I remember the names of flowers we uncovered during each perennial continuation of days, months and years. I can recall how quickly the seasons changed — every halcyon sense of realism diminishing into abstraction as we fell out of touch.

I’m sitting on the walkway, smoking a cigarette, watching the stars; thinking of you. I’m reminiscent of when we laid out here doing the same exact thing, except a prolonged addition of past drunken ramblings that resonate with me now. I miss your voice, and the way your laugh sounded beside me. I miss knowing I could turn to you in the same room. I guess I just miss you tonight. I’ll keep this with myself, but I want myself to remember that I missed you yesterday, I miss you now, and I’ll miss you tomorrow.

m a y b e
may be
may (i) be
i (may) be
may i (be) May
(May): spr(i)ng and flowers and bees
(be)es
be (sweet)
be (here)

may i just be
may there always be room for me
between may and be.

Advertise my soul,
capitalise from my sins.
Dig the earth for coal,
a market built for kings.
Suppress for your control,
fill your life with things.
Abolition of self-control,
a life attached to strings.

Worthless
the way I feel
Worthless
the way others made me feel
Worthless
the way I try to improve
Worthless
the way others ruined my progress
Worthless
the way to continue fighting
Worthless
the way others told me to give up

Worthless
to keep living this way
Worthless
to keep bringing me down
Worthless
to keep listening to what they say
Worthless
to keep changing for others
Worthless
is NOT who I am

Sometimes I wonder

do you think of me
when you hear the song
the song that played when we first kissed
the song that we danced to

do you think of me
when you smell my perfume
the perfume that I left at your home
the perfume that I wore when we first met

do you think of me
when you hear my name
the name my mother gave me
the name you whispered in my ear

because I do
I skip our song because it takes me back
I have flashbacks when I smell your perfume
I avoid saying your name because it tears me apart

but I don´t think about you anymore
I just remember
because I learned
learned it is the past