i looked at you
in every light,
in every angle,
in every mistake,
in every perfection.
i had to convince myself that we aren't for each other.

Can you see the girl in me whom you loved
Can you hear the child in me whom you cared
Can you feel the mother in me whom you relied
Can you see the bombshell in me whom you needed
Can you see the old lady in me whom you comforted
Can you see the advisary in me whom you believed
Can you see the wife in me whom you trusted
Can you see the friend in me whom you liked
Can you see the fading me in me whom you hated
Can you see the failing soul in me whom you tortured
Can you see the falling angel in me whom you defeated
Can you just see the me in me ?
Can you ?

im not submerged into anything
im drowning in my own breath
drowning in stress
anxiety
sadness
yet nothing at all
im numb
but im suffocating in this world
nothing is blocking my air passages, nothing is around my neck
but i feel a tightness in my throat
i shake
yet im silent
i get irritable
annoyed
and i shut down
sometimes i'll cry
others i just sit there staring at nothing
and i just... sit

i've got a heart that's been ****** up
but that doesn't stop me from loving
it doesn't stop me from falling in love
it doesn't stop me from being me
because what i've learned with my shattered heart
it that...with my heart
i am myself
and that's okay that i've been broken
if someone doesn't love me for that
oh well

I...
  just...
         don't...
                  care...

Please...
           just...
                 come...
                          back...