As I lay surrounded by only you, I continue to ask myself,"do I not have the right to say I love you?".

Masking the noise from the Hells below,
leaving me a new chapter to unfold
well my heart is crashing against my window pain
deadly weapons used to mutilate
down for my bloodshot eyes it rains
in my distorted reality
my soul raises up and down rapidly
my future races around the room
pasting through are deadly thoughts and fumes
of distorted people in animal costumes

I scream out for help
but not a woman nor man can hear
no longer I can't bear
the mutilated people I see and hear
I would ignore but they always reappear
right beside me in my ear
my "friends" fluctuate like a hologram
they come swing like wrecking *****
using ancient methods to destroy all

I had some chocolate. That tiny bit of magic.
Shan’t have too much or else the ecstasy is lost
Something like my first kiss. It wasn’t wet and long
But cherishable no doubt, that electric jolt
Comes with blushes and awkward pauses
Followed by my silly little question-- ‘Was it….good?’
**** it all.
Some past are better left forgotten
It will be my last chocolate for a while

It’s hard being patient with a book
While noticing your erratic movement
The way you skip
One feet at a time
On the nice warm mat
Swinging your arms while sending sparks
Like a fairy overdosed on pixie dust
Making auroras out of mundane space
‘Do, do, do, do de dum’
Singing isn't your thing but I
Couldn't get that off my head
And I also have to add
I noticed your pretty face
And cute round
***

Another year, another Samhain, otherwise known as Halloween
The veil will be thin
This evening is different
A mysterious scheme
Children everywhere, nasty or nice
May see the Bogeyman and the monster under their bed
In a different light
Some squeal in fear, others in delight
For the worst that could happen is
A tooth ache, a tummy upset and
A prank from Mum and Dad
But I
Never withered inside
Magic is more than just a promotional spice
Like the Midas touch, only with the mind
Fairies in nature glitter under the sunlight
Witches and sorcerers bring more than just blight
Like an old pagan practice
‘The Book of Shadows’
You record everything that matters to you
From rituals, ancient knowledge and incantations
Samhain is the day for reflection and gratitude
And perhaps to mend the bonds that was once broken
Between our world and the unknown

Should I descend from this clock tower
Or wait a little longer
As I listen to a million heartbeats
In this city that never sleeps
Gleaming brighter than the constellations above my head
Has my slumber really been so long
That lights could be lit absent of flame
Metallic chariots creep on black roads without beasts, tamed
Pushing my kind deeper into the dark membrane
Then again, who am I to complain
I am brought to a tomorrow that never ends
By seizing that which I can bleed for my strength

Did I, did I
Did I just see that?
The face of a familiar sweetheart
That shattered a thousand years back
As I held her in my arms
The only heartbeat I didn't stop
But couldn't save
Putting my proud might and wisdom in its place
Impossible
How? Why?
This ends tonight
In a few hours time
I will greet the sun
And if I am not ******
Then I will return with a pulse
And reunite with that heartbeat
As one

There are those who think that I am strange
My aura gives off fuchsia and violet
With shades of grey
If I am a balloon it wanders aimlessly
From concrete jungles to enchanted forests
And into the hands of a lonely princess
The upset kicks in when they tell me to change
And that I couldn't but I want to blend in so dearly
So you would put a hex on my frown
Turning sour plums to bright sweet oranges
Whispering almost silently with a cute grin
And hypnotic gaze that
You wouldn't have me any other way
Crowning my forehead with a magic kiss
Fate wasn't the same ever since

we never speak about it
it just happens while we lay beneath the sheets
one hand moves to my hips, gripping me close to his, pressing himself against me
and then our clothes are off, and his lips explore my body, eyes focused and calm
mine are wide like the hesitant deer I am, my mouth open in a perfect little circle, noises releasing like smoke into the air
his moans are like music to me, but he is so quiet and his walls are built so high that it is impossible to break

i want to talk about it. i want to hear about his day and his mood, but i suppose his head between my legs will have to do.