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Today another part of me found weeping
Froze rigid by a fragile touch
Sat beneath a sobbing willow
And didn't ask for much
But to languish in your steady shadows
To huddle where you hide
And when I sigh, it's hope surmising
That you are by my side
Because I loved you
I fancied myself kind
To bow at your fingertips

Because I loved you
I felt myself strong
Enough to break

Your care,
Ever changing,
Floods me inside out

The dam bursts just
from the pinprick of a fracture

And I shatter

Because I loved you
i called you
when texting felt too heavy,
too many words stuck inside.

you picked up.

i tried to hide the tears,
soft breaths breaking through,
hoping you wouldn’t hear
the weight in my voice.

and still, you stayed.
a casket my bed, my morbid rest
I am dead
I am blessed
death; a darkness that roams fancily dressed.
Two flowers of the same seed,
One grows, and the other doesn’t.
Everyone says Flower One is so beautiful and praises it,
But little did they know Flower One
Was pretending to be Flower Two
And was just very good at it.
Flower Two was never talked about
Unless being compared to Flower One.

Emotionless objects, but a deep message.
They follow but never support,
See but never comment,
Hate, then plagiarize.

I’ve come so far but still sink.
Gave too much for half-truths.
I look to be saved from non-saviors.
Stupidity and trust — my greatest weakness.

Time hasn’t brought me peace,
Only made me think about
Every little decision —
The gift of a curse:
My luck.

I’m Flower Two.
Hardly anything on earth is free
Pay the price I paid for you
There's a lot you owe me
There's a price list too
From now on, every tear I shed costs a nickel
Every "I love you" costs a dime
Every little broken piece of my heart costs ten dollars
Maybe I'll be have enough to buy myself back
I can't breathe
This darkness is consuming me
I can't breathe
I am drowning in my misery
I can't breathe
I am blind in this void
I can't breathe
I am being pulled under by something
I cannot avoid
This is a poem that I wrote when I was in a really dark place. While I am much better now, I thought some people might relate and appreciate this poem. This poem even has a rhyme scheme!
Much love,
Bea
I’m always trapped in a cage,
No matter how much I age,
People’s expectations,
My own limitations,
The iron bars surround me,
The cages won’t let me free,
I’m surrounded by my failures and guilt,
It was a cage I built,
But a cage nonetheless,
My soul bleeds pain like pus from an abscess,
Everything I’ve done,
Every failure on rerun,
Maybe eventually I’ll heal from all of this,
But I’m within the cages abyss,
Unable to fully be,
Until my cages set me free,
I have not changed
The same memories haunt me
I have not escaped
The same monsters chase me

The words still play in my mind
The boat is sinking
They have never been kind
I am overthinking

I am not the captain of this boat
I cannot outrun these nightmares
The cries stuck in my throat
My eyes dry of tears

Recovery is brutal
Is trying futile?
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