Oh dang, here I go again
Through the mental abyss, the closest thing I have to a friend
I can run all I want, but I’ll never make it through
Not alive at least, at least I don’t think so
Oh well I won’t know if I don’t try though
But what’s this?
There’s someone here with me
I’ve never seen them before
They must be here to guide me through
Maybe if I hold their hand they’ll run through this abyss with me
Well I grabbed their hand and what do you know
They’re running with me
Here we go
I’m running through the abyss, but I’m no longer alone
There’s a light at the end of this tunnel
I’m about to be free
It’s all thanks to this new found company

Here I come
There I go
Traversing through the universe
As a solemn soul
Don’t know where I am going;
And I have no need for directions
I seek no destination
Among the stars is where I belong
Out in the blackness
It calms my being
No longer have eyes;
For I use my mind to guide the way
Here I am, traversing among the stars
For this is my purpose
This is where I belong

The air has become cold and brittle once more

And the snow follows close behind

As I prepare for the change in the weather

I can feel my seasonal shadow approaching

And with it, the reminders of the past

Linger ever so closely

But I am not the same person my shadow visited the year before

Will it even be able to recognize me?

I hope not

Why do I always pick the people

Who appear to be save havens

But are really just;

Broken homes?

My mother has always been my biggest fan;
But not always my bestfriend

Constantly picking apart my flaws, at what always seemed to be the worst moment possible

Could easily identify mine, but refused to acknowledge hers;
Constantly making her upbringing her excuse and to why she is the way she is

My childhood is the reason I am who I am, but I do constantly throw it in her face

Hiding perfectly behind a wall of excuses and within a sea of trauma, my mother has become the perfect worst version of herself

She now tries to be better, but still refuses to accept any actual change

I hope she soon finds peace within herself because no one deserves to leave this world with a heavy heart

We live in the past because we cannot see the future

We dwell on every mistake, failure, and heartbreak;
Because we that's what is familiar to us

The idea of realizing how much we've changed is unfathomable to us;
Simply because we don't believe in ourselves

We are great and we are worthy of every good thing that has happened and will happen

Choose not to dwell in the past;
And learn to dream in the future

Understand how capable you are

Become the you I know you can be

Black;
Everything is black
The sight of small lights,glimmer all around;
They are synchronized with my heartbeat
It is silent;
So very much so that I can barely hear my own;
Thoughts
I am not sure if I am alive or dead;
And time ceases to exist
I'm still, yet moving;
Maybe being carried by an unknown force
The urge to fight it eludes me;
And as the lights around me begin to fade
Everything becomes;
Black

I’ve recently started to fear;
The day where I cease to exist
No longer being able to hear the sounds of;
Laughter;
And see the faces of strangers passing by
I will become a distant memory;
And the fire that burns inside those who truly;
Cared;
I fear being forgotten;
But the thought of becoming something greater; keeps me moving;
And helps me cope with my passing;
Though I am not dead quite yet
My body will mold into the very earth I once called;
Home;
And my spirit will forever dance with those who have gone;
Before me

Fingers run through tangled hair;
And I see you wince in pain;
As I pull ever so gently

I feel your breath on my neck;
As your head lays on my chest;
Looking up with soft eyes

It is as if you see something that isn’t there;
A version of me known only to you;
A version worth loving

My eyelids grow heavy;
And you are already asleep;
Everything is as it should be

As I ascend into the heavens
I can hear demons laugh and angels weep
At the thought that something so unholy
Could rise up into the holy kingdom
And as I grow closer, the fires of Hell trailing behind
I reach for the glowing gates
I grab ahold and make my way through
Chaos walks with me, the kingdom fills with doom
I begin my mission, for I am minion of Hell
I have breached the Lands of prosperity;
And will soon burn it to the ground
This kingdom will be mine
This I am sure of
For I will do whatever it takes
I will rip the wings from angels
Turn their halos into symbols of pain
For this is my promise
I have nothing to lose;
And all to gain
For I am already dead
Suffering is all I have to my name
This world will crumble
This world will bear my pain
For I am no one
Seeking lifelong fame
My mission is over
The Heavens now burn with my flames

Do you remember

When we were young

And the future was still a sweet sensation

Within our minds

When did it all

Become so bitter?

I dance in the darkness

Sipping on star shine

With hopes of becoming the

Light

I remember when I was young
Bent and broken
Seeing the world through the black void
Wishing life would cease from my body
But then I found light
Seeping through the cracks
Reminding me life is beautiful
That it's beyond the black vision portrayed onto me
I crawled into the light
Bathing in it's beauty
I am reborn as a beacon of light
I now spread this message
To all who see the world through the void
Never stop searching for light
It will forever be available to you
Never lose hope

One must learn to love oneself before taking on the challenge of loving another being; doing so without loving thyself first can bring chaos into ones life

Loud voices bleed through the walls;
And echo through the house
The sound of doors slamming rumble like thunder
Blankets pulled up to my chin as I cower in the dark
My brother does the same in his bed next to mine
The stairs creek as they're stomped upon
The front door slams;
And the house becomes silent
I can faintly hear the sound of my mother weeping
This has become a family tradition;
And hopefully will become a faint memory

You swallow his words so easily;
You might as well admit defeat;
Before you become entangled within;
His lies;
And start to wonder why
You didn't leave when you had the;
chance
Now here you are;
Trapped
Inside the mind of a man;
Who could care less if you are happy;
And his only victory belonging to;
His "clever" mind;
Which so easily, lead you to believe his words were;
Genuine

It’s dark and it only grows darker. The sounds of footsteps ascending the stairs now grow louder as they approach my door. A shadow appears from underneath the door, most likely belonging to him. The footsteps have stopped right outside my door and now a loud deep pounding begins, for he now knows where I am. Why is he here? Why has he come? I kept my end of the deal, just as I promised. I suppose that doesn’t matter now. He now begins his assault on the one and only thing separating him from me and I fear I do not have much time before my room is breached. I fear this may be the end of me…dear lord he has broken through. He stands in the doorway tall and shrouded in long black robes. He holds a weapon, it appears to be a scythe, but it is dark and I am frozen with fear. He draws ever closer, reaching out his cold boney hand to grab me. This is it. My demise is near and if you are reading this I want to make whomever is reading this aware that I kept my promise. My promise that my soul would be up for auction if I did not do everything in my power to save that child. I did what I could, even if it was not much. I didn’t break my promise. I. Did. Not. Break. My. Promise……I’m sorry dear child….I’m sorry my dearest daughter…

The sound of our lips being pressed together;
Is much better, than the sound of our fists;
Bouncing off of one another;
And I think that your love;
For the sound of violence;
Is the reason, that I;
Left

We are all just paper people

Patiently waiting for the wind

To carry us away

To places we've only dreamed of

We are fragile in nature

But our strength within keeps us hopeful

As we wait for the day

Where we find a place to call home

Brand new thoughts emerge;
As I take a step away from;
Myself
And peer into my world;
Through a new set of eyes
I no longer just see my flaws;
I come up with ideas to change them
Everything around me seems brighter;
And I no longer crave the same bitter taste;
That I have been for so long
For so long I have convinced myself that I am;
Changing;
Without actually doing anything to be different
I hope that I will be better;
No;
I will be better;
And I will fight to be someone I can look up to
Someone who others can look up to;
And be inspired to be better themselves
I do this knowing that I don't have to;
But that I need to

I wish I could say I miss you;
And the way it felt when you were around
But I don't;
And that's okay
But what isn't okay;
Is the way I now currently;
Feel;
And I guess you could say this is my way;
Of saying that I still love you;
maybe I do;
But the you I love is the memory;
Not the person you have;
Become

Fear not the flowers


                                     That flourish


                                                               From your hard work

Words fail to fall from my fingertips

As I sit here, feebly trying to write something

The idea is there, yet my imagination eludes me

Trying to press words onto digital paper

Seems like an impossible feat

But I try anyway

With hopes that something creative will come from it

But in the end, I feel all that I am doing is

Rambling

Sitting;
On this old bench;
Made from old wood and covered in chipping paint
Feeling the breeze;
And listening to the birds chirp as they pass by
The sun keeps my skin warm;
And there isn't a cloud in the sky
My mind, usually flooded with thoughts;
Has become calm
I feel at peace
People, both young and old, pass by;
They seem to be feeling the same way as I;
And as quickly as this venture had begun;
It was over;
When I;
Woke up

The sound of shallow wind whispers into my ears
The smell of fresh air comforts my;
Senses;
And alleviates the stress of unwanted;
Thoughts
The skin on my palms is damp;
So much that the skin feels new
The soles of my feet begin to ache;
For I have been walking for some time now
The sun is starting to fade;
And the moons glow quickly replaces the orange aura from the sun's;
Passing;

Flow free like the air that flows between our hair
Be the thing that people need;
Though they may not know it
Enter quietly upon the life of a being;
Caress their skin with such little effort
Let your presence be known, but do not disrupt
Fly high overhead
Look down over the lives that you touch everyday
The bodies that breathe you in and out;
Know that you are just as much a part of them as they are you
Flutter gracefully in their thoughts;
And lovingly in their hearts
Dance with their spirit, it may just dance with you

You sit there, staring;
Judging every ounce of my being

Chipping away at every flaw in my character;
And every mistake I have made

I see you whisper to yourself;
Under heavy silent breaths

Words of chaos and destruction

I am unbothered;
For I know you no longer know who I am

I'm not entirely sure I know who I am;
But I do know that the being sitting before me

Is no longer me

Here I am again, passing through the wind like dust, without a care and without a purpose. I am happy, unconditionally happy. I hope this feeling never leaves my body, I wish to be happy for all eternity, but unfortunately all good things must come to an end. It is unfortunate indeed but if happiness never ended we would not be human, but something much greater. Our sorrow is what defines us, it’s what drives us, it’s who we are, and it is us. When sorrow comes knocking, many dread that it will never leave, that it will forever linger on the edge of their emotional plain. But it won’t, I promise, sorrow never lasts forever. It comes as it wishes and leaves just the same, but I promise you sweet child that the storm will pass, light will shine through the darkness. I do however wish that you would learn to live with the sadness when it does come knocking, open the door with open arms and embrace the pain and enjoy it’s company when it’s available because if you take it for granted you will miss it when it’s gone, forever hoping for its return, missing its lingering taste, sour and bitter while at the same time sweet, sweet beyond belief. Happiness may reign king, but sadness is a cruel and rewarding queen always leaving her mark on her subjects. Next time you experience happiness always remember this, sadness is close to follow but unlike happiness you will always remember it. You will remember how it destroyed you and rebuilt you all in the same lifetime. How it whispered sweet nothings in your ear and how it left your heart cold and desolate, and warm, and kind, and humble, and filled with all sorts of goodness. Embrace the dark cloud sweet child and do not submit to defeat, for sadness will break you down and help you rise to your feet.

I hate how big

       This bed feels

                    Without you

                                        In it

Small embers burn ever so slightly on the edges of my heart
Hopefully someone will blow very gently upon them;
Possibly starting a never ending fire in my heart
This takes a special person;
Someone who does not give up easily
One who would want to do such a task;
And to maintain the growing fire;
Making sure it never goes out
I believe this person to be my soulmate;
The guardian of my flame
Never to leave my side;
And I will never leave theirs
I too will make sure their inner flame never goes out;
Becoming their guardian in the process
We will always be together;
Burning ever so bright;
For all of eternity

I can feel myself sinking deeper

Into my skin

Unable to recognize who I once

Was

Do you ever hear something that leaves you feeling a wave of nostalgia?

You get a warm familiar feeling and are left with a strange tingling feeling across your entire body

Pleasant memoires surrounding that particular song take you back to better days

Days without sadness or melancholy

And when it ends, you feel a little bit sad, wishing for just five more minutes of peaceful pleasantness

I wish I could feel like this forever

As leaves fall from the dying tree
A warm breeze gently;
Carries them
To wherever it desires
The leaves go effortlessly;
And a silent agreement is made
As the journey progresses
The breeze dies down;
And the leaves are carefully placed in their new home
Shortly after the leaves begin to decay;
And once again become part of the earth
Forever possessing warm feelings for the breeze;
That presented them with the opportunity;
To see the world in a different light

My hands have grown strong from constantly picking up my broken pieces

For this, I am grateful

My back has grown strong from carrying around the weight of my failures

For this, I am thankful

My legs have grown tired from aimlessly wandering around in search of a better me

But little did I know that I was searching for something I had already become something beautiful on my journey of self repair

These changes came without me knowing and more come everyday

And for this, I am hopeful

The words you left on my skin;
Sting
And reading them makes me;
Nauseous
I would do anything to remove them;
But the idea of me being better than them gives me;
Hope
I refuse to drown in the body you used to;
Own