oh how i wish
i could be like the other girls
focused on happiness, carefree
but i am not
i am me,
and that is the
exact
problem

When you hit a crossroad in life
Do you take the easy way or hard way

This is one of life's challenges

The easy, is simple, same old life
The hard way ????

What can one say, me
I may be different
I live for different and change

Are you one of those people
That don't like to be let down

Some let downs build character
That can only make you stronger

You never know
That one chance you take
Can make your life

I'm going crazy
Because the thought
of never touching you again
Is killing me

The thought
Of never feeling your warmth
Against me
Is causing me so much pain

I just want to curl up in a ball
And hold myself
Because I'm afraid if I don't
I'll fall apart
Into a million pieces
That no one could ever repair

I find myself with my legs
Pulled against my chest
Because I want to be
The way I feel
Small
And insignificant

I want to tell you
How much it's hurting me
To see you with someone else
But I have a feeling
It won't make a difference

I was broken before
And you're just another crack
Maybe someday I'll find some glue

We fit together like puzzle pieces
You said it yourself
But I guess this puzzle
Will never be complete

Press Play
The world is spinning and if I didn't know any better I’d swear it was ending
Sometimes I still feel like it is
Pause
and the sickness is still there,
throbbing behind my eyelids like waves hitting rocks
time is frozen and I’m forced to feel everything
Play
The world is spinning again but this time in slow motion and I can see every image that ever hurt pass by me,
can feel them being burned into my brain
Rewind
to when it was easier and a couple holding hands or kissing didn't send me into a spiraling vortex of crippling sadness
Fast Forward
to two days from now and it will still hurt but not nearly as much because I’ll probably be high and kissing someone else wishing it was you
Play
but right now I still feel like I’m dying because she’s wrapped around your waist and you around her finger while I’m on the floor in the bathroom dry heaving until I ***** empty pill bottles and my insides rip through my old scars and look me in the eye and spit the truth and I’m screaming louder than I can hear trying to block it out because I can’t imagine a life where I am not her and the room is spinning spinning spinning and the walls are bending like an old bridge in a storm and the floor is caving in and
Stop