Lexi - Hello Poetry

Nov 2017

Krista DelleFemine

Cleavage stands in for a pretty face
A nice *** hides a terrible heart
We're so odd, this human race
Our bodies are fraudulent art

Lexi Nov 2017

Safe

People
ask me why
I do not smile.
"I have a safe, full of emotions. That is where my smile is."
I tell them, and it confuses them. You can not have a safe full of emotions because emotions can not be held.
If they could be held I would have destroyed
every. Single. One.
Except:
Happiness and Love, Joy and Curiosity.
There would be no room
For heartache and sadness, anger and hopelessness.
Everyone would be happy.
That's right.
E v e r y o n e

#love #happiness #safe #curiosity #people

Nov 2017

Chloe

Rise and Fall Back Down.

I wake up just in time to watch the sun set on the horizon.
I stay up all night to watch it rise again.
3:00am is when I demons start to roam,
And before I know it my sadness becomes my home.
I self medicate with drugs and alcohol that I know I don't need.
I do it to stop the craving of wanting to watch myself bleed.
I look at the scars that cover my skin.
They mock me, I'm trying so hard not to give in.
I sleep all day so I don't have to fake a smile.
I wish happiness was a mood that stayed for a while.

I wake up just in time to watch the sun set on the horizon.
I stay up all night to watch it rise again.

A poem about my struggle with mental illness, addiction, and self harm.

#depression #addiction #mutilation #sadness

Nov 2017

LISH

Im Sorry Mama

I wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
for those heart broken nights I kept a secret
I wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
For when we had to stretch a dollar and I acted like I was full, but I really wasn't
I wanted to say I'm sorry to you mama
That during those times that you locked yourself in your room and the cried acting like I didn't know, I already did
I'm wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
For not being the girl that you wish I was to be
I wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
Because my heart has been broken so many times and I won't dare tell you
I wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
Because the biggest secret I have kept is one that is hardest to speak
I wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
for those nights that I locked myself in the room and cried silently so you wouldn't know
I wanted to say I'm sorry to your Mama
Because you do not know the reason why those tears rolled down my face
I wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
Because you will not know that shadow of my past haunts me at night
I wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
That my ankles are chained to a wall of self-doubt and regret
I wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
Because you don't know a man's words is what made me like that
I wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
Because I have no idea how to say all of that

Sometimes what I wish I can say

#mom #sorry #hidden #feelings #mama #wanted

Nov 2017

Iska

My loving mother

My dearest mother

do you see it?
that's the space put between us,
filled with unspoken words and heartache.

can you hear it?
that's the defining silence,
filled with quiet disappointment and shattered dreams,
because I'm not the girl you hoped I'd be...

#mom #sad #dissapointed #depression #daughter

Lexi Nov 2017

Don't, Can't and Won't

I don't want anyone ever to hold me the way you do
     You make me feel okay, whole, through and through
           I don't want anyone to know my ****** expressions and voice like you
               I don't want anyone to know my family the way you do
                       I don't want anyone to understands my thoughts and reasons
                              I don't want anyone to understands my weird meanings
                                       I don't want anyone to ever know why I do what I do

I don't want anyone to know because that's something between me and you.
       I don't want anyone to make me laugh and be so mad at the same time.
               I don't want anyone else. No one knows who how much I want you to be mine
                      I don't know why part of me keeps ******-well lying!
                                I don't know why I can't give up! Is it because I'm trying to keep the thoughts of us together intact? A beautiful fantasy?! Doesn't matter! I still end up I finding myself trying!

I don't want to trust anyone the way I trust you.
         I don't want to love another the way I love you!

Maybe it's not that I don't. Maybe it's more along the lines of "I can't" because I can't see myself being with someone else it makes me sick.

#sick #mine #gone #boyfriend #ka #alone #love #hurt #pain #trying

Lexi Nov 2017

10 word poem? Maybe?

Poetry is my self harm, you guys are the endorphins.

Does this count as a 10 word poem??

#selfharm #poetry #endorphin #drug #body