But it didn't feel like enough. The yogurt was dry and the gaurds would bash his head with a mallet. He carved "deceit" into the walls and gargled with soap.
Push ups for days, and sit ups until he was a man.
13 deaths isn't anything as long as you're free.
The bars would not budge, and steel doesn't rust

sunshine
The heart remains
The ghost cries in the dusk. don't hate what you refuse to believe in

Rattling down a hall way with a case of beer I see Ethan
Checkered shirt with pink hair
👌🖕 candy lit dungeon
I crouch for crumbs.

I have my wine, I have enough ******* to worry about.
Float on into infinity

2 seconds to write. Power off watch the shadow turn into mist

So so so so  close.
I pull up the covers and yawn. I think about nothing. I brush my teeth and I cry and look into the mirror. So so so so so ugly so fast. The snow is falling and the tiles are cracking. I smile and go back to bed. If I die at least no one will be sad

We're all connected one away or another. If we're all essentially energy in a limitless plane just know that fetus whose brain is suctioned out is you. That ****** thats beaten and laying helpless in a gutter is you. That man ****** the child is you. The patient gouging out his own eye is you. That dictator starving the populous is you. I'm you writing this. You're me reading it. You're everyone and everyone is me. That itch in your arm is the millions as they decay, and the trillions as they echo back from the void; we see the limitless expanse. We feel the emptiness. There's no escaping god when you always were God

This bed is so comfy. I think it has some **** stains and a mouse lives in it but it's so comfy in its broken way. There's a constant stream from the sewer washing around my head in the night. I had oatmeal earlier and listened to braveheart soundtracks.
Do what you want. Dream before you stop dreaming. I fall asleep and it's nothing, just like when I used to be eternal. I want to go home. I want to be me

I just lost another poem by my finger sliding and hitting a button oh well it doesn't matter. It was ok, I liked the description of a certain woman's hair as 'death' and my heart like a pale sepiatone.
Anyway you win or not or whatever.
I think I'm a loser, or just really don't care anymore.
What's winning if it costs you everything and it's for someone else? Get the **** out of my life.
I hope it's sunny tomorrow so I can feed some ******* ducks in the park

walked down the road and along the street where there was snow. It was cold and cloudy and my finger was cold too. I walked into the store and the Asian owner Bob had a mask on, I didn't. I proceeded to place my miller highlife and tea on the counter and paid for it. "Nice day" I said. He agreed and I walked back into the snow and went home

But I'd have to pay for it. And I wouldnt mind. I stopped caring about what's 'real' anymore. This pain is real enough

Let's dance baby
Let's dance
Let's hop on a train to no where sipping a corona
Your face scarred with innocence

A pill bottle barricaded inside
Pleading as the bayonets stick you in
Let's dance let's dance baby
Purple
Blue, blurrred running from a dream
Running from a dream
Pockets lined with gold
Baby youre a star
Pandemic blues
I reach out for you

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

,😟

With a person you hate and wishing they were dead. And when they go to the bathroom the toilet flush is an agonizing disturbance, and their footsteps like trampling on your mother's grave. You want out, but theyre there and they know you hate it, and you want to sleep without their warmth. What once was comforting is now suffocating, their reassurance and notion of love, cruelty.
You want out, out, out ,out, out onto a dead field with no rose and no shine, just like you always imagined, just like your dreams

And the best are about sandwiches and windows. The words do not care about me and I do not own them

Is think about yourself.
I don't write this.  I don't need to know why    I just need proof that it was there, and actually lived, not a fading shadow or a lost thought

Women, birds, cars, zoos, atms, shoes, pasta salad, cake, burritos, haMmers, grass hoppers, parrots, politics, money.
I just want my box, and the world can *******.
It takes about 25 a week so it's attainable. I don't live to work, and I'm not sqaundering my youth to be a slave. I can be a ****** in my 30s and 40s, but right now I'm a rockstar. I don't want my soul essence squeezed from me. I'm not ready to be shackled.
Shackled by marriage, or children,
Or social status and its upkeep.
Just give me the box, you can have the stuff

I then went back up stairs and continued to knock the door for 2 mins and yell as loud as I could; no response so I charged through the door and the hinge flew off and the frame splintered in pieces and I grabbed the **** from the throat and pulled him to the floor from the toilet and he gasped for breath.
"You ******* OD'd you *******" I said to him.
This **** is grey, and they don't care. I just prolonged the inevitable and he was angry,
Maybe because I broke the door maybe because it didn't matter

I put her back in her box, and tuck her under the bed and she doesnt even cry

Lucid dream. Then I will

escape

1000 miles is not any man youd wanna see anyway.
Really gross experience,
I won't write about it.         Banning is a *******

Changes in season
Like a bleeding
Clown

Flipped in a magazine circling the afro haircut radio specimen of latitude

Hairy ****, at 2mm shaving device.
I arrest her like a poolboy bowling pin

Sorry for hurting you physically
I don't know what I'm doing
I'm still a dumb kid even though I'm 25,
Not to absolve me of Blame but I'm dumb

I'm really dumb 8(5) = 40
Took me 3 seconds.  Pain is so so so so so so so so so so so sensual that's why it hurts

New years day
A mile away
Bleeding hearts on display
Walk a mile
And turn around
The loudest cheers
Aren't from the crowd

I sip my drink
I crash my head
I walk off the peer
Straight into bed
I puff a light
I flip the switch
2020
Can't tell which is
which

his head was soft
his whiskers were full
his fingers were long
and his skin was old
his eyes were green
and his tongue was blue
his name was Ceasar
and he carried a broom
he swept
the sidewalk
he skated around
he colored the fences
with a rusty crayon
he really liked pie
he really liked fudge
he was only so nice
because he wanted to die

I sit in the gutter
I sit on the street
I sit on the mud
just below the creek
I ramble in the wind
I row in the stream
I talk to bugs
& eat refried beans
I smile in the morning
I cry in the night
I am only guided by
a flickering light

Love is a like a ride for women when men built the amusement park. It's too much ******* effort some times. I'm not here to amuse you.
Pay your own dinner, tell your own jokes. I'm staying home and doing nothing. I already worked today

She stared at me with cold eyes
"Hey what's up. Why are you staying at me?"
The words had no effect and she merely skittered to the back of the store.
It was really late or she was having latency issues on account of a Xanax binge.
I bought cigarettes like a ******* fool - it's so embarrassing nowadays and I practically say it under my breath. At least I buy the cool kind
"Marlboro 27s please"
I go home then watch pulp fiction and finish tattooing my arm and gulp my steel reserve. I live like a ******* goblin. I get so drunk that I start jacking off on the porch and eventually stop once the third car with its blinding light shakes me out of my stupor.
Now it's 6 am and I sleep. I dont dream. The window is frosted over and I will pray to Jesus.
I will take help from anyone at this point.
The gutter is too full and I'm standing naked in a pool of leeches. It's gone too far

Writing to a pig in the dirt
To a duck hanging by a ceiling fan
To an **** full of *** and a belly withering in December heat
To a clown singing duality
To a niece jumping rope tommorow
To a grandma ******* on caramel
To a giraffe eating chocolate
To a ****** praying to Solomon
To a chunk counting to forty three
To a mother breastfeeding an ape
To a man
******* a fetus
To a poet crying in an aquarium
To a hobo
Drinking two qaurts of bleach
To a teen sprouting fuzz on a grey sweater at night.
I watch with both eyes.
The red omen is near so dont say that you're a
blind balloon. Who wants a copy.
.
.
.
.
.
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z I p

I don't know where my mind went. At the bus stop at 5am picking up trash and looking at envelopes.
I step on the cracked pavement. Daddy is late today so the flies **** on the pickle.
These words mean absolutely nothing. If only I had a spatula.
Freezing now with an imminent snow storm. One day I'll get what i deserve.
One day I'll look at a dead crow sqaushed in a truck wheel.
one day you'll tell me to sleep so I don't hurt anymore.
I'm the bad guy biting my tongue.
I roll over and pray for dawn,
I sit up in the gray moon
telling her all my secrets because I no longer care if I can
never forget

blood stained and cold, your hand was laid out grasping at imaginary roses.
the room was wet, and there was chilly air, and the footprints were plain as day.
tv blared in the other room, a man talking over a studio audience.
it was a very ordinary day
,
clouds and a shrubs in the back, with a barking dog and chimney smoke, and a laughing neighbor and a kid with a backpack. A red car a white door, and muddy sneakers. too ordinary for something like this. Why is it always so ordinary. why is it like a dream

blue moon scud missile detonating in LA.
MILLIONS perish and millions are displaced.
The queer bar is turned into a microwaved dirt mound and city hall is a black lung. Gavin newsome is a glowing red **** and the **** doesnt exstinquish his radiated carcass.

I fly by at night and talk to Toquito and the 2 bums.
"Yuhh?"
"Yuh"
I drive away kicking dust. The hills shake as volcanic lava spews forth and acid rain pummels the street. I have a taco from Toquito and lm racibg by at 120. I dodge the rain and a big steaming boulder rolls past. It crushes a bystander. A pit forms in the street and swallows the nearby buildings. I skate by the cracking pavement and my car nearly slips in the pit. As i speed past the street crumbles entirely and all that remains is a hellish inferno. I continue on for about an hour and the hellish vision subsides. I park my car and fall asleep and in the next morning drive to china. I have panda express and write of my harrowing journey on my 17 follower blog

It's been a good few days because it has been so quiet. The neighbor hasnt blown any gas in my window lately and the cat hasn't puked in my rug.
I took a long bath and played with myself and played pink floyd "echoes live in Pompeii"
I laughed at someone i saw on my screen and gave him a thumbs up and i cried when i saw a silverback crying for momma.
It was a good day, quiet.
I had the heater on and jammed on my guitar and took a fish oil.
Then i walked down the road and didnt say hi to ryan because he's a goof. All he does is play pool and smoke *** and brag about his obese GF with her 2 kids that he willingly lets stay with him. Good deal man.
I make it back home and call my dad.
"I'm dying, I have anxiety" i say
He calms me down as usual. I lay back in bed and watch my phone. I clack away and now here i am writing this poem with nothing more to recount.
It is quiet, if only i actually listened and
enjoyed it rather than always write about it

I wish we could just go back to the days of nerdy dads wearing sandals and moms with high waist levis and floral wall paper and pristine cement and clear skies and reporters with paisley ties and teachers with vests and grandmas with cookies and kids with blue shirts because im ******* tired of everyone suddenly being an 'artist' and quirky 'creative'.
If there was no audience or followers youd still be ******* talking about a sitcom or panini you ate, now you just share it

I cut my face the other day to make a cool scar.
Ive done it on my chest a few times no problem but the blade was rusted and dull. This was a proper razor so i didnt account for the sharpness and made a ******* fissure on my cheek. I put some scotch tape on it and went to go grab my mail. The lady grimmaced, i said "yeet".
to my close acqauntences i said it was a cat.
"******* vicious cat" said jimmy john.
My life is that dull.

Green onions go in macaroni salad
not the white ones. It's too bitter otherwise.

We love you alex trebec.

I see this guy dancing like a fool while his lady friend streams it. You think she respects you doing the cha cha like a good boy? Shes laughing at how pathetic you are you cutesy fool. She wants you to punch her sqaure in the face knocking out 6 of her teeth and to put her in a chokehold and stab her ****** like a stud.
I have my coors light
So i dive off the jumping board. **** dating,
I love my squrrels. I make a **** good beefcake marsala for dinner.
**** my ****

"I'LL THROW THAT ******* PHONE AGAINST THE WALL IF I HEAR MUSIC AGAIN"
"I'll throw you against the wall you fat ****"
And now im out of a job.
He wanted silence while i scrubbed the grime.
I wanted noise, i wanted blood really, and now on my bed its not so bad. I have noise and the months flew by like a time warp.
I worked for nothing, i saved for nothing, my life was sold.
Don't be sold. Dont forget youre gonna die

******* toes wasn't as great as I thought it'd be prior to first doing it.
I always imagined that it'd taste like like candy. It tasted like a hand. A flavorless hand. I was so underwhelmed. Everything is always a lie, even feet

Yeah you know tattoo ink has cancer right?

You know that pizza has cancer right?

You know that coffee has cancer right?

You know that bananas have aluminum?
You know that the Earth is dying and an asteroid collision is imminent?

You know that greenhouse gasses are exacerbating climate change?
You know that hormone blockers for an 8 year old is ethical?
You know that I'm a primate?
You know that
I like trap rap

You know that my name is Wei Brown
I live in the gentrified suburbs

I planted a flower and it sits on my stove
*******

You know that every question is an answer

I was watching you there standing with the witches in your head
You were not smiling
In fact you were dead

And there was a blank canvas
With god on the side
It said "who here among us, has any more
Pride?"

So I stole it and went feral
And I tore it with my tongue
Like a wounded mother
Cradling her young

There were whispers in the footsteps,
A shadow on at night,
You didn't know that, you were just another light

So the showmen all grew angry, and the clown was ignored, all the people stared at him while he sat there bored

A channel was not open, and there were 50 singing bells
One For each orphan and
Another for your health

Now no one was asking why the dancers wouldnt cry,
So they all left to chase another lie

there was a bird and there was a raccoon and there was a tree and there was a grey rock and brown shrubs and green grass and a blue soul wandering  lost so very lost

He got what he wanted. He thought about it for weeks and years.
It happened.
It was pleasant.
But the drive home was like a candle on a windowsil
and as it faded, only I could remember,
Only I could recall, and I sat in my chair watching a wall.
I no longer know what is fantasy, and no longer know what is dim reality. Everything has broken down into
deceit and wishful dreaming

He looked at a rothko and said "any child could do that"

"So?"

"It's crap, it's not art"

"Yeah it is. It's obviously an expression by the artist and is therefore art"

"Well it's just junk. I hate it. Art used to have skill"

"Well you seem really upset by it so I think it did its job. Rothko would be proud"

"IT'S NOT ART!"

Davinci wishes people cared this much

blank for 3 good lines



I went looking for fires in the mildew air In January like leaflets after a holocast
The first to go is the mosquito. I caught you cheatin,
Hanging in the closet are your pearls, hanging in the yard are your swine.
I don't care to know you

A breath at 3:18.
Pull the cover and think of coyotes in the canyon.
rainbow car crash, Nova
Caress, Amsterdam somersault,
October induction.
willows breeze.
Be calm. Be present. be resolved

You disgusting pig. You conniving ***** with your 28 beta orbiters. You fake, image driven, grateful dead listening octopus sleeve having imbecile. Go walk barefoot in San Francisco you free spirit. Get a staph infection and hepatitis. Sell your saggy *** for crack. Go find some gutter rat named Skittles and shoot up in a panda Express bathroom. You ******* *******, stanky ****. And take care of your kid. He's emaciated and you spend your child support on shoes. *******. *** *** *** *** *** *** ***; you ******* and you see the truth. And I never felt more alone when I was with you. Being alone is never lonely when I'm away from the

NOISE

Noise without reason. Stupid noise. Noise like saying I love you in a text message. worthless

Toothless
Fat

Hobbit.

Tip toe along a grey road; pick roses; pick plums.

TV on at 3, but most likely youtube.

I told my friend about my burthday.

I feel the carcinogens in my lungs.

I hit a new PR on close grip.

I have thoughts at 2 miles an hour.
I drive a Scion.

I blast suicide boys with my brother to be edgy but really like cannibal corpse.
I won't live to 50.
I'm sorry to no one.
I have a head ache; I cook meat, with hair.
You will one day be proud.
You will dance in
a pool of rain
you will be loved, love like fantasy, not
Truth. There will be roses in the corridor, and
leaves in the cellar like a dim hallucinaton in moonlight

Do you feel any better when you've been stuck inside?
Do you think it hurts me?
The only thing that hurts me is
a dead bluebird when I'm walking to work at 5 am.
I dont care who you ****, or how you parade yourself.
I'm a man now. Only the boy would have been bothered, because he couldn't bear to be alone with his thoughts, unperturbed, resiliant; he needed company.
Now my thoughts are company.
Now the wind has something to
say, and I listen

Yo, it's 3 o clock, what you doin
Straightening out this bent piece of aluminum for the insects at dawn.
Your face is reminiscent of hepburn.
One fifth left.
5 days left, here, then back at it. It's nice to be here again, seeing the trees and the streets.
I will walk the school tomorrow and see if I've really changed. I'll see if my anarchy carving is still on the bench.
I'll see the mud mound I played football on. I'll see where I got my pb&j in the morning. I'll see where I thought I would never change and where I'd never grow old.
Beautifully naiive and sweet. But I could no longer be sweet. I had to be smart

"write down how you're feeling"

He picks up a pen and draws a single dot .

"This is me, but it's mostly you too"

Some 60 year old ****** with no teeth offered me a ******* for my pack of cigarettes.
I just gave her the pack and said
"Thank you, but I'm alright".
I picked up my brother at the next block.
There is no light

Why am in a flesh cage with an ego-maniac brain?
Why haven't my wisdom teeth come in yet at 24
Why is the boot over my head?
Who will have to die slowly and painfully
?
Why does the lady next to me own 10 cats that follow in perfect formation behind her as she tosses bird seed and yells in spanish?
What is the capital of Bangladesh?
Do women really love or are they just oppurtunistic resource hoarders and compulsory validation seekers?
Is it true gravity can be circumvented with faith?
Step off the ledge and have faith.
Faith is what will keep you safe.
My heart
*******
hurts