you don't know me
but you won't speak to me
for whatever reason
          it's been decided
     we aren't friends
     we aren't friendly

Why?

Am I so easy to hate?
     to ignore?

Why am I so easy to not want?

you're laughing with your friends
     and something
          about the sound
               pierces through me
I think you're laughing at me

I don't know why
     but it bothers me

I pretend
     not to care

about what people
     people like you
          think
               about people like me
If there are other people like me

I guess I don't get a chance
to show you that your judgment is wrong

shouldn't I dismiss you as an *******?
     for dismissing me so easily?
          but my heart is aching
               for an answer
                    why
               what I've done

the people here don't like me
but they won't just say it to my face
they'll whisper it to each other
     as I walk past
they'll laugh it through my chest

I am craving being known
     I guess I don't get that option
no one wants
     to know
          me
no one
     wants
          me

and maybe I could sleep tonight
     if at least
          I knew why.

I don't know how to trust
Your handsome good intentions.
To be honest,
     they scare my bones.

You must be patient.
If you come too close
     Hiss.    Scratch.     Run.

I hide in the bush,
while you put out a can of food.
And I will wait
     until you are safely inside
          before I eat it.

You must play this game with me for weeks.
Slowly trick me into trusting you.
Move too fast and I will never come back.
But if you go slowly, one day
     I may eat out of your hand.

I do not claim to be worth the effort.

Sometimes I try to rhyme
When I have free time
To spare on little details
And leaving behind art trails*
Evidence that I exist
That'll last longer than a fist
In the face of the things I hate.
I'm always running late
(A bit of a common trait)

I could dig a hole to change the world,
But what good would that do?
So instead maybe I'll just try
To have a lasting impact on you.

You and I are nonproductive.
There will be no house where we'd live.
We will not be star crossed lovers on a book cover.
There will be no pictures of days spent together.
No rings on our hands
Or ancient rituals with family and friends.
We'll never get a cat or a puppy.
We'll never have a child. We won't even have three.
You and I will never result in a single thing,
No, nothing.
Which seems like a waste
So I decided to
turn us into
a poem.