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Denxai Mcmillon Dec 2015
I'm a squid,
I've mentioned it before in a poem
As we sit side by side
I can feel my tentacles,
Invisible to the eye,
Wrapping around you.
You probably can't feel the suckers against your back and side.
You sit singing whilst you draw
I'm also drawing.
Drawing you closer to me.
Closer to my heart
closer to my love.
I'm a squid
I'm a squid in love
I love you so
I won't let you go.
-Sqid
Denxai Mcmillon Dec 2015
I'm freaking, the **** out.
It's the first really bad panic attack
I've had in a while.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Maybe I'm just way, too, paranoid about this.
You said I have no reason to worry
I need to accept that
But swallowing a saw blade seems easier.
I trust you,
I'm just scared
And today
Waking up when you weren't there
Finding you in the bathroom
Going back to bed and waiting
Just to have you leave
after being back for five minutes
and be gone for what felt like years.
I wish I wasn't so clingy in the morning
****
I'm really not okay.
I have to work in thirty minutes.
Leave in twenty
And calm myself down in ten.
Take me back to 3:10
Take me back to reclining into you
Take me back to listening to music
I'm too inside my head
I'm too inside my head.
I'm way too inside my head.
Save me,
please,
Save me.
Denxai Mcmillon Dec 2015
Sunsets come at four
With the fading of days warmth
My head is at ease.
Don't purposely step on the cobra
and cry when it bites
Half the things people cry about our things they did to themselves
Denxai Mcmillon Dec 2015
I'm twenty-one, I don't really know what I'm doing.
I have direction, I'm pointed the way I want my life to go.
I know life has its twists and turns, that worries me.
The future is beautiful in black,
So that's what it typically wears.
I don't know what it holds, no one does.
I want to know in all seriousness where all the giant squids are.
Because some days that's how I feel.
I'm a big-*** squid in a very shallow pond.
Most days however, I feel like a cat
If I were an actual cat; what color would I be?
Not that it matters.
I bet I'd be a short-haired cat.
Would my cat eat squid?
How can I break my addiction to anime, caffiene, nicotine, and jumping to conclusions?
What would nine year old me do if he found out that in twelve years his best friend would be the only person he hates?
What do you, the reader, think I am?
Am I man?
Or
Am I beast?
What does she see in me?
Why does it feel like I'm always looking into a mirror after a long hot shower?
You know;
When the glass is covered with condensation,
Why am I so afraid to go back to school?
What do I even want to do?
How can I change the people around me?
How do I keep those I hold dear smiling?
I swear I'm happy; trust that I would never lie about that.
I'm just so lost.
Dr. Pepper tastes so good but it reminds me of my old poetry.
Who knows what will happen in ten years, two days, three hours, fifteen minutes and twenty-six seconds?
More over, who gives a ****?
Perhaps this is just my quarter life crisis.
Denxai Mcmillon Dec 2015
I've been neglecting my poetry,
Rather,
I've been neglecting my desire to write.
I'm not in so melancholy mindset,
Not being swallowed by my sullen thoughts.
I'm just at a point where I'm having, too much, fun.
I have had a zillion and three fleeting thoughts but that's neither here nor there.
What I'm saying is, hellopoetry, I'm doing okay.
So don't worry.
Denxai Mcmillon Dec 2015
Sing another song
My acapella princess
Sing me into sleep.
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