your love hurts
but i cant help but need it
i cant help but need you
why do you love me
why do you do these things to me
you tell me you love me
and i say it back
but do you really?
we haven't talked in months
you talked **** to someone who tells me everything
'it was just because of my meds but im in love with her'
you say to the girl who sleeps over my house for days and nights on end
the girl who loves me too
the girl who learned to hate you because you love me instead
why do i cause problems.
i fell in love with you day by day
it slowly eats away at me not being able to see you
why is it this way
why am i in love with you
i hate this feeling but...i love you

For me, depression is walking across the street without looking both ways.
It's sitting in a car wishing an accident would come, wishing you would be the only casualty.
It's cooking everything despite not wanting to, eating everything in sight just because there's a slim chance of dying from poison.
It's staying out in the rain and never moving, staring in the distance. Waiting for a branch to knock me unconscious.
It's staying up till dawn knowing you have to be up early the next day.
It's zoning out at random intervals because you have no energy anymore.
It's staying in your room unless necessary.
It's staying in bed until life comes knocking at the door.
It's losing inspiration on things you previously liked.
To me, these are the meaning of depression.

please...don't go
i can't lose you again
please don't be drifting away
i knew once we kissed again that you're the one i want
please
don't say goodbye
i know you're not allowed to talk to me
but you still do
i'm sorry
but you say you love me
so please my love
show me
prove it to me
cause for ****'s sake i love you too
and thank you for caring about me
i need you by my side

her long hugs as she whispers into my ear
'i love you'
my heart warms up and i smile
'i love you too,' i tell her
my stomach fills with butterflies like always when i'm around her
her touch is soft and it brings back memories
her laugh plays over and over in my head like a scratched record, but it's beautifully hurt and i could listen to it for ages
when i hear her voice in the halls i get nervous
i meet up with her every day
but only for a short while
'meet me 1:30 every day except the 30th in the bathroom by the cafe if you really care'
i remember her words
and i keep my promise
cause she means everything to me
she kissed me the second and the third time we met
and she might today
it all is so much but makes me so happy
.
.
'i have a list of people who wanna date me' she says 'you're one of them'
'so do i' i mumble
'but you're the one on my list that i want'
i blush and say 'you're the one i want too'
she smiles and hugs me and i run  
.
.
and so here i am again, getting ready for the hurt

I still support you
Through your ****** fluidity
Through your gender fluidity
Through your wavering confidence
Through the harsh, silencing glances
Through the whispers and rumors

I still love you
And I won’t ever stop
Not to appease our doubtful peers
Or unsupportive family

Please don’t forget me
Please don’t forget the tender embraces we’ve shared
Or the forbidden kisses we hastily exchanged
Under the cover of night

I love you
Don’t forget to love yourself

Spongebob Squarepants

     .--..--..--..--..--..--.
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           (.--) (.--)



Squidward

          .--'''''''''--.
       .'      .---.      '.
      /    .-----------.  \
     /        .-----.        \
     |       .-.   .-.          |
     |      /   \ /   \      |
      \    | .-. | .-. |    /
       '-.| | | | | | |.-'
           | '-' | '-' |
            _/ _/
         .-'  /   \  '-.
       .' .--|     |--. '.
       ' ...-|     |-... '
              |     |
              '..'
                | |
               _| |
              /( )/\
             /  ' '  \
            | |     | |
            '-'     '-'
            | |     | |
            | |     | |
            | |-----| |
         .'/  |     | |/'.
         |    |     |    |
         '..'| .-. |'..'
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  LGB   '. | | | .'
         .    /  |  \    .
        /o'.-'  / \  '-.'o\
       /o  o\ .'   '. /o  o\
       '..'       '..'

two:
3 am
cramps, oh horrible cramps
i have midol, i'll just take a few
then a few becomes a bunch
i take around 8-10
i realize what i've done
again
i wonder how this will feel this time
my stomach hurts more
i have horrible pain till 5 am
then i finally fall asleep
and i wake up
im fine
~the beginning of 7th grade~