I found a book of poems
in a beautiful heart wood chest
And written across its sturdy lid
Was the word "hope", like sunday best

Upon this book of poems
Lay a velvatine writting pen
And vials of ink from distilled life
For writing letters to her friend

When I went to read her words
 I discovered the lock on it
The key she gave that opened her room
Was never the key that would fit

So I put her poems back
I was nothing more than a guest
And with the blood that ran from my eyes
Next to "hope", I wrote the word "less".

I often find myself just standing here and silently watching you as you get ready in the evening. I am always amazed at how truly beautiful you are. How each move you make is like an artist as you put everything in its perfect place on that beautiful body of yours. I take pause as my heart fills with the love that I have for you and I feel the pride well up in my chest because out of all the men in this world you somehow chose me to share your life with. I still don’t understand it, but I say a quiet little thanks to God every time.

I could never explain it to you, but the beauty that you carry has overtaken me in a way that I have never imagined I could ever feel in this heart of mine. You came into my life and showed me what being loved and appreciated can do for a man. You gave me a purpose where I thought there was none. You have made me want to be a better man both for you and for myself. Of all the gifts you could have given to me, the gift of your love is one truly made of magic. I would lay down my life for you and my last breath would be used to say I love only you.

At night, when you’re laying next to me and your skin is touching mine it brings to me thoughts of how it must feel to be underwater to near drowning and to finally coming up to take a life-saving breath. I love the way you give yourself to me with trust and without fear in your heart and how you show me love and appreciation in the fact that you know I would never let anything bad happen to you.

I am truly blessed to have such a love in my life and I will always pray every night that I always have it here in my world.

So as I watch you there in all your grace preparing for a night out together, I smile knowing that every eye will be on you. Every man there will wish he had you and I know no matter how much they may look at you and no matter how much they may want you, it will be me that you come home with and give your love to when that door closes. That makes me feel like I’m the luckiest man in the world. I know that I am because I have you and I have your love.

I truly appreciate kindness.  
I appreciate people checking up on me.  
I appreciate a quick message.  
I appreciate those who ask if I'm okay.  
I appreciate every single person in my life
  who has tried to brighten my days.  
It's the little things that matter the most.

Now Is Not A Time Of Wind And Cloud,No
A Forest Fly's Away The Sky Of Place
Landing On A Moon Lit Shore By The Sea
The Turtle World Sails Far Across And Goes
To A conscious realm, of cars and t.v.
something walks

It breathes memories into my charcoaled lungs
The calluses on my palms
The ever lingering self doubt following my every step
Its heart beats in the herb garden on my balcony
Pulses through my broken alabaster skin
And quakes in the grooves of my cracked ribcage
It sleeps on the folded fitted sheets in my cabinet
Stirring restlessly at the smell of stale beer and fresh tobacco
It awakens with a jolt whenever it smells blood
Its stretching into my pinned back colony hair
Weaving its way through the secret stories
Into eardrums saying "you must **** yourself to get out"
This ghost of my family
Whispering commands into my ears
I am only now hearing it's voice
Because I always believed it was mine
This goodbye is not reconciliation with the voices
It is a resurrection of my own.