain always screaming
almost a sort of dignity I could retrieve
thinking madness could be redeeming
Calming but terrifying all the same
For the bliss
would I really not care
to forget my own name?
Brandon Conway Sep 2018
There is a light that likes to turn on
when I lay my head down for the night,
toss and turn with my dreams now forgone
no matter the yawn, this bulb is bright

not with so much as ideas but, words
and small phrases that I rearrange
that will fly away and cause me nerve
so I spread their wings, pin and arrange

their beauty captured and put in frame
so finally I can hit that switch
and try to win at this sleeping game
I will wake up in a few, poem rich

and so repeats the boundless cycle
capturing metaphor butterflies
in this restlessness bed of idyll
sleep late, wake early, a compromise
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