motel window.  dusk.
dark blue.  streaking freeway lights.
rain.  empty room thoughts.

I am a fish on foreign land,
flopping desperately,
gasping for air in a world that wasn't made for me.
I don't know how to get back into the water.
I long to swim freely,
to explore the endless sea.

Back when I was a little girl,
If you complimented me,
I would smile and say "thank you.'
I would feel like a princess,
beautiful and bright.
Now,
When you compliment me,
I just look at you,
Brows furrowed in confusion.
My whole world would stop,
suspended in time.
I would feel like you must be lying.

When life falls apart,
Why are my feet glued to the floor?

I fell two years ago,
How am I still falling?