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Xeki Mar 26
I think
The real reason my mirror and I
Have never been friends
Was not because I am unlovable
Nor because I am the monster I believe to be
But rather
Its that the eyes of which I look upon it with
Are not of those around me

I realize now that I am blinded
By the glimmers of light reflecting against it
And the dust and dirt muddles the details between
So that I could never see the full picture before
Maybe that is why
I've thought I looked so strange
Compared to others
For so long
You are so beautiful
If only you could see yourself the way your loved ones do
Maybe then you would see what a gift you truly are
Xeki Mar 26
Who knew that the flowers that grow inside my very soul

Would flourish just because you have stopped by to visit

The worms dance at your presence

Beetles follow your muddy foot steps through woven paths

While the snails and slugs cling to your pant legs

Hitching a ride for something glorious to experience

And the leaves of nearby trees try ever so gracefully

To kiss you with each gust of wind

Clouds part way so the sun may shine through the cracks onto your skin

And the blue hue of the sky brightens under your gaze

That's just how beautiful you are to me

My garden groweth over at the thought of you
Let us tend to the soil together
And after the hard days work is over,
Walk with me homeward as our mud-covered hands graze against eachother
Every step of the way
Xeki Mar 24
The things I would do,

The people I would become,

If only had you asked it of me.

The amount I would reinvent myself

For a simple whisper between

Would astonish you.
So what?
Can I not be all that you have ever wished for?
So what?
Xeki Mar 17
How does one do it?

How can you spend your whole childhood
Living a few doors down from your sibling,
Your enemy and your hero,
Your greatest foe and worst friend,
And then suddenly
All at once and out of nowhere
It's over?

Your room isn't the same anymore
The walls are bare and your bed empty
I realize I haven't seen your face in ages
And we haven't talked in months
I wish we could stay just a hallways distance away

In my dreams we are still kids
And just a few doors down
I hate that we don't talk as much anymore

Why does becoming an adult mean leaving who we were behind?

Can't we just stay here a bit longer so I don't forget the way your name tastes as it leaves my lips?
Xeki Feb 21
For you, I would do anything
Ill drape my jacket across the both of us
Lean against you so that you shiver less
Holding your cold hands in my own
Rubbing them against my jeans and blowing on them to generate enough heat
On cold windy days
When the sun decides to stay within it's blanket of clouds
You always forget a second jacket
But I don't mind
Because even though my hands are always cold
For you
I'd always give what little heat I have
To make sure you are warm too
Xeki Feb 7
I need someone
Anyone
To choose me
To want me

I need them to whisper my name in longing
To glance through a crowd in hopes that they might see me there
I want them to look at you
And ask where I am to be found instead
How is the world so full of people to love,
Yet so empty and lonely at the same time?
What a cruel fate
To have a heart weigh so much
But noone to help carry it
Xeki Jan 19
I find myself longing
So very often I am longing
For freedom, to be wild once more
To feel the sun dribble across my skin
Through the blanket of tree branches
And the dew of morning mist
As I pass through the brush
Out there where words are never spoken

I hear you
Calling to me from far beyond this bubble
This place of metal and wires
Concrete and iron and copper
I am caged
In this cold gray place
I know this is not where I am supposed to be
I am an animal
I am to be wild
I am to be free
But still I trapped here all the same

Yes, it is quite the zoo we have made
Haven't we?
Putting all of us on display
Dressing us up in silly fabrics
Fancy toys strewn as far as can be seen
Enrichment just a button press away
I never felt like I fit in a place like this
No, this is not what I am supposed to be

I keep finding myself
Lingering on the border of these two worlds
I can't help but give pause every time I happen to pass by its fencing,
Maybe its not quite a coincidence
That I pass by it at all

But when I do end up there
Teetering on the edge
I stare into the forest
And I see myself leering back
The me that is wild and unburdened
Mud covered feet
Hair long and unkempt
And teeth bloodied and yellow
Nails chipped and worn
I look almost akin to a beast

I feel my skin and bones yearn
My pulse quickening as my soul wails and begs
For what I cannot quite reach
I crave that which once was
And would also never be
I wish to return to being wild
Before words and people and things
Still I am caged here

I am an animal
I am to be wild
I am to be free
But perhaps I am too far gone
That I spent too much time
Became too domesticated
To be able to return to such a thing
Gazing out the window
The sunset calls my name
The trees dancing across the sky
As gusts of wind finds it's way through the overgrowth
Whispering sweet nothings to me
Calling and beckoning me to follow
Your change is 6 dollars and 27 cents
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