Streetlights
Peeking out from the window, illuminating a place I once called home
But that place I left far behind
If only could the wings that brought me there would fly me up again
To be a child peeking through the blinds
Just watching the time go by
Endless waking in the dark, seemingly alone
As shadows crept from the corners and devoured my eyes
Streets where feet clattered like a dream, just a blink then gone
A day back when mother’s door was kept close
A crack through that instead of a face I remember
Streetlights
The one thing that kept me awake through the ever changing windows
A soft light that seemed to have disappeared
A story that faded on those streets where water fell so heavily
A heart full of ink that smeared down those trails
Car rides over plains, mountains and hills
A way I cannot return, and past then will I fly
To only think past on the days,
I wish I would’ve tried
But I just remember streetlights

The laugh bubbles up although the bubbles inside of me are full of salt water
Something that I cannot let free so it rubs against the inside of my eyes
It stings
I want to fall, and my knees threaten to collapse
Just like my heart years ago, but that’s just history
So I laugh with my face in my hands, shaking
Quaking
Thoughts run past me in slow motion, but yet the words cannot be read
Their lips become screaming silent sounds that fall like bombs
Holding my hands beside me, but I wish I could hold it to my head
These rolling waves become tall tsunamis but it hits so… soft
It storms, yet the sound that escapes is not a call for help
It becomes a song that is listed as happy on the ever-changing playlist
I wish for them to know but the words just build up and free themselves inside me
Trying, failing to be
What I want to be before death’s deadly kiss

Clouds over the skies,rain pulls at your eyes
But nothing hurts more than little words turned lies
And these smiles that were once so freely drawn
Became a careful masterpiece of embroidery
I wonder if it’s sadness that chose your eyes to haunt
But in the end, it doesn’t matter if you were blinded
Or if you could see
I could sense when you first drew the curtains closed
And ran to hide behind a door
When all you had to say was help and I would’ve ran back
But that call of help was not part of the story
Weaving too soon, this god at the loom
And this is not the story I knew
The ink is too wet and the old lines live uncrossed
Too soon would I rise with all I could carry
And in the end we know we die
So why grow too old when we can fall from the sky
And in the end we’ll hold you close
Tears before smiles, broken before fixed
A night I still remember
Those little lies, you say they weren’t said
But those cruel letters that were wrote
You were the sender

You cry in the corners of the world, because the spotlight will blind your eyes if you were to step out
You cry in the darkness of your mind, because outside you know nothing else but to hold a smile
You cry in front of the lord, because he is the only one you'll let see your pain
What has this world done to you? What have you done to be destroyed?
How can you still be standing by the time the sun sets, by the time of dusk?
You cry among the stars, and you’ll only cry during storms
So then your tears would be hidden among those of the god

Go, my weary soul, go and rest
Go, my saddened thoughts, go to bed
Close your eyes for a minute or two
Calm your heart that drowns in blue
Go, my lost friend, and look upon the crying skies
Go, my lost god, and find the missing stars by night
Walk one more step along the journey with the weight you have carried
Set your eyes for the treasure, all the memories you have buried
So go, my lovely dear, go and rest
Go, one last time, before goodbye and make do of the best

Words evade me, often on this day, if I become more silent
Then would I be able to avoid my place?
Just one card bought me just half a day of smiles that even I couldn't keep off my face
And I wish I had said something if I had known what to say
Although you don't know, there are many reasons why
And even then, I'll ignore the day and pray for the gift of rain from the sky

Would it be such a bad thing to fall just once?
Thoughts flood, and some are screaming loud
Others will be missed, leaving without a sound
Holding your hands up to the sky, to catch the rain as it falls
And for once, I think you'll sit in silence with me.
But you never made the call

I want to go home, but I'm not sure where that belongs
In my heart, in their eyes, or perhaps no where at all
If only could I lay among the soft fabric of silence
Numbed by any sense of static, some sense of peace
If only could I find that small trace of sanity left inside these walls
But it's time to go "home."

Will you let yourself rest now?
Holding your hands over your face perhaps you can drown the rest out
Some memories will fade, but others will persist
Sometimes, every single thought is screeching loud
But others... You'll simply miss

Paper boats, gliding across an open lake
We never thought it’d reach the other side
A note at stake that we thought would sink
In prayer that so will the thoughts we hid inside
The scent of lemons as we sat by each other
Crossing our arms over ourselves, protecting ourselves like our mothers
Should have, should have held us when they had the chance
But we are far away now
Our tears become kites that we fly up in the breeze
To have some sort of embrace, though rather cold
We know that where we go is up where we seem to be
But even our senses are wrong, our emotions not so keen
The smell of sweet salt dances in the air,
As if teasing our eyes once again
To be met with the cheeks until going down our cheeks
Into our hands in a closet
The sweet tang of lemon as a message is written
Burned, the repeated
Through this cycle that we once called life, a game we don’t care to lose
So once again we watch as the paper starts to glide
But instead of the paper boat so carefully folded
A plan with wings made of a feather sets free among the wind
Over the river, over the mountains, over that lake to what we’ve sent
Where it shall go, we’ll never know
And we hope for the words to drown again
To dissolve before reaching the dear God’s hand
Written of travels over his beautiful, broken land
We hope that it remains unread,
But he read our lips before the thoughts were even said

The birds crow a weeping melody, trees clean of leaves
the smoke chokes the atmosphere, until even us can't breathe
I look upon the weary skies, the ones that fell so far
If only could this one last time I could see the stars
But the babies are all silent, the snow is blood ash-grey
The language that once taught us has nothing else to say
They tell us "Sleep now, my child. Don't worry, it's not there"
They tell us "There's no monster under the bed, no need to be scared"
But they don't see what we all see, as the pin drops in deafening silence
Sure teh monster isn't under the bed, it hasn't been there since
The day that we all turned fifteen, we've long known it was here
Until the smoke cloaks our sight until even we can't see what is near
So the birds crow a weeping melody, trees clean of leaves
But at least the happy fools that brought us here think the air is clean
But everything is falling, as so does the weary skies
Holding our every breath, until even then it cannot help but cry

We often do not
Notice when the small things go
Like one firefly
In the midst of a crowd
Or a star
In the presence of the moon
This story was far from a sentence
But it started from a word
From one thought to another
From pleasure to hurt
But I see as the petals
Start to fall
As the ink
Runs dry
The once rivers
Turned to stone
Like a magic story
That was a lie
They do not cry for you
But I stand at your grave
The symbol of my presence
And the shadow of my pain
I once held you
Like a treasure
But that too
Was gone
How often did love measure
With a rose's love thorn

The day that faded into black, the mist that was thick
Tears that fell from the skies, the people on that list
I know that I told you , but I promise I'm not lying
I know that you don't believe me, but then why would I be crying?
I'm sorry that I hurt you, it's because I cared
I didn't know who to go for, I didn't know but I was scared
I thought I had a purpose, but I guess I'm just tied
I promise that I am these things, I promise I didn't lie
I don't want the day to fall, because then I will too
I don't want to go to sleep, because I might forget you
I know that it's not worth it, but where else do I go
This world is full of places that even I wouldn't know
A place up in the stars that seems to welcome my embrace
A world full of colors, and a world without hate
A world without torture, and a world without fights
A world without words that hurt, the fear of picking sides
Up above I could go, right here and now
Up above I could go, to escape from these words too loud
But fear keeps me in chains, and I know lord: You will question
Why I don't let go of it, why I choose to listen
And I know you see my scars, and me convinced I shouldn't
Believe in you, because I simply just couldn't
When in reality, I could, and I could hold them still
Even when I'm gone with my grave up on that hill
I'll become the night that blew up with color
I'll become the connection between two friends, or lovers
I'll become the air you breathe, and the water that you drink
I'll become the blood that you beat, and the vision that you see
And so...
Tears that fell from the skies, people on that list
With names that dripped from the paper, I've welcomed d*ath's kiss

Your future shines bright from the heavens
I wish you'd see it for yourself
But instead, I watch your sad eyes look back
on pasts and regrets
and also continue on with a smile

Each time I share my words with you, chains tethered onto every sentence unleashed
Held in silence, I can't help but love anything and everything
Life: So precious and beautiful
Like glittering glass on a night of shimmering velvet
Is this unfamiliar thing such a fragile treasure,
so tainted by my hands?

I think of falling, of the ground dropping away--- revealing
The thrashing waters from the storm ahead
I think of holding a breath that doesn't belong to me
Holding arms as tears silences screaming voices;
Until words themselves are lost in the soft skies
and trembling mountains

I broke my rules for you  
       As the sky had broken with my rain
Twice did the swinging bells ring
      Twice did the windchimes sway
Twice were chances given for you to hit true
      But alas, both arrows missed the target
Because both were aimed for my heart
      And silent, bleeding, did I take the bow

I broke my beliefs for you  
      As each line was rewritten in red ink
Burning paper drifted into ashes
      Aflame as the memories started to leave
Twice did the sky thunder into sparks
      Twice did the match fade back into smoke
Twice was the love chained and retained
      But alas, a heart is wild and will escape its cage
And twice, did it return beaten and bruised
      So silent, bleeding, did I take the bow

Cold, and Empty.
Walking the same paths you bore.
The truth comes out, and the story wasn't what it seemed
I hold your hand--- You'll stay right? You swore
But that too won't stop you from leaving

Silent blankets covering your eyes, but yet you walk forward
Is there something that your flailing arms search for?
Blind, and deaf--- I know you can't hear me call your name
Or perhaps you can hear: maybe in my mind, those words remain

I hate the sunset tonight, because today it feels like goodbye
I hate the way it rained tonight,
Because it felt like a scream more than a morning sigh
I hate the way the stars shine tonight,
Because I can fade into time so silently
I hate the wind tonight
Because instead of a soft breeze, it's howling
I hate thinking of your eyes,
Because I see the pain I caused inside
I hate it all tonight, because all said before is a lie
I love the sunset, I love the rain
I love your eyes with all it's pain
I love the stars, I love the wind
Beauty always comes with pain within
So I love the sunset tonight
Even if it's goodbye

If hainess was a thing that I could touch or hold in my hand
It would be the stones by the  ocean and every grain of sand
Under the water, and by it's side
It would be the salt in your eyes when you cried, and you'd realize
Soon enough you tried
It'd be the pebble in your shoe, so you'd stop and breathe
Because this path can go on for thousands of miles, and years will pass by
Take a break, take a breath; You can't walk all night
Your mind will grow heavy, and your footsteps will slow
It's time to sleep, rest your eyes, in the morning you shall go
If happiness were a thing, then maybe it would be a butterfly on a flower
You can try to catch and try to keep it for hours
You'll find that the longer you try to find it, the longer it will stay away
But when you sit at peace, on your shoulder it will come and lay
If hapiness was a thing it would probably be you
Your smile, your life, the way that you grew
It would be your success, your failure, and your experiments
It would be the crease between your eyebrows and that wrinkle on your chin
If happiness was a thing, and if it was you
You'd learn that even the smallest grain in the sand makes a difference too
The rise in the waters, the rain in the skies, aren't such a sad thing
Because through destruction and waters comes spring
Here comes flowers, and trees, and children playing in the park
If happiness was a thing, it wouldn't be measured or held
It would be infinite beyond this life and beyond your head
It would be every spark of a fire, every flare of the sun
It would be every petal on a flower, simply everything all around
But still, we question
What is happiness?

I've left pieces of mysef in every place I've ever been
Under playgrounds, in closets, against the counter:
Everyplace I've tried to forget
Maybe that's why I'm ready to start a new life
Carve a new smile, a new pace over the one that was never mine
In some sort of reality, it's the god collecting those parts of me
Watching me trying to become someone I want to be--- Could never be
Suffocating loud; Where do I go now?
Where do I go back to collect those pieces to look away again
In my scrapbook
Each and every one with a note, but I can't remember where to look

As much as I love storms, I can't help but cower under the clouds
Longing for some sort of bright light to push it away
So I bring down lines and lines upon these weary skies
Silent fog that settles bt atleast now I know fora bit this light will stay And I can focus on which is the right way
Even if it slowly kills me, day won't always seem like night

Missing you is like missing a bird that's never home
Becase simply, I put it to work
Often it flies away without looking back
Bt each time it comes back with memories engraved in stone
Missing you is like waiting for you to come
Before dawn's empty reflection on morning dew
Each time, I remember, but content my own face doesn't flash behind your eyes
Bt now and then, I wonder how you've been

When they passed the paper to sell my voice, I signed it in a second
Kepty my eyes to the sky, the conseqences dire if I broke it
Promises pile up like unopened letters
My own words piling up behind a locked door
But if that's what it took to keep them safe
I guess I would just have to be brave
I watch others fall, and I reach for their hands
They're just out of reach, fingers brushing
Before I watch them turn to sand
Why am I so afraid? Why can't I fly away?
I could never make it far
If I told them what I scribble on my walls in my mind,
Would things become hard?
Would I break things, or again disappear?
Into the silence of the shadows, would I watch them there?
Or would I take back the paper, to watch my hands become free?
But my name is already signed, if that's what it takes to breathe

Those cursed with observer's eyes
watch without sound
in the loud crash of a city's downfall
Although a curse,
those blessed with those eyes
can build kingdoms
with just a look
But silent, they stay

How can one not be wary of the lord's
great skies
but be aware of every grain
of sand among the stores
How can one watch in quiet
as his superiors fall
but jump at the sound of a mere
whisper

Those cursed stand alone,
but yet everyone lies inside their heart
big, but empty
Silent but yet the windows of the souls
showcase chaos
I always wondered why his eyes looked so sad

Some days, I carry my heart in my hands instead of my chest
Sore from being squeezed behind a cage for so long
Finally free, it cries crimson tears; hating me although it knows I'm doing it for the best
"My child," I say, "I'd rather you be locked away than you to break and be lost."

Some days, I would rather live in silence than survive through quick fixes
Some words aren't meant to come, and I'm told it won't last
People come and go, and I want someone to care, but each time I end up with stitches
So in the end, my own thoughts are what I have

Some days, I collect my tears, sweat, and blood
To convince myself that there is something more in society
Spend my days looking at the storm clouds. The only tears I give up
Unnoticed, in the midst of the loud, I leave quietly