It's ok to be scared.
and it's ok to be mortified humiliated and
is there a word for that?
Rub your eyes.
cry and be angry and

Be.

it's just raw

forgive me for who i am

it's a pandemic panic
i'm just hanging out & listening to
Anderson . Paak
what about you?
i've got the red cabbage & brussels sprouts roasting in the oven
with a little salt and pepper & olive oil
it's going on in my house
dancing  in the kitchen
the heater's on
no one's f*ing with me tonight
what about you?




.....

"It was my sister." She said, after losing her mind.
"Sister sibling." I said.
I smiled.
And so did she.

i sit and i try to eat and i sleep and i drink and i think and i look at my feet and i can't help but shake up my
soul
i listen to music and i dance and i cook and i tap my fingers on the table and i look at my nails and don't eat the
food
i sing and i sing in harmony to myself and the sound on the radio it's old school and it's new school and it's good and it's bad but when it's good it's pure and
warm
it's winter so the heaters on and the slippers are snug and the gin is spicy and cooling and hitting the spot in the full moon no moon dark and
light
i think of the love that isn't and the love that is never found and the love that is and the love that just
isn't
i've got the music in my head and the lyrics in my head and the words repeating all at the same time singing speaking thinking and it's all
silence
the owl is still and the orange tree is still and the tree of life itself is still and the beat repeats repeats repeats
re re re r r (glitch)
repeats


....

i wanted a solid ground
but i don't have one
so i dance on my feet lightly
with absolute passion