I want nothing more than to touch your heart, but I will never reach for it.

Instead I will build it a sanctuary.
Sacred grounds where none else shall enter - a home of its own.
Where ivy climbs columns, reaching toward the fountains overflowing with love - radiating with purity, honesty and compassion.
With a place to lay your head, and let all worries slip away, to be carried off by songbirds which sing your favorite tune.
Where every plant as you pass by, has flowers dramatically bloom.
For this space, as well as I, would do anything, for you.

I carry this cloak, for home has hidden beneath black linen.
Wind twists through the trees to tug at the fabric. Gusts give a glimpse of the girl tangled within..

As I wander the shale - soul melded with shadow - I feel the stitches fray from fluttering air.
Fearful, for with each stride, my soul seeks to slip free.

Yearning to feel..
Sunlight on bleached skin.

It's never been like this before.
Not as far as I can remember.
Your words, your mind, your voice, your smile...
Familiarity, down to strange details.

The way I feel I can read your mind as you debate an approach.
The way you likely notice me, pretending to not notice you.
Yet we both avoid meeting a gaze as the distance closes...

Smile, greeting, small talk, laughter...

...Touch....

And time stops - if for at least a second.

...Breathe, smile, banter...
A few seconds of silence and I've tripped on the tension.

Quick diversion. depart.

It's subtle, but impossible to ignore;
The way a room changes with your presence.
The way our eyes continually search to steal another quarter second glance - you could say we are both in a trance.
Peering out corners of eyes, just to watch the other.
Nerves that make the body ache, invoking thoughts to make the heart flutter.

In downtime my mind traces lines
around the places I might find
Your existence in my life.

Is it just me, pondering the thought?
Am I the only one with feelings being caught?
Am I scheming again, to find out more, when in reality all is naught?

Let these shadows slip down from the night sky and drape themselves over the earth, leaving the land impenetrable by the light of those distant stars which lay eternally out of reach.

It's time for slumber.

Are they serving you or are you a slave to them -
Those voices in your mind.

Are you leading, or following behind, in your theatre of mind.

Choose your words. Your thoughts. Your path.
Plot them out at will.

Here and now, you make your choice.
It's your life to fulfill.

I'll drop to my knees for you;
You don't even have to ask.
Just let me do this simple task -
let me hear those shuddered gasps.

The season changes -
Warm nights cool off, frost lingers in the morning.
Trees shed their green, while embracing that fading warmth into their tones.
As grasses retreat to the soil, as rivers ice over,
leaves fall from their branches. Letting go.
No longer bound to that from which they grew.

The soil shifts. The mountains crack.
The boulders tumble, a predetermined track.
Nothing solid, stays forever.
All that lives, endures the weather.

The visions blur, those thoughts unheard.
The secrets tended, become lies defended.
Everything paused, envelops never.
All that dies, had once surrendered.

You fell into the darkest space -
A place where sound, was silence
That ocean of murky waters.
Look up, see your reflection
Meet those eyes, staring down -
Take the hand which is offered
Make sure that you don't drown.

I would like to slip softly, kindly, into the abyss..
That sweet nothingness, which cradles all in darkness.

I wish to become part of it,
Letting that cold emptiness entwine itself, into my thoughts, smothering them into decay.

I seek to see no trace left, of this mortality I hold.
To let it drift away on oceans of black, eventually sinking sweetly beneath the tectonic plates.

Erased.

Yes I see these memories,
But was I really there?
Body and mind both there in time,
Though soul and thoughts, were where?

The past a story written down,
The pages in a book.
Photographs on camera roll,
The ones I never took.

What lie in your home,
In corners, undisturbed.
Are there thoughts, feelings, of things unknown,
Or one's that may preturb?
Have you ever felt a draft blow through;
That shiver of regret.
Or is your heart hidden from outside view,
Unseen, by even you.

Saftey in shelter, in secrets kept,
I see you, tall and proud.
I also peer through veil and shroud,
Seeing loss for which you've never wept.

How can you expect, to be love adept,
Shunning all feelings which have crept.

I've fallen back into the abyss,
After swimming in a sea of light.

It's much darker here than I remember.

A shadow drapes itself across my naked body,
Weightless.. yet, heavy.
The shilouetted form cuts itself a share of my light.
Leaving behind a darkness.

Empty space.

Peering eyes, unseen.
I wish this were a dream.

Come out now, I beckon and coax.

Turmoil; twisted and tethered,
like tendrils on my subconscious.

They grip.

It's my only goal to make them slip, unclip, and submit.

I am to wash away all negativity and dismay, to make my world anew by light of day.

In my mind, my soul, my body, my whole; these things I will not let stay.

I will taste the lust on your lips,
For I have watched it linger there.
I will coax out those words you hide in your mind,
For I have seen sentances spark within your stare.
I will bite at these things that keep you contained,
For I also wish to be free from restrains.

Paralyzed with possibility;
These choices stun something within me.
Yearning to grasp what it is I want,
Whilst keeping myself chained. A taunt.

The animal within stirs up a chorus of growls,
The innocence slips past that thought which fouls.

My claws are sharp. My teeth, the same.
I am one who can not be tamed.

Pull the sheets up;
Let's hide under them.

No one can find us here.
Sure, no one is looking, either.
But I want to be with you, no distractions.

Take my hand in yours,
Can you hear my heart racing?

Can you tell my soul is aching?
I want to let it go.
I wanted to let you know,
Because I'd never let it show.

Would you stay with me, after the fact?
Could I share with you the truths of my past?
I don't want what we have to be ruined by that.
I don't want what we have to be ruined by anything.

Is it better I keep my secrets hidden,
That I keep inside where I hurt?
Or do you wish to lick my wounds.

Can I be myself with you,
Or only a percentage..

You were the first drop of rain after a seemingly endless drought.
The beginning of the end of a barren Era.

After that first drop, the crops began to take life.
The trees seemed to stand taller,
The animals, seemed calmer.

You were the start of everything new.
You were the embodiment, of everything true.

I couldn't ask a thing from you,
Your presence is enough to fulfill a lifetime.

Tie a knot in twine.
Stop a thought in time.
Cut a rope, slit a throat.
Floors and walls the blood will coat.

Resist evil. Remain pure.
Do not feed these thoughts which stir.

Drip. Drip. Shiver.
Draw an arrow from the quiver.
Inhale, exhale, hold.

Pause.

Wait.

Incriminate.

Set the fire.
Watch this disintegrate.

Breathe again.

This is what I've wanted.
To slip under sheets and get a restful sleep,
Instead of laying awake, uncertain, unsatisfied.

I've wished to be lost in the comforts of pillows and blankets,
Not left uncovered, uncomfortable.

I've found a new bed
I've found the dream outside my head.
I finally feel alive, not dead.

I miss feeling wanted.
Back when I knew I was desired,
Before I turned into someone who was acquired.

I lie naked before a man in armor,
Who tells me to undress more.
I lie naked. Exposed. Given no honor.
In the midst of a winter storm.

To remain, and sacrifice my mind and body,
Or leave with my skin void of all clothes...
Love is a lonely place to be,
Love may not be a place for me.

There is not a day, I don't wish to be seen
As a woman straight out of a dream.

You come off as tough and unyielding,
And I, a maliable form..
Show me your weakness;
And I'll show you my strength.

I watched you fade away,
At a quicker pace
Than the bruises you left, on my body.

What's revenge,
If not a kiss
Who's pallete ranges, from sweet
To bitter.

If I cry to the moon, like a wolf in the woods..
Would it heed a reply?
If I let my tears drip, as I bathe in the river..
Would the fish taste the salts of my sorrow?
If I exhale a breath into the night air,
Would the breeze even be aware?

Are my actions frozen in place,
Or simply, displaced..
Like the smile from a face.

I feel your heat, fire.
I long to get close enough to be burned.
I am your observer, you can call me yours.
But you, are not mine.
I am one with the crowd flocked around you.
All of us close enough to feel,
But I'll envy the one you consume whole.
The pyromaniac who fears nothing and walks right in, to feel your all.

Scattered shavings of pencil led
To line the dusty floor.
Sketched art instead of words unsaid
Sleeping behind closed doors.
A sillouette in graphite lines
Surfaces in the dark,
When light shines out and down again
The creature does embark.