I told myself I would never fall in love again.
I hadn’t gotten over the times love had shown me shaky hands so going back into the “playing field” didn’t make sense.
The first day we met I warned myself about you.
The last thing I wanted was another human making 100 promises and not keeping any of them.
And since I could never trust words I shut my ears to the arrows you shot.
But while I guarded for words your smile and touch did the ***** work.
It was the seed that fell on the soil of my soul.
Your smile snuck in while I wasn’t watching and rendered me defenseless and stuck itself so firmly to my existence.
I haven’t let myself get to this point in a while but I must confess one glimpse of your smile and I find myself ready to risk it all again.
Ive doubted almost everything in my life.
But you; and us.. this has gone past the point I can convince myself otherwise.
Even if I wanted to.
Even if I tried.
I catch myself constantly smiling sheepishly at the videos of newly weds on my instagram feed.
In my minds eye Ive seen you in one of those tuxedos,
the ones with cufflinks,
a few inches away 10 minutes after the guests have gone home and we get to begin life with each other.
See,
I knew I was completely finished when I started thinking about my vows.
Thinking of all the many reasons I have to love you.
And even with out you being there,
with out the timing being right or the music playing,
the joy that erupted in my soul was something I’ve never experienced before.
So if this gets through to you,
I need you to know;
there is no one on Gods green earth id rather do life with,
go through hell and back with.
It will always be you.
Each morning I wake up with a pull on my heart and a prayer on my lips.
I ask God to teach me how to love you fiercely enough that you know I would die for you.
While it seems like an audacious thing to say I realized,
how could I love you any less than that?
How can I look you in the eyes and call it love if it doesn’t stir your soul and grant peace to your heart.
How can you trust my loves authenticity if you do not know its willing to give all for you?
How is it love if it doesn’t drive away all the fears you’ve harbored all these years?
It's my prayer and greatest desire to give you such pure and complete love.
The kind only God can give.
I was made for loving you.
I may have a bit to learn and put into practice but God help me,  
Im going to love you so genuinely that the angels will be delighted in taking turns to witness our story.
I will love you so fervently that the Lord will be tempted to hang out love story on the shining walls of heavens gallery.
So put on your seatbelt.
Matter of fact don’t…
Im going to love you just right.

When I think of a love story
I can not help but to think about you
and us.
I think about those moments of uncaptured life and beauty.
Moments the world will never know.
When I think of a love story,
I think about the way our eyes communicate in ways our mouths sometimes can’t.
I think of how our hands fit together so nicely,
like the missing pieces to a puzzle.
I think about how bold this love is.
It isn’t something we have to look for in the fine print,
and this is not just about the chapters that speak of the butterflies that sit in the mystical garden you have planted inside me.
It’s every line that reminds me of the peace your presence brings.
In a world of noise and distortion,
I find peace and clarity with you.
When I think of a love story,
I can not fail to think of this love.
A love so beautiful even hollywoods finest cannot picture.
A story so good that as the pages flip I can not help but pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming.

Before i met you i felt like my world was going to fall apart and i was going to drown in my own self destruction but then you came and made everything alright and the first time you held my hand i felt a heat wave swarm through my body and the first time i walked into that room and spotted your beautiful face my lungs started shaking and my hands were sweating and you were the most perfect thing i've ever seen in my life and when we first kissed i was oblivious to everything around me because the only thing i wanted to focus on was you and i wish i could hold your hand every second of every day and the fact that i have you is the only thing making me feel sane.
-EG

i wanna write her a love song
but i am useless in her gaze
her eyes light up my very soul
and i get lost within the haze

i wanna make her immortal
though i am putty in her hands
i cannot sculpt a single curve
and i am melting where she stands

i wanna be her forever
but time is on her side
and if i managed to wait her out
i'm not the first who tried

i wanna put her in paintings
with colors bright and real
but i am not a painter
and can't make the canvas feel

i wanna taste from her soul
and drink her essence down
but there are finer wines on earth
and i'm not the best around

I will let you slowly ruin me until there's nothing left but a pile of dust that faintly smells like me
You won't recognize me in the streets because I will become something so broken that I blend in with the sidewalks
I suppose you will lock me up like the good liquor and take me out when you please and I will be grateful when you reach for another cup of me because you will have craved my taste
You are not a fair fight
You can hurt me without even being arms length away
I never looked good in black and blue but it seems those are my hearts new favorite colors
I was taught to fight at a young age
Taught to always keep myself protected but when you come around I forget everything about the past everything that I have suffered to learn
Like run before you hide and do not drink your feelings and never give someone all of you- they will always leave you unrecognizable

She was a dreamer who lived in
an insomniac world. Nothing came easy....
every time she tried to begin,
she would stumble and fall, but that
didn’t stop her. Although she thought
differently...her will could withstand anything thrown in her way, just another challenge fought.
The past haunted her days, shadowing almost every move…every single breath. Time always promised to make things better, but she knew better than to find
truth in those words. Truth lay somewhere
far from where she had ever let herself dream, too heavy from all the weight she carried.
There was only one time she let herself lean…letting her weight get the best of her, thinking she could find a way to dream peacefully forever, but even then she failed to succeed.
She lost the ability to hold her world together.
Indifferent to the world, numb to all
emotion, she lost hope in being set free.
The darkness surrounding so great; faith too small.
So she poured her pent up pain,
into artful master pieces.
She sketched abstract obscurities that depicted her darkest of secrets.
She painted intangible thoughts and feelings she longed to be fulfilled with majestic words that put anyone who dared to read, in the footsteps of her soul. Broken and blue she crafted old warn memories into the picturesque landscapes of her wildest dreams. She elegantly danced with the monsters under her bed and gracefully with the skeletons in her closet… breaking free.

number 1: i use humor as a defense mechanism so don't be surprised when you try to show me the galaxies inside your lungs and i laugh like you only have one constellation per breath.

number 2: my OCD will drive you absolutely mad because i can never seem to wash the world off my hands and i'll obsess wondering if i locked the door on my way out.

number 3: these days my smiles are so forced i fear they may resemble that of a serial killer.

number 4: i say "i'm sorry" a lot as if i'm dowsing you in holy water while dropping to my knees praying for forgiveness, that will get old and eventually you'll stop believing in me.

number 5: i have trust issues that run so deep i don't even believe the voices in my own head.

number 6: self medicating has become my only form of survival, you can't help me and i can't help myself.

number 7: i lost faith in myself when i realized faith had no interest in me.

number 8: it won't matter how many times you hurt me i will always come back.

number 9: when you get too close i will leave you with fractured bones from trying to grip you too tightly.

number 10: someone once said "never fall for someone whose palms cause earthquakes on your skin, they'll look you dead in the eye and tell you they don't give a **** and will go back to trying to kiss your pieces back together" i'll let you break me.