always counting
the ways i could be better
(-1) lesser voice, (-1) smarter things to say
constant reassurance
of why i am enough
(+1) seems stable, (+1) showers almost every day
daily working
to prove myself right
(+1) constant patience, (+1) being productive
breaking a cycle
of crying at night
(-1) hating myself, (-1) not wanting to live
odd how,
wanting so desperately to be someone
i've forgotten
what it means
to be myself
will it stop?