It's starting sluggish - slippery,
The aging, as it has to be.
You're twenty-nine, feeling sturdy,
But then - OH NO - you're turning thirty.

This magic kingdom is no fun,
'The great beyond' has just begun,
Your living room gets the greening,
And you a letter - time for screening.

You have a favorite grocery store,
And you just don't care anymore
'Bout looking **** - lingerie?
A onesie! Fluffy as can be.

And then it starts - your body ages,
That goes quickly, not in stages.
You fall asleep wrong on your couch,
The next morning - biggest OUCH!

You can't move -  your head, your neck,
Your hips, your arms, and oh, your back.
You aged a decade in ten hours
And nothing helps, not even showers.

Now you pathetically crawl
To get some paracetamol.
The bathroom seems so very far,
So you just lie there as you are.

In deepest pain, ashamed, destroyed,
Broken, ******, beyond annoyed.
A few days later, you're still there
With a story you can share

With other people - old as you.
Most likely, you have just these two
Friends, you know, you don't need more!
The social you? That was before!

You spend your Sundays in your garden,
Not saying 'sorry', saying 'pardon',
You watch a movie, or you read,
With the glasses you now need.

You have a favorite ***, and pan,
and spatula, and burner, man!
The youth is driving you insane,
And you're continually in pain.

Your feet grow, your bladder shrinks,
At least that's what your body thinks.
You need to *** - constantly!
Even at night, so you flee

Your bed, that you are in by nine,
Right after a glass of wine.
Fatigue is your worst opponent,
Sometimes you just need a moment

For a nap, right after brunch,
Or directly after lunch,
Yet still you're tired - all the time,
Just be careful with your spine...

Yes, thirty is horrible, yet you're alive,
And maybe you manage to survive,
Eat healthy, stay safe, maybe get sporty!
But take it slow - you're pushing forty.