It was winter when I descended into the river,
Descended to beseech her to teach me about her flow—
On a dark night where beasts and fiends shake and quiver,
Where the only light was her silky, glistening glow.

Upon her arms I knelt humbly as I
Shivered.
Before her majesty, I was struck with frightening awe.
I cried and cried, and with hazy eyes I prayed to be delivered,
And then I heard her speak—
What frightening things she spoke.

Perchance God created this world
For you to bless its ground.
Perchance God, with the love He holds,
Believed that you must be bound.

So He stole all your love
And hid it far from view,
And now you walk the earth
Without feeling in truth.

Perchance He’s in endless doubt—
That one day, you’ll forget
What He did, and what He does—
Oh, it fills Him with regret.

So He fled within the stars,
And to work was He set—
To amend and put to right
Eons of secrets.

For from your love He shall create
Everything that ever flew—
Every red, wine-rich fruit.

And in His need to express His self-hate,
From all the silent tears you abate,
God channeled all His sorrow through—
Creating that beautiful, tender morning dew.

Lowly, all pleasures sink;
No happiness it ever brought.
All joys that you may think
Repaint the pain you wrought,
Shall cling to you and bring
Horrors, woes, and rot.

Woe is you, woe is me—
She passes here at last.
Her voice and her shadow cast
The void that claws and stings.
Her shroud eternal, vast,
She that lives in darkness.

And beauty falls aghast by her tears;
The winding grass dances in trance beneath her marble feet.
Light couldn’t steal a glimpse of her,
Nor day or night dared to bring her peace.

For no moon shines above her head,
And the sun forgot and turned to rot
In her birthplace in the east.

All in shame in unison cried—
Angels and hellish beasts.

For devils could not stain her heart,
Nor soothe her pain, seraphims.

She that cloaks the darkness,
Her eyes that never sheen,
Made of hope departed
And all the forgotten dreams.

She knows every whining
Soul that dared to dream

The binding I know is real ,
A merging too grand to fake ,
Though I hold a primordial fear,
That the bond one day would break ,
You are a dream I will forget
when at last I awake,
And all the balms the psalms the crooked charms
Wouldn’t stop the burning and the perpetual yearning ,
Those hounds biting at my heels,
How far you are further than far
And the further you lie the more I sigh,
The more I suffer in dreams,
And now I stand naked and lonely ,
Gazing high and moving slowly ,
With a thousand ,if only,
No word can be more justified
To hold my silent testimony.