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Derrek Estrella Nov 2018
What can I be now?
What must I be?
I have lost you, dearest
Though you’ve been gone for a while
What I shall be
To the world’s sea
I will be so for you
Dearest

I will become a figure
Lest I perish
For I am sure you were equally dire
Who else could teach me the dance of a lyre?
And the hymn of a quire?
A debilitating devotion
I have no obligations to myself
Not anymore

Only my labours of love
Will be shown to the world
All because of you, my love
You have given me the reigns
Which I crafted by my lonesome
Then, the nations will extend
To the far reaches of a forlorn nebula
And I will meet you there, soon
Derrek Estrella Nov 2018
Wish I had glowing skin
Wish I had eyes-a-blue
Wish to be an Aryan
Do you want to love me too?
You

Wish I had growing pains
Wish I had sulfur gowns
Wish I could feel the same
As others all around
Me
Derrek Estrella Nov 2018
When I’m late for the party
Will my friends realize
That I don’t need anybody
To gaze at me in the eye

I’m alone in this chair
I’m entranced by my hand
I wear a stop motion stare
Watching Murmillos dance

I watch a billowed Boeing
Waiting for its head to yaw
I hear my matter flowing
But it’s yet to reach my maw

I’m alone in this world
My convulsions hold my tail
I’m still searching for a girl
Should I burn in the hail

Find me in the cinema
Find me in the cinema
Find me in the cinema
If you miss me
Find me in the cinema
Find me in the cinema
Find me in the cinema
If you miss me

When I’m lost in my folly
Will my friends peel off my eyes?
Will they find my reels of squally
Bite and tear at my own guise?

I’m alone in this seat
I am called without a smile
I will fold under the heat
Of the night’s airless mile

Find me in the cinema
Find me in the cinema
Find me in the cinema
Could you kiss me?
Find me in the cinema
Find me in the cinema
Find me in the cinema
Could you miss me?
Derrek Estrella Nov 2018
The mind is- oh, stop. Stop!
My mind is swirling,
Leaking profusely.

Ah. Ah.

Help the deranged.
And the lost.
Amen.

I cannot see my ears.
I cannot see my ears!
Oh, weary wing.
It hurts.
A great deal.

Contrived? This is not contrived.
I am a facade.
Canvas..... canvas. Where?
Where did my brush lie in the moment that has
Escaped me?

I wish: that seeking help,
That, it could be so much easier.
Help with a craned hand.
I spit at myself, for how little I've provided!
To anyone, yes
No one at all.

I. I don't belong! Hey! Heed! I! Don't belong! Here! Anymore!
Derrek Estrella Oct 2018
Breathe again
We want you to breathe again
Acquiesce into our please for life
Your life

Never regress
Into the sick and standard mind
Breathe again
We want you to see again

Breathe again
Spark your mind on dopamine sticks
Just look and taste the eye
And rest to find the sky

Do not be sure
Of the temporal gust of life
Touch your brow
And withdraw from your grievances

Cry again
Learn to be human for a time
Love again
We just want you to function

Lead our way
Ignore your birthing days
Derrek Estrella Oct 2018
As I fly amongst all monsters and men
With the former being the common kind
I find my sanctum inside an oak tree
Quite tall to see a world, not too blind

In nations across, a nation below
Wars are waged, men are hung
As sinful a woman would wait and sow
For their husband in pieces, because I have sung

"What song do you speak?" asks the eager fool
Fair and serene, as my song's painted grey
Not black, nor white, nor prejudiced tool
I trickle innocence, fall asleep towards May

I don't move as leaves fall, dead bark will suffice
As a cold, bitter home, though not quite as your hearts
That would feel content when it treats one as mice
For now they are small, and thus chewed apart

For their colour? Their kin? Their wellness? Their faith?
I've flown above beauty in some diverse place
For naivety or luck, I cannot quite fathom
Why this nation of pastures should spit on one race

A race, so beautiful but starving
For food and water, in a time not so kind
But the poor in the pockets are so rich in the heart
To beg for acceptance, but justice is blind

Blind justice, you say, is blind to colour
Blind justice, I say, is blind to a heart
Of a land of the "free", of one democracy
But in which fair acceptance will indeed, never start

I flew in a town of monsters and men
I bother only with the former kind
The good men were hung, under soil or cement
My innocence, shot by metal led blind


Nature doesn't change, pastures stay green
Nature doesn't change, humans stay green

Fly, youth, Fly
Cry, innocence, Cry
Die, bird, Die
Derrek Estrella Oct 2018
Stay safe for me
Stay sound for me
Stay warm for me
Stay rested for me

I couldn’t stand to see your tears
I could hide you away from fear
I couldn’t watch you saunter alone
I could walk you home

I know I am too eager
I know my smile is meagre
I know I can do better, when due
I know that I love you

Stay safe for me
Stay grounded for me
Stay home for me
Stay happy for me

This isn’t me
This is not life, flee
We are not meant to be
Not happily

Stay safe for me
Stay bound for me
Stay swarmed for me
Stay vested for me

Stay for me, won’t you?
You won’t, will you?
It is not healthy
Simply

You must yield
I am not your shield
Stay in your bed
I have lost my head

I will continue to long
For you
Believe me, you do not belong
To me

But I love you
I do
And I couldn’t stand
To see your tears

Stay safe for me
Stay safe for me
Stray from me
Stay away from me

But first and foremost,
Be safe
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