Back then, I thought I was making the right decision
If only back then I had my present vision

If only I hadn't done that, my life would begin anew
Numerous more opportunities I would've gotten to

I don't want to think of it as a regret, but a way to ascend
But after that, for two years, my freedom came to an end

Even now I know his soul is kind
Or is it because I wanted time to rewind?

Now I'm back again, with a second chance
But I can only see the similarity in your glance

I don't want to make the same mistake as before
Or am I just supposed to have evil in my core?

I did say I wanted a true friend
But will this be the ultimate end?

I prayed that in the future, I'd learn to think twice
But this test is most certainly not nice

So please, don't let me fail this test
Because the continuation of this story, I know the rest.

I remember being alone, stuck in the mud
I remember my hands being stained with red blood
And even when the times got tough
My hard work was never enough
I'm not as perfect as you all see
My whole life I've just been trying to be free
My whole life I've waited to shine
But I'm still waiting for the right time
To you, I'm all a secret
But I'm a stranger, can you feel it?
I guess I'm so used to pain
That I'll take it over warm, summer rain
And when I have to deal with all listed above
There's a weight on my shoulders, that some call love
I've been waiting for something new
And right on my doorstep appears you
I'm running to a place way long gone
I don't even know what I am running from
But I do know I'd run 100 miles, back and to
Just so I could get one look at you
But even if I'm with you and your artists
That is not truly where my heart is
All my memories of the past are fake
I threw them in the thousand-feet deep lake
What was I even supposed to do?
I didn't know what I got myself into

I've lived my life in a stagnant position
And I've eternally remained in one place
I've run from all my problems
Never once looked Death in the face

How can I see the whole world
If I'm afraid of taking one step on earth?
Maybe if I throw away this feeling of safety
Then I'll finally feel some mirth

I've wanted so many more opportunities
But when faced with a problem I just twist and weave
I'll never be able to move on and live life
If at first I don't leave

Years of being ignored, seen as a no one
As I watch you and your friends always have fun

Why must you get all the spotlight?
Why must I still give more, even with all my might?

Constant yelling is all I’ve heard
Being seen with me in public is absurd

I’m always discarded, just an outcast
Now, all those times will be my last

She saw me as human, didn’t ignore me
Now, how long till you also see?

I want to share that spotlight with you
If only you allow me to

I also deserve the friends you’ve bonded with
I won’t make this just a myth

Does this mean I’m a bad person?
Does this mean my jealousy has worsened?

Now you and your band begin to sing
But I’ll no longer be watching from the wing

A bird sat on a ledge, calling for air,
“Please, give me merely a share!”

A breeze came and lifted the bird off the ground
The breeze ruffling the bird’s feathers was the only sound

Every day, the bird decided to sit and wait
The bird was drawn to the wind, perhaps even fate

The wind always listened when the world did not
The bird had found something it had always sought

Then one day, dark clouds came and rain poured down
And the wind lunged forwards, without even a frown

At last, the bird saw the wind’s true power
The bird wanted to hide, but the wind didn’t let it cower

The wind ruffled the bird’s feathers as it had done in the past
The bird took off, flying ever so fast

Then the storm passed; the rain was gone
The bird looked at the sun from the ledge it was on

“Wind, let me once again soar!”
But the wind replied no more.

No matter how many times I say our problems can mend
Fate will never let me call you a friend
I told you that loving him would only make you cry
But you didn't listen and kept wanting to try
You put salt in the wound when I bled for you
You gave nothing back when I cared for you
But when I think about you, why do I still care?
When will I find love that's finally fair?
All I wanted was for you to have a life of fun
But like Icarus, I must've flown too close to the sun
Then why did you say you love me?
If I am blind, when could you see so clearly?
I had to comfort you every single day
And in return you make me feel this way?
And I knew I was rereading the same chapter of a book
I was in a trance by that one quick look
I thought you could be the one true friend
But I know how it was going to end
I love you so much more than you think
Even though in the depths of your waters, I'll only sink
I love you, but I hate you so
Now even I don't know if I should go
You'd make my heart beat a little faster
But I don't know if it's love anymore
So if I tried to say "I love you,"
You wouldn't say "you love me more."

A bird flying so far away
Admiring every glimpse of day

From the fish in the sea to the trees that stand tall
The free, flying bird admired it all

Then a blast came from two hunters below
She fell to the ground, covered in snow

The humans took her far from her place
Where there was no glimpse of the tree’s grace

Trapped in a cage she sat all day
Wondering when she would again fly far, far away

But her wing was hurt, and couldn’t fly
So she yelled and sobbed and started to cry

But the humans ignored her and walked away,
Opened a door and she saw a glimpse of day

It was her past, where she longed most to go
She was much to weak to attempt to go, so

She sat still, admiring the glimpse of day
And peace, but could no longer fly far, far away

One day, while getting ready, I looked in the mirror
And I saw my legs blow up to twice their size
So I quickly left to change my ripped pants
Wiping away the tears in my eyes

And the next day I returned to this mirror
And my face had a dark shade of red
So I shut all of the windows in my house
And hid under the covers of my bed

And whenever I went out in public
I could swear everyone was looking at me
And I knew I wasn't human anymore
For a monster was all they could see

So I kept my head down
Throwing piles of unfitting clothes on the floor
I would probably grow monster-like tentacles for my arms
Or monster-like claws to scratch all the doors

Then I couldn't stand the sight of me
So I shut off all the lights and shut out the sound
But I could still see about one hundred reflections of myself
In the shattered mirror on the ground.

After a dark, gloomy period
The days whipped on by
It was sooner that I thought that
Someone new has caught my eye

He's like a fire, one to admire, so much better than me
I went up to the clouds because I swear he was sent down from above
I waded with the whales to get to his island of love

I swear he is funny and extremely smart
I fear the day that we might be apart

I'm scared to love him
And I'm scared to not
I can't even form a normal thought

There's no need for imagining
Because us two, we'll do everything

I waited for love to catch up to me
Turns out, it's already here

If I was someone else, you would've loved me
That's what you told me this morning
And it's my fault we couldn't be
And I fell for you without warning
You said you'd want me
That's all I crave for now
My bad I couldn't see
I was blinded by you somehow
So maybe if I was born before you
My heart wouldn't break
No one will love you as much as I do
How much more can I take?

growing and fall is all i do
stuck to the branch of this tree
i sway in the summer breeze
but by fall i have to leave

always arriving, always leaving
swaying in the summer breeze
i want to hold on for a bit longer,
but by fall i must leave

i yearn for an eternal summer
i yearn for winds like these
my whole life an act of letting go
because by fall i must leave

if i changed every part of me
one at a time
could i even love me as a whole?
if i replaced every part of me
one by one
would i even be the same?

i am the ship of theseus
never the same, never different
i do not know who or what i am anymore

so i try to fit in
i try to believe in some higher being
something to explain
why i feel this way

and if i replace every part of me
for you
for me
for some divine being
i’ll replace my mind as well

and maybe then i wont act this way
maybe then i wont think this way
maybe then i wont feel this way
and i wont remember who i used to be
because was i ever truly someone
if i replaced every part of me?

would i ever truly feel comfortable in my own skin
if it was no longer mine?

i am in love with the fruit just out of my reach
and though i could wait for it to fall
i know it would be rotten by then

i’ve had visions of our romance; in night, in sleep
holding the secret of our memories in my mind
but they’re all visions, not mine to keep

they’re all trying to tear us apart
he’s trying to convince you to leave
all because i said he couldn’t take my purity

and that wildcat started rumors about me
he made up things i said
so you would view me badly

but please, my starlight, don’t stop shining
though i know you’ll leave eventually
just not right now

he is pouring water on your dimming fire
he is your favorite tree, but
that branch is lifting you higher

People have said I used to be embarrassing
Little me way different from me now, Emery
She couldn’t dance, couldn’t sing
But that little girl is still inside of me

And you said that she wasn’t smart
For walking into the trap of a *******
And when you all ignored her and her broken heart
Only she was there to stay a while

So when you insult her, you insult me
Even though she was a little embarrassing
I’ll show her the whole brilliance of the world to see
Because I love her more than anything

i was born and on fire. my skin, open flesh wounds that bled onto anyone in a close vicinity. my face, a cloud of black dust. i knew that i had love in my heart to share with the world, but no one could see past the mold on my skin that would spread to them if they got too close. i was born into two things: a fruit that appeared ripe on the outside but leaked out a decayed, rotten mess, and the hands that opened said fruit with blood that held on. i watch the destruction i've made, that i didn't mean to make, but i believed that it was justified. i wait for someone to understand these words, not to pity me, but to find a part of themselves in me. i have found nobody. i fear that as of now, i am a walking, moldy model of decaying flesh and raw meat. i did not want to be this way. i did not want to be the black sheep. i did not want to be bad. i am a sculpture of wet clay that they could mold with their pure hands, and despite all that creativity in their alive and well minds, they have carved the word "rotten" in my flesh.

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he had this light in his eyes.
i never thought i would see “home” so vividly
until i looked into those eyes
those sweet brown eyes
filled with light.

i look into your eyes now
searching for the light he had
and i see nothing

i ask you thousands of questions
to understand you
like i understood him-
or so i thought i did-
but you say nothing

you make me smile
but not laugh like he did
volcanic eruptions of pure bliss
now valleys of yearning

i fear i’ve gone too far
and i can’t go back to him
what would he say anyways?
he still wouldn’t want me
though i was so sure he did

and you’re smiling at me
and you’re complimenting me
but i’m looking right past you
trying to see if i can see him
through the crowds and swarms of people

you look at me, and i smile back
but i’m staring into your deep brown eyes
searching for a light
that only he had

One week since you've gone
Day by day I yearn
I wait for your return
Am and night, I sit silently
Gonna be there a bit longer
Grow as a person eventually, but
Wings take time to create

she wore that dress for you tonight
she played that song for you
she had only you in her sight
she thought she had you

when the morning light woke her
she imagined it was you
when you gone and left her
she thought she had you

she wanted to put in the effort
she didn't know about you
kicked her in the mud, the dirt
while she thought she had you

and she finally believed for once
she believed in you
you must've not known that
she thought she had you

I was sinking to the bottom of the ocean
I hoped you hadn't pushed me
I looked at you with tears in my eyes
I hoped you didn't see

I was waiting for you
Waiting for you to return
I was waiting for you to call
I hope one day I'll learn

I saw you choose your friends over me
But did I cross the line?
And I saw blood on your hands
I just hoped it wasn't mine