Timothy Fuller

Timothy Fuller 9h

Sliding, gliding, just a squelch,
Firmer, faster, almost a belch,
Deeper, steeper, I start to whine,
After this I will be fine...

Sharpest thing I could find,
A bullet did cross my mind,
Scalpel unskilled in another hand,
Lethal precision what I had planned.

I little further past the bone,
You try and reach me on the phone,
"Let's start fresh, a whole new start."
A moment late, I removed my heart....

Timothy Fuller 1d

Caterpillar Grew Wings...

Paper butterfly,
I gave you a try,
I made you with love,
Gave you as a dove.

I hope you made her smile,
Brighten her heart a little while,
Made you with care,
Gave you to share.

She owes me nothing,
To my heart I'm bluffing,
Made you with hope,
Gave you as a trope.

"DRINK ME" I wrote,
I feel a knot in my throat,
Made you with passion,
Gave you Wonderland fashion.

Timothy Fuller 2d

My Dear Alcohol,

Oh, sweet American Honey,
I'd drink you and think myself funny,
Drinking you down without a mixer,
American Honey, my tastebud fixer.

Frozen thick in ice,
your bottle felt nice.
Lifting her up once, now twice,
four times, five times, six, oops forgot thrice.

You tasted of all my desires,
the fallen's temptation it inspires,
I miss the way you taste,
worth every pound on my waist.

It's been seven years since American Honey,
but right now I want it..... funny...
Maybe just as a social mixer.....
American Honey, my relationship fixer?

Listening to a playlist... Dear Alcohol by Dax came on... its a cute girl I work withs birthday this weekend... She just casually hinted she was single... I'm not asking her to drink it with her (I'm an alcoholic... I refuse to drink)... would buying her a bottle be a good idea? She's already said she tends to drink with her family on the weekend...

Timothy Fuller 2d

Fiat faith

Firey whip across my back,
Wounds on scars, they start to stack.
And yet still I don't attack,
I'll tell you though, y'all are wack.

Complaining that you are not free,
Saying they took your liberty,
Yet still you all can't see,
You took mine with each fee.

The price you ask for, I must pay,
A fiat dollar, in my pocket it won't stay,
Please just let me give it away,
We all only have today.

You plan for a tomorrow that doesn't come,
Making a dollar a god to some,
Mocking them calling them a ***,
Turning nose and a downwards thumb.

"No one wants your fiat dollar."
I sit here and try and holler,
But who am I? Not a shot caller,
Not even a drug dealing baller.

Just a simple EMT,
Just a basic, EMT-B,
A job I did all for free,
Just to keep you with me.

Timothy Fuller 2d

I need a Good Day

I need a good start,
So I can heal my heart,
I need a good start,
To make me feel smart.

I need a good day,
The one that makes you stay,
I need a good day,
One to take the pain away,

I need a good night,
The kind where we don't fight,
I need a good night,
Just to make the world right.

I need a good end,
That breaks me of this trend,
I need a good end,
So my heart will mend.

I need to be okay,
It's been hard with you away,
I need to be okay,
... Okay?

Timothy Fuller 3d

Talking to People

Empty thoughts racing,
In my room left pacing,
Screaming out "I'm spacing."

BP low I felt it drop,
Heart rate sits 130 top,
Head spinning, will it stop?

With each rising I start to fall,
Who am I left to call,
I've hurt everyone, you all.

Words I said to make a point,
You would think I smoked a joint,
Or was the one God did anoint.

A demon grin upon my face,
All my sins only you can erase.
Yet my heart still you trace,
Welcome to my final embrace.

Timothy Fuller 3d

Run Away Mind

A trip I take,
A dream, I break.
A normal day?
Yeah, no way...

A building anger,
A squeezing bind.
I am in danger,
Inside my mind.

I reach out for help,
My hand outstretched,
I heard you yelp,
My stomach wretched.

I flee in fear.
My world gone dark.
Now, it is oh so clear,
I had let out a vile bark.

My words you mistook,
My tone you didn't know.
My energy is all it took,
So now I should go...

I had a health scare and went to the hospital, I was dismissed and sent home... I came home and my BP bottomed out. I was angry that I still have to pay the hospital after they dismissed my symptoms... So I used the same norepinephrine (I'm assuming, I haven't gone to a Dr because of it) that my body naturally produces a lot of, and which also helped bring me back (with me also calling in my "chit" with the man upstairs) and I wasn't kind to them... I exploded... in my "depression", as I believe you call it, I self reflected... and that's when I started thinking I might have a norepinephrine "dumping" problem... because i was FIGHTING with my words... but I was terrified of them, and in my head, I was FLEEING from them as far away as I could get... but I was FROZEN, as my EMS training taught me, and I still went to work...