I lie
and
I lie
and
I lie

I hide my behavior
to keep you safe.

I keep quiet
not to offend you.

I agree with you
to keep you happy.

I walk on eggshells
for you and
it’s never enough.

I lie
and
I lie
and
I lie

but when the truth
arrives at that
final moment;

jaws will drop
plates will shatter
dogs will growl

and
you’ll be long gone
after seeing what
a ghastly beast
I am

but for now

I lie
and
I lie
and
I lie

to keep us
together.

I watched as your makeup fell
from the bathroom sink
we'd shared all this time.

As it struck, like us,
it played out like a universe birth,
reds, browns, purples...
spraying out in a cone before me.

I've been dead,
cold,
heat-death.

And when I woke
I watched as
your makeup
hit the floor.

We usually say
"step into the light"
when there's
nothing but night
But do we say
"step into the night"
when the light
is so bright
that it not only blinds
but burns out our eyes?

When extremist's
play their games
to blind our
sensitive eyes
it doesn't matter
if they're using
darkness or light

It's all the same
if you're snowblind
or just left alone
in the dark
Whether it's
viral or bacterial
it's still an infection

Feeling our way
in the heavy black air
too thick to breathe
Fumbling around
in the light gray air
too thin to breathe

Caught in the loop of
groping the walls of our
minds in twilight
Struggling to refocus
in moonlight
Then so exhausted
by daybreak
that we sleep it all off
until dusk

Too much darkness
Too much light
Too much cold
Too much heat
Too much pleasure
Too much pain
Too much sunshine
Too much rain
You can have too little
or too much of anything.

If you're not the fighting type
Don't put our hearts in the line

I’m tired of swiping, tired of staring  
at faces I’ll never touch.  
The world feels like a crowded room,  
but nobody’s looking my way.  

They say love’s a battlefield,  
but I’m unarmed, bare hands,  
a heart too soft to fight.  
And yet I keep stepping in,  
waiting for a glance, a spark,  
someone to call my name like it’s theirs.  

I don’t want roses,  
don’t need sweet words dripping with lies.  
Give me the mess,  
the bruises, the fire that burns  
when two souls collide too fast.  
I’ll take it raw,  
no filters, no edits,  
just truth.  

Is it too much to ask  
for someone to stay,  
to look at me like I’m the only star  
in their dark sky?  
Or am I just searching  
for something that was never  
meant to be found?

You call me your dog,
your *****, your fool,
hurling words like stones
to shatter my heart.

I wag my tail anyway,
smiling through trembling lips,
fetching scraps of kindness
from the shadow of your hands.

You call me useless,
a beast beyond learning,
but I only want to please you—
to sit, to stay, to love.

Even as you turn away,
your voice cracking the whip,
I crawl through every wound,
bearing the weight of your name
like a leash around my soul.

For to be your dog
is still to be near you,
and I, the fool,
would bleed to feel you call me mine.

Are you there?
If so,
it's less.

And you say don't plant flowers,
then wonder why we have no garden.

And you say don't call you by name,
then wonder why we've become strangers.

And you say don't give,
then wonder why we share nothing.

And you say don't speak freely,
then wonder why meals are so silent.

Are you there?

Are you?