I feel myself circling the truth
narrowing in on the target
spitting and spewing excuses
like darts ruining a blameless wall
until
bullseye!
I've never been good enough
tears fall

you must untangle yourself
from the nets of my mind
so you too can swim
into the sea of confusion
threw me into cold deep waters
did you know I couldn't swim?
it's easier to ignore the guilt
just do whatever's best for you
I've lost the knife to cut you loose
I'm not even sure I care to
so if you strangle for a minute?
you've already slaughtered me
please leave

"Could you name a shortcoming of yours?"
       and I stutter- I stop
after nights of practice
mindless rehearsing
this should not be the question
that turns me to a boulder
hurls me off the cliff
so I shatter
while bystanders thank their lucky stars they weren't hit
I've named thousands thanks to you
but now
the pain has muted me
"I am shy"
it's a lie

these winter days;

are no longer lilac

no longer tragically, beautiful

now just wrong

the sky, presently grey

mimicking our souls

will never shine again

not like it did before

your hand trembles

as you try to write

they need to know

your lips quiver

as you open up

the part hidden

so meticulously

from the world

floating
on a glass green sea
serenity in spite all

and yet,
serenity is not destined to stay

drowning
as glass turns to shards,
crying out for salvation
dying out
for no one responds

sinking,
with the realization
the sea was never truly serene