In order to take
Any smile with me,
I must create
A vision of what I see.

But how can I make
Using medium and mind
When I am reduced
To such small confines.

I would use red
And with it some black
But no matter the outcome
I can't get you back

Colors and canvas
Can help me create,
But I will not ever
Get to demonstrate,
That I can be better
So what is my fate?

What's revenge,
If not a kiss
Who's pallete ranges, from sweet
To bitter.

I will taste the lust on your lips,
For I have watched it linger there.
I will coax out those words you hide in your mind,
For I have seen sentances spark within your stare.
I will bite at these things that keep you contained,
For I also wish to be free from restrains.

Dig at me
With your knives and your spades,
You will not unburden my heart.
You can not find what no longer remains,
Or what was never there from the start.

Plead with me, your insincerity,
For thy glazed eyes will not ever see clearly.
I am full, of this emptiness.
I am the unhealthy and disgusting piggybacking on bitterness.

Holding every deadly sin in the palms of my hands,
And rolling the dice instead of making demands.

Hell does summon my fire within.
True wrath, is my only kin

Curtious Curiosity,
Coaxing me in,
Calling my name
Like a chivalrous hymn. 

What is to blame
For what drives me insane 
And calls me like fame
To unwind and untame. 

Breathe in and breathe out
Get rid of all your doubts
Now find what life
Is truly about. 
Smile bright, never doubt.

That magazine you keep on your shelf,
That you haven't looked at, more than twice.
It holds all of my sympathy,
For I know, of what that felt.

There is not a day, I don't wish to be seen
As a woman straight out of a dream.

Dreams to reality.
If what I dream,
could be brought to life,
the world would live a life of strife.

The fiercest animals, together as one,
work to **** 'til the job is done.
our legs cant move as fast as we can run,
so every stumble, is the predators fun.

I arrange these messes of letters;
Trying to express feelings and thoughts.
Twenty six letters do not suffice
To describe some states of mind.
No metaphors, or similies, could portray
The hyperbole, of self induced dismay.

All these little pick me ups that you drop off, they weigh me down.
and I cant even move around. In fear that I, might make a sound.

For if I call, they wont catch me,
And if I fall I will drown.

Here I stand to wait my turn. Here I stand, for I have learned.
My dear we all have ups and downs, just as our faces have smiles, and frowns.
Some days we may want to turn around, and not face the path we're walking down.

For if I call, they wont catch me.
If I fall, I will drown.

Its what's on the inside that matters.
But it's what's on the outside, that gets your attention.

This is the reality in which we live;
In such a messed up world
Where lives are nothing but points to give.

Where is the word of the common man?
Spreading misinformation hand and hand.

Help! Said he, a refugee
Save me from demise.

Save us all, from our land of lies,
For in the west we have it all,
But no one sees, as the world does fall.

I beckon for us to call a truce,
To help out those in dire need -
But to help won't satiate our greed.

We would rather watch a brother bleed,
Than share with another, our own feed.

Help us all, for we are ******.

This is what I've wanted.
To slip under sheets and get a restful sleep,
Instead of laying awake, uncertain, unsatisfied.

I've wished to be lost in the comforts of pillows and blankets,
Not left uncovered, uncomfortable.

I've found a new bed
I've found the dream outside my head.
I finally feel alive, not dead.

You come off as tough and unyielding,
And I, a maliable form..
Show me your weakness;
And I'll show you my strength.

If I cry to the moon, like a wolf in the woods..
Would it heed a reply?
If I let my tears drip, as I bathe in the river..
Would the fish taste the salts of my sorrow?
If I exhale a breath into the night air,
Would the breeze even be aware?

Are my actions frozen in place,
Or simply, displaced..
Like the smile from a face.

I'm wondering how I've got to here,
this point where I'm ready to face all my fears.
Where all these cries of hatred,
will fall upon deaf ears.

Smoke which clouds the trail ahead,
Swiftly and smothly clears.
A wave of a hand, could show us a place to land,
or wipe away warm tears.

A sense above all others,
Past tence, or present stutters,
define what we hide behind our shutters,
and barley spoken mutters.

There is a height which we can reach,
once we decide to breach
this barrier which seems to keep
in these words we wish to speak.

Each branch which may, lay in the way,
can be overcome with one great leap,
as each and every single day,
is one more day we keep
small secrets in the deep.

I'll wait,
Like I wait.
So I wait,
And, I wait.
Give me something
To sedate,
So my hate
Will not break,
Free, from myself,
And destroy you,
Like it does,
Like it has
Destroyed me,
Who I was.
Who I am
Is now ******,
Cause you've scammed
Me, and my mind,
To think time
Is just fine,
To waste.
While I wait,
Like I wait.
And I wait,
So, I hate.

Shifting times -
The turn of a season.

It's a beautiful, and dramatic change
Which slowly envelops all life.

Coercing leaves to the ground,
And coaxing the cold white into making it's first appearance.

This change happens every year before our eyes -
Plants and animals all change their ways
Yet our habits stay the same.

Man does not react as efficiently as the rest of life;
Man does not always notice this vast change
Until he sees the final leaf fall from tree.

The difficulty, in foreseeing impending fatigue,
lies uncomfortably in the presence of emotion.

Clouding any vision of what's not concrete,
like a blindfold, masking anything of curiosity,
from our minds, and our lives.
Making the unknown, a mystery to all.

New ideas will cease to exist,
as everything will stay the same.
Just as love would have wanted.

Solidity in solitude,
and finding it exists.

Compassion in discernment,
where everything, just fits.

You were the first drop of rain after a seemingly endless drought.
The beginning of the end of a barren Era.

After that first drop, the crops began to take life.
The trees seemed to stand taller,
The animals, seemed calmer.

You were the start of everything new.
You were the embodiment, of everything true.

I couldn't ask a thing from you,
Your presence is enough to fulfill a lifetime.

I enjoy hearing the words that you speak,
even if the softest ones, are never said to me.
I adore to see your smiling face,
every morning, in this same, old place.
I crave to feel, the softness of skin,
the graze of a hand, or even a limb.
*Its an endless entrapment,
and I've yet to find a way,
to escape from here, but have the feelings, stay.

I feel your heat, fire.
I long to get close enough to be burned.
I am your observer, you can call me yours.
But you, are not mine.
I am one with the crowd flocked around you.
All of us close enough to feel,
But I'll envy the one you consume whole.
The pyromaniac who fears nothing and walks right in, to feel your all.

Body and mind.
What is one without the other?
Love and trust gone - torn asunder.
This is what one douth plunder
To take just the body, of another.

While all the other girls are putting on their makeup
I am putting on my face.
For them, its to accentuate their already existing beauty,
For me, its to cover up the darkness.

I am my makeup.
Every word I say
Every action taken.
It's all been planned out for whatever eyes may peer,
and whatever ears to hear.

Sometimes, I like to wonder what it would be like to be me.
To see how people would react to my true self,
Would they turn and hug me, or run away.
I'm betting they'd just run.

So I will always be the shadow, hiding behind a face.

Pyromancy, is what I fancy.
Living for heat, and getting burned;
There are few greater lessons that one can learn,
Than to deal with a fire that forever churns.

It's an agonizing dance filled with a torturous dread,
But it will ignite your heart with passion, once you gain a kind of tread.

Dance with me fire, I no longer fear your burn.
Entrance me, desire, show me what I must earn.

Scattered shavings of pencil led
To line the dusty floor.
Sketched art instead of words unsaid
Sleeping behind closed doors.
A sillouette in graphite lines
Surfaces in the dark,
When light shines out and down again
The creature does embark.

I miss feeling wanted.
Back when I knew I was desired,
Before I turned into someone who was acquired.

Missing, waiting,
Wishing, hating,
Spending all my
Time, debating.

Loving, longing,
Always, stalling,
Stand up tall,
Watch me crawling.

What is worth it,
When I can't quit.
I still love you,
But I feel like ****.

Into your life,
I can't fit,
Nor can I crawl out,
From this pit.

I write, you read,
That is all, which I need.
From you, I feed,
I'll go, where you lead.

Plant a flower,
With one seed,
Watch it grow,
Into a ****.

I can't ****,
What I have made,
Even if
It has decayed.

Thou shall refrain from embracing the sun,
Or even setting course, too near a star;
In fear of the heat, exhaustion, and getting burned.

Though in time we all do learn, a trip can be more than but a destination..

It can become a journey in search of love, worth or salvation,
A trip becomes a memory, those memories become a life been lived.
And what good story exists without a point
Of

...Hesitation.

Even if I'm not the one,
you'll come to, every time.
Even if I'm not the one,
who's always on your mind.
I'll be here when you need me,
whenever that may be.
I'll be here when you need me,
I will not be busy.
Even if you can not trust,
with your heart or your mind.
Even if you can not trust,
I'll teach you in due time.
You can always come to me,
I'll share my time with you.
You can always come to me,
with any of your issues.
I'll do my best to help you,
so you won't feel alone,
I'll do my best to help you,
I'll make you feel at home.

It seems to be, so simply,
that I let all that you are, consume me.
For I indulge at the slightest touch,
and I yearn for the day,
but I'd **** for the night.
I let every trouble and worry, slip away.
Finding sweet serenity,
in a face, and mind, so eloquent.
Some days, I think I think too much.
and some days, I think I'm right.

I've fallen back into the abyss,
After swimming in a sea of light.

It's much darker here than I remember.

A shadow drapes itself across my naked body,
Weightless.. yet, heavy.
The shilouetted form cuts itself a share of my light.
Leaving behind a darkness.

Empty space.

Peering eyes, unseen.
I wish this were a dream.