Lots of people are lonely, but you have the false assumption that being around another person will fix your loneliness. Do you not remember the nights intertwined with someone wishing you could be anywhere else? You just desire what you don't currently have, and it's normal human nature, but your issue seems to be of a greater spiritual emptiness that no one person alone can fill, nor will ever fill. Perpetual longing is the default state of man and you suffer because of this desire,

when


you are struggling to

stay awake-


play the violin on the
4th fret
with a crooked
spoon.

no tears
were made

to be wasted

Mushrooms
My lady is staring at me with love
Bono is being weird
I wrote a little poem
This is fun
I probably have brain stuff
Profoundly profound. . Jnndmrkrke jdj

Losing my grasp
Agonizing over nothing,
Clinging to a crumbling piece of debris,
I am but a single period within your time.
I am a lonely cloud on a hot day.
I run amok when everyone is smiling.
I am a broken hand and a broken tooth
What I am is the same as yesterday.
Goodbye

Lost in so many ways. Losing my girlfriend, lost all my friends, losing my hair and my mind. I can only speak through a phone, and in there I find soulless circuitry. My name means nothing to me now, I was orphaned sometime ago. I want to crawl in the woods and dig my pit. It never goes away, I just make friends with the same strangers and acquaintences, weary of the breeze and the trembling leaves

everyday feels like a breakdown

blue

indigo

Black
In the pan

Covers and heated beds. Making up stories for morons
liars awake them

she's finally gone,
and I'm happy for her.
I felt like I was an abusive owner to a kitten feeding it nasty leftovers and barely attending to it when just over the fence was a loving home that would have gladly taken her in and provided the care she deserved. She's probably sad now, but it'll just be for a little while.
sometimes the grass is greener, and I'm glad
she'll be able to find that out,
and find out that she can be loved, just not by the likes of
me
So long, it was something...
<3

just go **** your Egyptian kiss *** lover boy
I don't care.
You'll have to do a lot more to ever make me jealous,
like leaving me alone
when I need space

a ****** and a crackerjack dont go smoking with out the rope or the hognose tie gets laid in the face machine

pushed for the review
I don't take chances in the arrow socket
lord
has his signs

your trying too hard;
figure a
litmus

industry

gobbled by the majic   ignoring your salad

bewildered in a
cruel way

slap me or
slap yourself

go go
toad

pidgeon scratched paper in red ink

neon slipper
agua

black ****** bamboozled

blessings

for the in rest
in  a setting

give it all back

fools good
for the furnish

why don't you
scam

  easy tiger
easier timer  it's a good slam
slam it down

down in chimney holes

laugh after

What goes in goes in
read your head
and comb your eyeballs and place your ***** in a candy box
and lament james dean
drinking orangecream.
  The lost souls of yore
stand on battalions of gods;
honing
in a circular
provisional
and blinking past none.  Their time would come, just not
now
just not now

it's been quiet lately    so I just  listen

People hate nature because they see the chaos inherent
in its form,
This reminds then of the unknown and
ultimately death
They aren't in control

](ķ*&they walked back thru the street of snow and ice with whispers in fog. It took too much to stay but we couldn't leave so we lit a f ire. I didn't mind. I was somewhere else   ⅖

why

you were going to the mall


and watching a movie.  you itched your head- and your eye blinked.
your hand got cold,
and your tongue was wet.
your lips were blue,
and your nose was sniffly.

the air was hot,
and the chips were stale.
and the noises
were weird,
and the dialog was forgettable,

and the pain was unbearable.

and the night was long.

and the prayers and pleading amounted to absolutely
nothing

I'll lie to her
with her fat rolls &
tiny feet
"You are so ****, *** *** so ****"
All men lie to get *****

It's been harder lately and it's probably because my purposeless aura transmits through the phone screen in photonic dismal
decay

I **** her anyway. It's okay.
If I've learned anything it's that we are slaves to our selves til the end; salvation
   is when you can
Walk unfettered in a world of pain & lies
& Hate all that you think you love because the ones you love hate you the most

Something like that

Tinnitus rings out in an otherwise tapioca colored room with frog mugs lining the dresser

A picture of a flower is sat bent along the wooded beam

There's a dusty web with a spider's 13th ****** hanging behind me

There's a shoe of only 1 lace adorned
& A cutthroat lingering in the hall

If I had to do it all over again
Id be born somewhere tropical
Then drown when
The waves hit me

This is too much

Suitcase full of stuff lungs full
Of residue
Off a cliff the rocks sit and pearly doves make their nests it's
too late

The same **** over and over.
Pull the gun and shoot the moon.
The parade walks by, 14 nickles, still it rains.
***** knees but God is a friend
Kneel to your master .
Sun,
It.
Kites in black culdesacs, winding.

They persist and feast on my **** which is gelatinous and sickly
& paraded by the local
satanic convention

I'm awake at 7am
& Have managed to dream about crickets in prayer

I have no boss
But I still feel subjugated. Maybe some day
I'll be free
when my corneas are fitted for the massacre

I used to love
someone
named Cambria,
now she
sits behind glass unaware
of my existence;
I saw this coming

I'm just going to get drunk **** it
I love puking into a bowl
And whispering to my plant
Wheels of confusion
Black Sabbath, then black metal,
And then noise, and then silence

light in my eye,
the shadow in my
heart.

this crippled song,
this crippled love

bing bing  bing bimmy

blimph
   foo  
ku-   tooo--ooo --booo -


tteee   teeeee
   teee              teeeee           n
cone-shape  blac  
dual
cab

              smack  -head
pinched ­ in  fun- tal
ban   backed pack
  breed
            big   fo   kid ****

hap
  in hull
  
3 skims
socky    low - loo


pump

Given to god and the flies like the shapely things they are with maggoty arms and lungs full of cement I Dance on craning heads and hit my face in the pool duck
Raining over everyone, nirvana in the sense that faith is delusion I pick away a subtle man in the flow with your hammy down wrapper *** rag in a fat pig origami *****
Set on fire, what was once faith means annihilation. "See me at 5" the choir lunges, l sing til dawn , I pick up the last of the leaves. Soon and everyone goes to heaven

stepping thru it


stepping


gently

on it--


her hand
is cold-


and her lips are tight


blue emblem
in the crest.



speeding down the road -- your blue bug
is going
the limit

tight roap walker

dancer  to pay
the bills


i'm not one to judge

Blaring monkey with the subwoofer
So close to committing homicide,
  I hope the tune was worth it.

Up at 5:04am
Incapable of sleeping
Calling off today; I won't be making the patients their apple sauce
I'll lay in bed
And *** to pictures of
    Of past excursions
Wondering if I still know how to ****
I'm such a loser, but that's a good thing sometimes.
My mirror is broken
And my room is full of ****
.
The webs sit and the spiders eat daily, even some drinking my blood
I **** out the window
And fantasize about
Being a serial killer; but that would bore me even too - too much work to sever a head
And kick it down a street.
Im angry
& Feel as if I have no way of release. I'm unheard,
I hate my friend.
I hate my circumstance and I'm lost
So I write
Some words and prolong the descent -- I know I'll
Get out of this, but It doesn't get easier even after the 119th time
**** it all

Absolute hell
& Misery
My head aches
Like a ticking bomb and my heart is full of compressed air
I see faces without emotion even though there are human impulses here.

I want to leave
And be forgotten
Like the many dead

Nuclear armagedden would have been preferable
I always wanted to be a steaming skeleton
And I always wanted to go blind by beauty inconceivable

Dumb

You can't live without purpose. You can only **** time

Dont mistake being alive for living

ok

So sad I barely feel any anger anymore.
I dreamed of lashing out
at one point but for what purpose?

Acclaim,
passing notoriety?

I am nothing and I will return to nothing.
I need to cease all notions of ego and pride.

Just need to be as docile and accepting as a rabbit as it's picked off by a coyote. You served your purpose. Or maybe there was none, but it's time to leave anyway.

I sat up in amazement



I took a shower

I wrapped it up

and paid for the left overs.

I smiled at the door ---   the paste lay
in a bowtie

back up in a lamborgini
playing the newest

SMAP

death found me today

We're all connected one away or another. If we're all essentially energy in a limitless plane just know that fetus whose brain is suctioned out is you. That ****** thats beaten and laying helpless in a gutter is you. That man ****** the child is you. The patient gouging out his own eye is you. That dictator starving the populous is you. I'm you writing this. You're me reading it. You're everyone and everyone is me. That itch in your arm is the millions as they decay, and the trillions as they echo back from the void; we see the limitless expanse. We feel the emptiness. There's no escaping god when you always were God

I feel like I've suffered brain-damage and it makes me feel bad.  maybe too many nights alone does it.  my vocab is bad  and my thought process is dull and stiff .  I splash water  and burn up a little.
too  think I had it all  .

I   can  still point  at  saturn

Im followed by the flies. I killed about 16 of them. I bury them in toilet paper then flush them. I drink my water and sit on my bed. Today was a blur. my coworker is dying and it bums me out. I dont really like him but I dont like to see needless suffering. And other things are getting me down. I am lonely lately and I have no real ambition anymore. I look outside and see Saturn. I see the millennia of refracted light. I see the boulders on the hill and the clouds in the distance. I see the tree still standing because it needs to. I will try to stand too

I was so depressed about 2 hours ago I could barely move

I heard the walls
and the sink washing .

I stepped outside  and saw the cat climbing up the fence,
and the lady
beating her towel
  on a board.

the moon was full --

a rune spelled out.

emptiness, fulfilling.



A PHONECALL;

2 days later.
a video   on demand --  3 channels-- infinite potential.

no work now-

but I   was staring     out   my    car .     too much.   today

It takes a second to say how you feel

It takes a lifetime to know yourself

It takes money to die

It takes a train to stop crying

It takes a scientist to know what's right

It takes a man to jump in a fire

It takes a flame to keep burning

At the precipice of civil war, they say 10 cigarettes and a jug of wine will get you anything
Tattered clothes and scraggly beards, I cuddle with my animal and dream of days before time,
But still the sun rises and it yells
obscenity

.,,..,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,..,,,,,,,,,,.,,,­,,,,,,,.,,,,,,,,,,,,..,,,,,,,.........................,,,........­.......,,,,,,,,,,,,,,..................,,,,,,,.............,,,,,,­,.................,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,w,hy,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,A,,m,,,,,,,,,i,,,,,,,,a,lw,a,ys,,,,,,,,,­,d,,rea,m....in,,,,,g,,,,,]]

Don't ever fault yourself for having loved too much
That's like faulting the sky for having gave a desert too much rain to see if at least
one flower could
grow

this lonliness will **** me

my dreams
are dead


sitting in the trash

can

--
brain matter in my head

my dreams are dead

i am dead

i am dead


no more luck
or glory-

spoons sitting ***** on the table

with the abused
flower


.

no one is here
to hear
it


dreams are
nothing to me now

nothing to me now


i gave up too easily

i don't even know what i wanted

i puff on  a popcorn  scented vape

i tilt the fan like so

i look out the blinds

and see a guy strutting around like elvis

i see an old lady
with her 80s Walkman
picking up her dog ****

i see a mailbox that's full and full of amazon junk

i see a cloud whose belly is full
and is ready to spill on the grass

i see a dead ******
on the dirt
i see a horses' dung

i see a
yellow banana dangling from the 2nd story

i see a childs' guts
on the asphalt

I see a 3000 ft ice cream cone

I  see the face of god

I've seen it all

what now

They make me write I sit down
I've evacuated these bowels countless times
You lean against a fence and leery eyes silently judge what the **** did I do
to
you?

cut throat



with no one in the hall.



it's about 10:30 now--

so the tv is off.


bed time insomnia and ill will.


I still dream of you sometimes

hurts
                                                                         in  a puddle

of spit
and dung,

hurts.
cuffed behind -- you've already bled out-- - you already made your stand.


1,000,000 hours didn't mean anything in that
1 second.


now you're nothing. how I envy you

Happy for me is not being crippingly depressed. Im happy. I can make pancakes at 2am and be ok. I'm ok. I will sleep fine. But I still think of you