A piano plays softly through my ears
My fingers waltz along the keys
Splaying my life out into a symphony
Every note
Cool
Calm
Cultivated  
A captivated audience is a blind one
They can't see what's going on behind stage
The puppets that rise along their strings
Forever to be suspended in space
Controlled and motivated
As long as I'm behind this piano
Mesmerizing the audience
No one will ever see the pool of blood
Arcing along my high heeled clad feet
No one will notice my strained smile
Or the flashing glint
Knives of bone
Protruding from my finger tips
Pray tell
Might I play a song for you?

I spun a fine metal string
I took four corners of my heart
Smoothing them out
With rarely loving hands
I attached the key to my newly minted kite
Out into the storm I swirled
Climbing the glass hill
So many fine lined fractures
I could find at least several sonnets
If only I stooped low enough to read
But alas I've crested my checkpoint
Outstretched you are
Thunderheads dominating the sky
Flashes of light
But my heart still flies on
Unhindered
Paper thin
Right where it's supposed to be
The key flailing gaily
Pure darkness
But sometimes darkness
It can be the brightest thing ever
And it's finally struck its mark
The X has been found
The electricity outlining your delicate veins
I never realized how pretty you were
Smoke curls out of my mouth
Stunned and dazed
Tendrils flowing freely
Dregs of adrenaline
Flooding out of my system  
I never knew that I could feel this way
I never knew
As I lay upon the ground
Watching my hearted kite drop gracefully
Shriveled and burned to a crisp
How important you were to me
Until we were struck
So in our dying moments as you finally reach me
I fold my arms carefully across you
Pressing you into my chest as if I could undo what I did
And we watch the storm rage
As everything slowly melts
Into a velvety soft black
And as one


We stop beating

Mushrooms

They're a tricky sort
I thought that these were the ones
That were safe to eat
But now I've kinda  tripped over my untied shoe lace
And into this vortex of color
Spinning down the base of the funnel
Down a multi colored memory lane
Up the base of a skeletons tap dancing spine
Over I went
And across I go
Pulled under by a pulsating fist of color
I honestly shouldn't have eaten it I guess
Isn't that how most things start out?
I didn't think that it would've been that bad of an idea
I see your smile in the fading rays of a neon rainbow
I smell your laugh as the first rain droplets splatter
Onto this earths crust
I keep swirling through these doorways of color
I'm trying to debate on whether or not I wanna be here
I don't have that much of a choice
Because I watch as my being shatters into three dimensional cubes
Memories splayed out on their surfaces
Regrets on the bottom face
Happiness on the top face
Sadness on the side
And rage remains on the last face
And in the center of that cube
Lays aspirations and dreams
Hopes and wants and needs
These are a few of my favorite things
My past is melting into a shaded future
God I should've checked
Before I let my hunger get the best of me
These colors sharpen my memories
The ones that already hurt without needing help
They soften the bitter edges
A cacophony of impossibility
I think I like mushrooms

Pray tell
Did your soul join the fish
When you died?
Did your lies swim within the same water
I've wondered about death
As everyone else does
Maybe
If I plucked off your scales one by one
They'd tell me
The answers ingrained on the fleshy backs
Blood dripping from your tail
I know you thought that
In dying
Peeling off your mortal shell
Leaving the muscles behind
Snapping the tendons connecting your bones
That you could get away from me
That you could leave me with unanswered questions
To be sown for another person
Passed on
But even now I've hunted you down
I've snared your soul
While you took another form
So simple
Granted even pretty
But now I've flayed your scales
I've split your tail in half
Seeking the answers to my questions
Some sort of comfort
Some sort of warmth
From the blood
Your blood
Seeping through my skin
Pleasantly warm
I see your large eye
Glassed over
Its amusing
They used to be so blue
With sharp cheek bones beneath them
But now they've just been angled
The flesh silver instead of a healthy pink
Fingers replaced with fins
Memories replaced with bubbles
Pray tell
Do your memories swirl in the vortex of under currents?
Am I down there?

Thoughtfully staring out behind a mug
The lip of it poised at my mouth
A flash of a smile
A hint of a rose
Black
Chai
Tea
It coats my tongue
Somehow sweet but still bitterly spice
Oddly comforting
A fallen petal
The warmth pooling
As if its been shot into my coalescing blood stream
Ripples spread out on a ponds surface
I'll love you like you were the last flower
Before a winter storm
Delicate and beautiful
Looking into the mouth
Of a frozen hell
But still refusing to bend
The way the wind wants you to
Splatters of blood on an almost white shirt
Echoes of  your laughter
Cacophonous in my own ears
A withered form of your smirk
When did this town burn?
And when did I let go of the match?
I still don't remember when everything changed
But does anyone really ever remember
Or is everything suppressed under snow coated stones

I love your eyes
I really do I don't tell you that often
If I made an honest love poem
It would be me telling you
That I wanna ****** you
With the simplicity of words and imagery
To paint the finest things that you've ever seen
Only using a flourish of an ink pen
Things that we both relate to
That we both see
I don't wanna just ****** what's in your pants
Honestly I could care less about that
I don't give a **** about it
Because love
I wanna ****** your soul
I wanna be the pied piper
That causes your laughter to dance
Through the roiling green mountain doors
Over the crooked floor
If you ever feel like you're falling
Its fine
I'm just your safety line in a roaring sea
At least I thought I was
Right now I can't really tell if you've turned into the sea
And I've turned into a helpless overboard passenger
But I know that I wanna name each and every single laugh
After a fallen star
Not the stars that sing
Prancing on the silver lined edge of a stage
The stars that tell us secrets
But only the ones who listen long enough
Patiently waiting
For knowledge to bestow their ears
That's what I wanna hear from your laugh
I wanna be dumbstruck
Simply because you smiled at me
The wind never blows against you
Or away from you
Because you
That's just how amazing you are  
That it curls and follows at your heels
That it wants to follow you
And when you snicker
Heaven collapses
And hell
Hell implodes
Because the devil himself
He gets down on his knees because your snicker
Is just so holy that heaven can't exist because of it
And hell can't coincide peacefully with it
Because it'll never be able to pump out enough evil
To even conquer the pureness
Or to even hope to defeat
The wholesome goodness of that single snicker
That I out of all of the people on this planet
Have gotten you to emit
Thank you for making my frost bitten days warm again

Without you
I'm empty
You see I never realized
How much of a constant factor
You had become in my life
Now I'm just hollow
Writers block doesn't even visit my bed anymore
I wish you'd come back soon
But with the outlook of today
It doesn't seem like it will happen
I'm going insane without you
I'm sorry I don't know how this happened
I should've taken better care of you
But then I remember that I did
You were spoiled
I loved everything about you
I'm sorry