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Derrek Estrella Apr 2019
I could lose the coins in my head
Through the act of giving myself to you
Kick you in the heart with all my breath
Skin stripped and shed for you

What’s the word and how shall I say it?
Is it whatever you said before?
I have no one to benefit
But for you, I would clean your floor

I could stay there all my life
I could love you clean from the inside
I’d let you stroke my mind
And hold you through your moans and cries

I’d grasp you violently
You’d teach me how to plead
And I’ll kiss your head
You’ll strangle me to bed

I’ll let you wrangle me to bed
I’ll let you have my brain in my unrest
Wrest control from me
Watch my bliss fill the sea

Truly, we could rule the world
We’d ignite our canopy
Tangled inside entropy
So long as you’re inside of me

I’ll have you, you’ll take me
Earnestly, viciously

Can you hear my tongue?
On the edge of the velvet rung
I can hear your soul
Echoing through countless holes

I’ll take it all
If you’ll let me
We’ll fall under a shawl
If you’ll let me let you breathe
Derrek Estrella Apr 2019
Crack of dawn
On a tar-kissed lawn
The rules of the nascent day
Will have us impaired

Watch the fawn
That was born from the pawn
Who bleeds for his pay
And eats unprepared

Where will she go?
Ask no day, they never know
Over the noon's sickly throat
I am under the looming crow

There is nothing to find
In the joywheel's fleeting time
How will we know when it has come?
What's there to see beneath the ****?

We are so calm and unprepared

I am gone or going away
I am gone or going away
For very, very long
For far too long

She came onto everybody
A ragged and holy fiend
The night could never live again
Life could never gasp again

She is so
She is so
She is all
She is all

Calm and unprepared
How could she afford to be
When she cannot see?
When she is on her knees?

So calm and unprepared

Am I happy now?
Am I happy now?

Common roaches feeding on vintage ceilings
Where one goes when they can't get up to feeling
The inauthentic rust that keeps me seated
There is nothing sacred that is not beaten

Am I happy now?
Am I happy now?
Am I happy now?
Am I happy now?

Where do I go when the winds don't blow?
How will I know when I am owed
All the splendour from this pain
How could anything ease my brain?

Calm and unprepared
We must be
Calm and unprepared
We must be
Derrek Estrella Apr 2019
There was a boy
Who had a girl
And in the grapevine,
Hanging by a pearl
There laid a boy
Stripped free and mild
Four laces entwined
And eyes beguiled

He bicycled
Down from the hill
Grasping a gun
And a feathered quill
He spoke in books
And ailing shouts
‘Neath the moon, he shook
And began to sprout

He said,  “Hush you want me badly, I know
But my lone beliefs are bonafide
You found a love a long time ago”
As he turned, the lover cried,

“I dreamt your call
Dressed in a shawl
I’d lie on your head
In a deathly bed
From dust to rust,
I want the boy
In this I trust,
I’ll love the boy”

He struck a pose
Fits in a frame
He ate a rose
Five hearts he maimed
They pranced around
Their stolen tags
And gave their pounds
For fiery drags

On squandered soil
They lift their roots
Their hands unspoiled
And aim acute
“I want you so
You know me well
But love is sold
'Neath hollow bells”

He said “Hush, you want me badly, I know
But why can’t I call you by your name?”
“This is nothing if you only show
Your incumbent shame”

"I want your call
I’ll wear your shawl
I’ll kiss your head
And lull you to bed”
“From dust to rust
I want the boy
In this I trust
I’ll love the boy”

He said, “Hush, you knew me when? I think not”
As he tended to his burning leaf
“Life is sweet, but it too will rot
I won’t be deceived”

“I want the boy
Give me the boy
Don’t be so coy
I want you, boy
I’ll love the boy
I want the boy
There was a boy
Who gave me joy”
Derrek Estrella Mar 2019
Through our gritted teeth
I subject myself to strife
I cannot steal a pair of jeans
From a call to life
Derrek Estrella Mar 2019
When you're small
You're hard to see and easy to swallow
Derrek Estrella Mar 2019
On a snow-laden path
An ice-caked mat
Innocence will make way for you
Just wait for a smile
Paint bathroom tiles
Dye coffee in vibrant hues

Time may be cold
But sure is his hold
He'll cherish what I never could
Watch your T.V.
In suburban heat
And I will remain in the woods
Derrek Estrella Mar 2019
Melanie of the morning
Sailed by my parapet
She says, “there’s no use in mourning
When the world is your puppet”

Won’t you come through my window?
For my legs feel frail
She says, “just moan like a minnow
And I’ll be in your mail”

And what a lovely day it is
Flowers taped onto a sign
When the sky is an orange wisp
I’ll be by your side

Oh, I long for her
Searing, fading hair
Still-flowing, spotlight fur
Delouse my glare

I spun around in my chair
Until the white walls caved
I’m ready for her stare
To hold me inside a grave

Soon, the bottom of my ship
Will hold gilded fleece
To keep her warm for a trip
Can a sailor only love the sea?

Melanie, Melanie will come to me
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