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  Oct 2018 Erica
Alexis Elizondo
Her eyes no longer hold that twinkle that was there in her younger years.
Her smile doesn't reach her eyes.
Her laugh doesn't transform her entire being.
In a crowded room she feels so, so
alone.
She's tried faith, hope, and love, but it just made her feel worthless.
The age old question continues to come up,
"Are you okay?"
She wants to tell them no.
She wants to tell them how its so much harder to breathe,
how she's drowning and there's no one there to save her.
Instead,
She laughs, smiles, and lets them know everything is fine.


She lied.
Erica Sep 2018
you know i still love you
but i will always hate you too
for so many reasons
leaving me alone at 6 on friday nights till 10am the next day
i never ate enough
you never noticed
i never did my homework and lied saying i did
you hardly checked
i hurt myself
you never noticed
but you're my dad, i can't just only hate you
but i feel the need to
cause the pain you put me in
i will never forget
the phone calls that i have to initiate with a text
i'm sorry i'm a bad child
i'm so sorry i'm ****** up
and i'm sorry you don't know how to parent
i'm sorry i love my mom more than i'll ever love you
but i love you dad
you know i do
you just don't know how much i hate you
thanks for kinda raising me
you yelled
i cried
you drank
i cut
you smoked
i smoked
you slept
i drank
you went out
i stayed up till you got home
i'm sorry but i feel the need to say goodbye
to the father i wished you were
so i fan finally accept the real father you are
Erica Sep 2018
'my father said to me, "you want this perfect person you've never met before
to come out of nowhere, fit your life completely, complete you
and make you whole for the first time in your life, much like your mother did for me."
i was seven
and even tho what he said sounds sweet and whatever
what it manifested in my seven year old brain was this,
"if you are not with someone: you are broken.
if you are not with someone: you are incomplete.
if you are not with someone: you are not whole."
and that's not just something my dad made me feel that's something we as society has made every child born in the last 40 years feel.
every disney princess has a prince
every prince has a princess
every television show or movie always has that one character in it that doesn't wanna be in a relationship.
they're happy with who they are.
but by the end of the series, guess what, they we're wrong'
that hit me hard, and this guy is a comedian
Erica Sep 2018
at first it was a normal morning in september
people on their normal commute to work
but that morning changed, and ruined lives forever
"the twin towers have fallen"
thousands of lives, not just lost on that day, but ruined
lost love ones, friends, children
but the after effects that it had on people
the ones who ended their lives because they lost loved ones
the ones who cry every night remembering them
they are victims too
i wasn't alive yet
but i want to tell everyone who lost someone that day
or the days after that
or just who lost someone in general,
i know losing someone hurts
you will be okay
you're strong
and you're amazing
be strong my lovelies
life will get better
i love you all
Erica Aug 2018
hey guys so my birthday is coming up and im super exited im finally turning 14 on september 28th exiteeee
im weird sorry
but like
im exited ya know
so yeah september 28th my dudes
imma be a lil bit olderrrr
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