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mt Apr 2012
Failure is fundamental
In welcoming success
There is no joy in winning when
Each time you win
The pleasure’s less

Flirting, failure left me wanting
Wanting more of idleness
And acceptance of my nothingness

I looked around and saw the world
And told myself the world was right
And told myself that happiness
Was knowing to give up the fight

And now I’ve lost, I couldn’t say
The thought of failure keeps me warm
I want to spin and hit the world
A hurricane amid the storm

I don’t want to sleep forever
Amid the pain,
and pleasure,
of past endeavour
To take my life and keep me sane
I write my life, to live again

*

I know that I will lose the fight
Death decay and loneliness
Are self imposed notions
Points of view without foundations
Uniting all, but stealing light

Everything is lost,
And everyone dies
By the hand of Eternity
That holds your soul
And shuts your eyes

But what now, of the miracle I am?
That survives the odds against eternity
Uniting the very essence of infinity
To feel, and stand
As from the Earth, comes Man

The purpose I will never find
But life, I know, has set me free
And to the meaning I am blind
But I should take what I can see

I will lose
Of that I’m sure
But on the way I know I’ll fight
To feel the pain the love and joy
To see the beauty
Bathed in light

And as I lose,
I know I’ll win
Because that it is to fight the cold
Is that it is, to let you in
2007 - last year of my A levels
mt Apr 2012
Gaia is a part of me,
Her lakes, her leaves and every tree,
Everything that I can see,
Is caught up in my destiny.

And in return I'll grant her that,
Along with every bird and bat,
My destiny is firmly sat,
In her eternal beauty trap.
mt Apr 2012
Let your mind go
And trust yourself to realise.
Let the thought’s be free, and flow
When importance comes,
Just know, that you will know

Do not worry,
Do not analyse
Do not think about thoughts,

Be gentle with feelings as you caress them,
They are beautiful
But wild
And to cage a feeling
Is to lose a child

Let your mind go,
Let your thoughts be free, and flow
And let your feelings come,
Fresh shoots through melted snow.
Let your whole mind entwine, and grow

Do not **** this river flowing
Do not confine
The thoughts from growing

Feelings unite
Within your mind

Revel in their delicate play
as they slide by one
another

Think of your lover
But let her play and dance
and disappear
The thoughts will cloud,
But some days will clear,
And the ones you need, they're here

Feelings and thought
Will remain if they will
If they won’t
Then let them slide wonderfully into oblivion
Dive in.

You may find yourself one day
And if you don’t
Don't note what gets away

Do not write so incessantly,
Of your thoughts and your feelings,
Your fear that they will disappear,
Drives them shy

Fearful of capture,
They lay and hide,
And the River flows no more
****** and stagnant
in desert sands.

Let your mind go
And trust yourself to realise
Let the thought’s be free, and flow
When importance comes
You'll know
2007 - Last year of UK high school. I think what I was getting at was the sense that I felt in myself that I needed to achieve something big. I recorded everything for posterity. I kept text messages from girls I liked.  I wrote down every idea I had in case it was my one fleeting chance at glory, the only time I'd stumble across reality.
mt Aug 2011
I have heard a perfect moment
   recorded
   in
   beautiful discord.
I have seen lifetimes
   astutely
   distilled
   in a single sentence.

I have heard a summer's day
  in a soul filled chord.
I have described heartbreak as
  a sculptural variation on a fence.

All these moments frozen,
waiting to be owned
by a collector of crystallized humanity.

But to take the beauty of one crystal,
held against the sun,
is to stumble aimlessly to insanity,
as the stitched links in your necklace
come undone.

Chords, discords and lyrical life sentences,
a collection of crystals held up to the sun.
Thoughts, deep thoughts, that meditate before it's late,
A collection of crystals will see you undone.

Without rhythm we can see a perfect moment frozen,
But without rhythm we can't see it chosen.
You'll never find perfection waiting for an explosion.

Timeless perfection comes from perfection of timing,
Two bodies beating 'til the beats are combining,
continue to beat 'til the blood pressure's rising,

And as the beats resonate to a perfect explosion,
All of a sudden it isn't surprising.
mt Aug 2011
Popular culture is often lambasted,
But I think it’s philosophically underrated.
I don’t care, I want to watch top gear.
I want to complain about my job with my friends,
Then forget it all and fall asleep,
And then go out the next day and do my job,
And then buy a nice car,
And then go to the gym,
Because that is the done thing.
And it feels alright.
mt Aug 2011
If your ambition is to serve the world,
and unleash your creativity,
anything that presents itself as an ultimatum,
is just the cloud of our collective doubts,
waiting for a single shot of inspiration,
to slide into blue rain.
mt Aug 2011
I've got this smile I do
Where the corners of my mouth twitch up as far as they'll go
And I hold my lips just so
so that top row of my teeth are on show
But not the top gums, never those
And then of course
A little pull on those cheeks to get the dimples

And I brush furiously each day,
but I never look inside,
I never look past the 6 white teeth I show
to see the teeth beside.  

I used to have a feeling,
That laterally, they yellowed,
A furtive fearful glance,
saw shapes in the shadow,
but scared of what the light might show,
I never used to know.

Fear of what I might see,
Genetic imperfections, naturally.
So I brushed and brushed,
And then
I bit the apple,
And the chunks stuck in my teeth
And the chunks sunk down the crevices
and festered underneath.

And then I said so what: I flossed,
I took the chance to let the light dance,
And ignorance is all I lost.

I know everything.
And I wouldn't say they're yellow, more cream.
But as the floss delves down into the unknown crevices between my teeth,
It brought out some awful gunk that really stunk,
And I bled too, you know,
But I'm told those things are natural
The first few times.

And of course when it bleeds,
It's because of gum disease...
But it leaves if you can just see
what's ***** then clean.

So I made a policy decision,
not to shy away from imperfections,
as reminders of my human condition.
But instead to do the best I can
with what I've got, and all the love I can muster.

We used to do it for God,
But that's all gone in this age of science,
And meritocracy.
So I put my faith
in the healthy suspicion,
What feels right, is right.
That is, feeling is being,
Do you see what I'm seeing?

And what feels right is the best we can
The difference from man to man,
The one will live his life in fear
Of news he'll probably never hear.
The next will live his life light
Taking action, when he can,
So he might taste the world's delight.

And then of course I've got this smile
That I couldn't do a thing to hide,
As my mouth is open wide,
I've got no fear of what's inside.
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