I don’t know if you know
I carry you
in an involuntary sigh
in a constant exodus of yearning
and in the frantic deepness of all
nostalgic thought, shaking time and distance
to place me near you
in the closeness of your warmth
remembered

I carry you in sorrow
precipitated
in the absence of your voice
and in the memory of your rib cage molded
in the shape of ardent weakness
my embrace

I carry you, the braille at the tip of my fingers
life drawn in lines on my left palm
and in the carcass of calm interrupted
by the pounding of a heart’s ill-time

I don't know if you know, but
I carry you in the crown of memories consoled
and in the spine of excess
where I fall, between involuntary sighs
defeated
in your skin remembered
from the confines
of the heart

Up and down I go
From high to low low low.

Happy in the day
but sad in every way.

Hurting from the inside out
masking what im all about.

Cascades of numbness suffocating the ecstasy.
The ecstasy you gave and
Took so thoughtlessly.

Bright lights dont dazzle anymore but blind.
Calm water doesnt sooth me now but triggers my fears.

And hope, hope lyes wallowing in the ashes of the past.
Waiting once again for the future to be different.
But hope will die.
Once again.
Hope will be a thing of the past.