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167 · Sep 2020
acceptance
Dawnstar Sep 2020
branching out into the universe
a solitary butterfly learns that
pestering God won't turn him
back into a caterpillar.
sometimes our wills can only go so far
165 · Aug 2019
14:23–14:26
Dawnstar Aug 2019
heavenly signal
as his wife's car left
and the church pastress,
a lurch of sad grace
which struck a dead horse.
"don't go, please don't go!"
but the whip came to bone,
the horse wailed alone.
164 · Jul 2021
Be 't
Dawnstar Jul 2021
In sorrow, failure, tragedy or wist,
'Tis comfort that makes me a *******.
My neck hurts from the tics I do,
My eyes resent the strain I put them through,
My brain, at war, breaks down the hopeful side,
Discouraged that it ever had such pride.
I miss the one-days I found happiness,
Before my mind decided to regress,
Before the glooming days, like this;
Before the pain made me a *******.

O angels calling all around me, hail them!
No doubt they know the diverse ways I fail them.
Myself I fail, and all the world. It floods
Like Barbary in Noah's time, when bloods
From angels' ***** became extinct, and then
The land once ruled by giants fell to men.
Since men are giants now, they cannot stand
The presence of a pest upon their land,
Producing naught but tearful sorrows pall.
They fear my rise, that I might doom them all.
Dawnstar Feb 2018
Sitting cross-legged on a salt pillar.
The threads of fate entangle
My last vision of a unified parade.
Red-powdered shame.
My hope is gone,
So, without Keening,
I pass this task to someone braver.
I/IV
163 · May 2020
pep band
Dawnstar May 2020
pep band night
hornsmen file out
the rival team to fight
162 · Jul 2021
im not an arachnophobe
Dawnstar Jul 2021
but i appreciate the service of
turning spiders into bears
i thought that was really kind
Dawnstar Mar 2019
Let me collapse restfully into your arms,
ourselves a bundle of tindersticks,
waking wooden wagons warm.

Neither sorry nor shattered,
only curled in fever
and sunset bliss...

I want this,
in the depths of my core;
I know light,
despite what I try to ignore.

Like gravity you weaken me,
and make me sink each day,
until there is nothing left
but my heart, exposed above the mess,
the rags of filth, the bands of flesh
that made my head so sway.

Till sunlight goes,
we'll think on those
forgotten notes
we longed to play.

Dreaming in risers
of distant delights,
never to surface because they are worn,
themselves neither sorry nor shattered;
merely a feverish hope, singing
pleadingly from the deep:
Let me collapse restfully into your arms.
162 · Feb 2018
Nunc et semper
Dawnstar Feb 2018
I haven't a way
to repay,
I say,
to match the bright
and glorious day
that forever washed
my sins away,
for now and for all time.

And each and every
blessing hence,
I've found no need
to recompense;
for now, my heart
lies on the fence,
for now and for all time.

All I'm asked
is what I have:
what constitutes more
than I need to live;
but what I have,
I refuse to give,
for now and for all time.

So I'm selfish,
so I'm foolish,
so it has been since my birth;
when offered all
the wealth of Heaven,
I value more
the things of Earth.

But if I won't take heed,
and swiftly adjust my creed,
then I'll bear the weight
of lifelong greed,
for now and for all time.
161 · Jun 2019
Undeclared Beauty
Dawnstar Jun 2019
To mention is to men
A thing forbid by woe,
Though beauty seems to flirt
Like first November snow.

In golden coffins then,
They dye the draggled corse;
Their hearts so often hurt,
For silence they endorse.

The truth about her beam,
A daughter should not know:
That sedentary gleam
Sets hearts and eyes aglow.

More wondrous is the dream
Of special moments shared,
When under every seam
Lies beauty undeclared.

Be hush and still again,
And never let words course;
Keep failing tongues inert,
Lest meanings well turn worse.

And though she stands overt
With grace upon the low,
To mention is to men
A thing forbid by woe.
Dawnstar Sep 2019
Need you not my life to hear:
I was born, now I am here.
If few words disinterest thee,
Cut the limb and leave the tree.

Will you jump to laugh and jeer
Something slim or slight or mere?
Tales without a finite end,
Records played out, year by year, is
All I have to offer, and to
You, who whistles troves of them,
Heaps of wool 'twould be to shear.
Why pay mind, when all I wrote were
Songs of a resolving note?

If but one would come sincere,
I would, glad, delight their ear.
I would start to weave a thread,
Then my life would seem less dead.
But, as prying faces peer,
Wherefore I remain austere.

So there's nothing more to see;
Birth and death defineth me.
I was born, now I am here:
Need you not the rest to hear.
159 · Jul 2021
(don't) come and get me
Dawnstar Jul 2021
anything that i do
running without assurance
i'm riding, riding
on my own

all the faces i see
caught up in the currents
they're gliding, gliding
all alone

this train is pulling south
and i guess it's best
to let me go

don't come and get me
don't come and get me
oh no

so far away
the land is cold and hot
i can't believe
what i see

this is the culmination
of all those restless thoughts
i'm stranded here
goodbye tears

this train is going south
and i guess it's best
to let me go

don't come and get me
don't come and get me
oh no

...

i have to say
i'm having second thoughts
this place is not
so friendly

i felt so sure
the truth is i forgot
what happiness
you bring me

this train is going south
and i guessed it best
to let me go
but you said you
still love me so

come and get me oh
come and get me oh-oh
come and get me oh
come and get me oh-oh
(please!) come and get me oh
come and get me oh no
i can't go

anything that i do
running without assurance
i'm riding, riding
on my own

so come and get me
please come and get me
oh-oh
a song
157 · Jul 2021
elves in armor
Dawnstar Jul 2021
elves in armor
with their magic devices
screens of power
and power entices

let loose the storm

send out a message
i heard the report
you don't need pixels
to keep you warm

let loose the storm

if i had a feeling
i'd send it to you
across the cosmos
no cell towers in view
pick up this warning
take it or leave
cast aside everything
you thought you'd need

WHEN THE STORM BREAKS:
mercury will come and go
our favorite prophets will fashion a new key
as our terrible secrets start to glow
a million children escape captivity
now the messenger birds
perch on the arms of the saints
with intuition and hope everlasting
but for those with dark hearts
in darkness they shall remain
till they can smile at an eagle in passing
a song
155 · Dec 2020
new years' eve
Dawnstar Dec 2020
snowpiles won't move plows
as much as eyes move plows
i feel like floating over snows
in every dream i seem to be

home is a far-off place
a black silhouette
of an urban mountain

i will journey today
and cross the threshold into night
with you this sleep i'll spend
transit
no fare i offer, sorry
no fee did you demand

above the blind vanes we want to rise
not beholden to time's winds, like
incorporeal beings

and have the hopes of the world
as stars pinned on our refrigerator
each of them keeping us warm
in the voyage from
midnight to midnight

the clock will strike
the sun will fall
the world will stall
in a moment
a pale moment
surrounded by our visions
ribbons of a bright future

tomorrow
nothing will change
as we fly towards ryukyu
our last journey

but my world will exhale
as the days get longer
and sun-up again, stronger
and somehow this comforts me.
Dawnstar May 2020
if the products of your despair
are relatable enough
they can make art
154 · Apr 2020
pound
Dawnstar Apr 2020
stop giving me news
pulsate my rhythms differently
cities and urban life

i read your views
and all i hear are hatters
convinced of their own greatness

fox worm
shine on down

from.
Dawnstar Jul 2021
islands wide the ocean comes to close
mouthing off to nature's maid in wait
deep violet horizons overflow
strike the stars and spill the walls of fate
out in Canterbury, crests of red
cocking o'er the faithful clapping crowd
meat one tired soggy seaborne head
drolly shaking hands and laughing loud
life goes on, one stupid span of time
life persists without reason or rhyme
153 · May 2020
kindness&betrayal
Dawnstar May 2020
warm palm
backhand tattoo
cold cheek
152 · Jul 2019
our springing
Dawnstar Jul 2019
when floods rage in the summer breeze,
our springing is forgot;
and then there'd be no others, we've
already cast our lot.
Dawnstar May 2020
in like lions and out like lambs
you ride the burgeoning tide
and hold the world-cross
in your hands
in your hands
made of fine and polished clay
what you offer i accept
what you say i must obey

counting dreams and memories
leaping high while sitting still
in my bed i am fine
until
the buzz of a nagging bee
reminds me
there is one who loves me still

all good things come in threes
so i venture to write a third
verse, without counting
any line or any word
so as not to be drunk on ink
but solely focused on an impression
an obsession
which has been growing and now
looses itself from rulebound chains
to love you as freely as any
green field born child
151 · Mar 2018
inelegant expression
Dawnstar Mar 2018
I hate my mouth
when it spits
each impulse
of the lazy brain,
but you I envy
so much, because
you take that dreaming
and make it pleasing
and pure. and worth.
and I can’t do that....
that’s the way I want to turn.
all my words make little sense,
even these are like the rest,
even these I want to burn.
insecurities about my own poetry, as well as my thoughts, words, and ways I express myself in real life.
151 · Apr 2020
oaao
Dawnstar Apr 2020
the moment you were born
a quasar shed its form
and starkly breathed the essence
of purple effervescence

bringing
to the rafters of heaven
a joyous song's occasion
together
150 · Dec 2020
when you
Dawnstar Dec 2020
when you
got a promise of gold
some things
more than others get
old
stay out in the sun
it all seems to fade a-right away

tell me
what do you see
in them
that you can't find in
me
well, life isn't fun
i just wanna fade a-right away
a song
150 · Feb 2018
bubbling
Dawnstar Feb 2018
bubbling,
babbling,
brookling,
i'm charting a course
for your sundries.
take it upon me --
no --
take it upon yourself
to watch me glide,
and fall,
and smack into a tree-
Ow! (watch out, George!)
that jungle stung,
but a tree's like
a ladder rung
as a tambourine
is just a drum.
now by my preaching
don't get irate;
we're not supposed
to gyrate.
148 · Dec 2020
naturabsence
Dawnstar Dec 2020
what is wrong?
i ask myself
and always say:
i'm far from the mountains
that cradled my soul
i'm far from the rivers
that carried me home
i'm far from the grasses
i hugged on the plain
i'm far from the islands
i won't see again
since i've the vital strands of nature left
no wonder 'tis my heart that stands bereft
147 · May 2020
pale pianist
Dawnstar May 2020
how am i still getting used
to your mourning elegance
even after so many breakfasts?
how many times have i
thought and forgot
about what matters most
and left our stomachs
growling cats
at the foot of a jungled coast?
147 · Apr 2020
again down lays he and
Dawnstar Apr 2020
and he lays down again
after raging and slamming his brain into a bed
something muted, absent observant words
objective words, perspective words
can never quite encapsulate

that raw emotion all feel always
intangible
like the jaw-taste of vaughan
the van jazz neon net
(an album his father kept)

young hearts and their dreams
exhausted muscles at their seams
scream
scream
scream
into the wake of venus
and still bleed even with the advent of therapy

and he lays down again
147 · Jul 2021
to think i were at leisure
Dawnstar Jul 2021
to think i were at leisure
to wear plaid cylinders and
pineapple socks
my home a sanatorium
gilded with emotions
insurmountable

i languish under
their whip on my back
a weak will
my god and my psychology
murmuring tsk-tsk at me
my father wowing at
Mumbai's torrential rain

oh wey ey ey

to think it was so easy
to not be half surprised
you took me down a level
and shook me up inside

you took me down

i miss the kind of moments
that make
me
stop and think
and wonder how it was
that i'm so close to you
i feel this way because
you're insurmountable

and i languish under
your whip on my back
a weak will
my god and my psychology
murmuring tsk-tsk at me
my father wowing at
Bombay's torrential rain

oh wey ey ey
a song
146 · May 2020
i'm a child
Dawnstar May 2020
i'm a child
of the ocean

i'm a child of the waves
where nighttime is day

i'm a child
of uncertain parents

all i hold is my head
all i hold is my head
a sequel
145 · Feb 2018
Flat-Bellied Sandsurfer
Dawnstar Feb 2018
Flat-bellied sandsurfer:
        Go away from our kingdom!
        We didn't ask for an apology.

Slime-coated worm:
        There is more at stake
        than your pleasure.

Broad-lipped tonguecow:
        Your reckoning is come!
        Now see your deeds brought before you.

We revel in your
faults and failings.
It's refreshing
to hear your
salted wailings,

With
        every
lick
        of the
             knouter's
whip
          upon those naked ceilings.

Blood runs high on Valsabar,
drips down in the
steep valley of cravens –
more news to our ears,
as gravel to our spears,
and our sandal skin
will swallow up
your sand-shriveled
water hut.
145 · May 2020
singular hopes
Dawnstar May 2020
even if nothing arises
from the smog of a
million desperate minds'
hopes and beliefs

even if the world is
cold and without soul
and reality is
just what we see

enjoy those thoughts
those beautiful thoughts
if just for their sake
at the least
144 · Jul 2017
So Long
Dawnstar Jul 2017
Cutting out across the plain
A chill wind and a tear
Turning my back on El Paso
Nothing is left for me there
142 · Oct 2018
yellowtree
Dawnstar Oct 2018
yellowtree yelling
at stalwart stacks'
thick black clouds.

yellowtree dying
under smogspace
frowns, drowns.
141 · Apr 2020
chair quarantine
Dawnstar Apr 2020
my legs daily grow stiffer
as i descend deeper into
philosophy
which is a kind of madness

maybe by the end i'll have it all figured out
but this i doubt
140 · Feb 2018
mellowly air
Dawnstar Feb 2018
mellowly air's so clear:
she is not there;
once she was near.
138 · Apr 2020
Untitled
Dawnstar Apr 2020
shoot me if i must wait
138 · Feb 2018
may you flow ever longingly
Dawnstar Feb 2018
may you flow ever longingly,
sweet purple stream, carve
a canyon
through my barren valley,
while i stir up the galaxy
and moon for you.
137 · Dec 2017
Glencoe
Dawnstar Dec 2017
At Glencoe,
Where in centuries past,
Blood ran red on the snow,
Now wrapped in the quietude of summer.

The highland ridges rise over layers,
And sprawl into distant mountains,
Along the grim valley,
Ploughed by ancient giants.

The wanderer finds solace
At a bubbling creek,
Among the jagged rocks;
On each side, they ***** down,
Over shadows of green and brown

A humid chill blankets the sky.
The singing of birds is absent from this place.
The thistle grows where it wants,
And moss sprouts from among the crags.

All corners reflect an apparent emptiness,
Hiding any trace of human touch,
But the winding valley speaks in its own way,
And tells a story of desolation.

Alone in these remote wilds,
The wind carries away the echoes of forgotten ghosts
To the heathered isles of the west,
Or eastward, to the lowland dwellings.

But no reply is heard.
The steep walls silence their voices,
Their cries float eternally over the shady glen.
An ekphrastic poem for an art project.
136 · Feb 2018
i want
Dawnstar Feb 2018
i want, said
a man
satisfaction got he immediate
day got he quick
without going through
dawn, got the lift up
skyward, never had
to work for a piece
so all men know
he's standing pat.

please,
another man said
was halted
found himself crumpled
broken-ribbed on her
fleshy bottomglass
stretched out
squished insectly
half of him went
with her, she reveled
in his missing half
slow pining gusts
they shook
and trembled
they whimpered beneath
a disgrace that was enough
to call himself counseled
but not enough
to call himself
a man.
134 · Aug 2019
The War is Over
Dawnstar Aug 2019
Take off your shoulder
Your rifle and mortar
The war is over!
The war is over!
Take off your shoulder
The banners and
Rockets and targes

We're stirring the best
Of a fine hurrah,
We fought till the last
And we won the war,
We're spirited now
To home on bonny barges!

The lanes of home
Will be all aglow
When we get home,
When we get home,
The lanes of home
Will be lined
With many people

The mothers and fathers,
The lasses and lads
Will shout for joy,
And dance and be glad,
While church bells ring
Returning in the steeple!
song
134 · May 2018
Pleasant Morning
Dawnstar May 2018
Sun-wine on a fair Venetian morn,
where pleasant friends arrive
like fluffy clouds, the sky to adorn.

I tip the bare bronze cup of constancy—
in mirrored movements alive—
and I render new health to the company.
I obsessively changed this one a few times. *shrug* Editing is a process.
133 · Jul 2021
lately
Dawnstar Jul 2021
sometimes
i feel that
all my dreams have been rusting

sometimes
i wonder
why am i so disgusting
a song
133 · Apr 2020
familiar faces
Dawnstar Apr 2020
people always pass away
seems this truth will never change
those whose faces burn in mind
sudden endings leave behind

i thought they'd always be around
i never thought their suns would down
but, worst of all, what makes me cry:
i never got to say goodbye

now i fear of growing old
living with the newer mold
swimming in a sea of hate
against the hurried current's fate
schools of fish that can't relate
to memories shared and friendships rare

take this sad reflective sigh
let it make a last goodbye
to those i loved and knew
with whom i lived and grew:
at the going down of the sun
i will remember you
Dedicated to Chris Thompson, who died too young Sunday in my hometown.
129 · Jul 2021
and should the mountains
Dawnstar Jul 2021
and should the mountains, flush with royal haze
be scornèd by the choosy pauper's gaze
then i would look without critique or qualm
upon those soft-brushed lazy hills of calm
with beauty shown in shades from teal to rose
how elegant the slopes lie in repose
not wanting to shrug off their foggy cloaks
but wrap those blankets tight round pines and oaks
in safety from the world i lie alone
among the green immortal mounts of home
a wanderer above the sea of fog
a pilgrim knelt before the seat of God
128 · Aug 2017
The Last Outpost
Dawnstar Aug 2017
The icy sea to the north
And the frigid Pale to the south
At this god-forsaken outpost
We alone stand guard
125 · Jul 2021
do hold me
Dawnstar Jul 2021
do hold me
do love me
don't say die while
thinking of me
take me in
as i am
as you have
it's all i wanted

you're my rock
i'm your ledge
i'll lift you
over the edge
but don't look back
you'll tumble down
stay on track
keep me around

take me on
your sweet way
as you have
it's all i wanted
make the difference
anyway
save my world
from being haunted

oo-oo-oo-oo

deep
is the death
i discovered
in your room
and deep
is the breath
that i take
before my doom

i know it could be so far away
but fate is up to you
i wanna believe i'm more today
i don't know what is true

so i just have faith in the things you do
i just have faith in the things you do
i just have faith
in the things
you do
a song
Dawnstar Apr 2018
A graceful girl combs my heart,
And skillfully plucks my harp.
It's more difficult to breathe
Than to let myself love her.
121 · Feb 2018
Nine Days
Dawnstar Feb 2018
Nine days have left me
hardened and without hope;
giving in to indulgence,
sprinting for the hangman's rope.
Letting threads crush my neck,
cowering gladly in the dirt;
as my poor lungs fill with sweat,
eagerly embracing hurt.

But if I should decide within,
to blindly turn away from sin,
my past be calmed,
my saber drawn,
and warily,
once more,
I'll begin.
120 · Jul 2017
Ode to the White Wolfe
Dawnstar Jul 2017
I visited your page,
Like it was of use;
And although you did not
Seek to amuse

I couldn't help
But laugh that day,
At all the worthy dreams
You swept away.

"A brother,
A team,
A United States Marine."

Such a shameful rendition
Brought me to tears;
Cab could really croon
In his younger years.
Dawnstar Apr 2020
slick sentences afford me frisson
yet i'm not sure i like this chill

feels pretentious esoteric
not vital nor sinful nor ill

one seasoned word of calm
captains fifty voices shrill
114 · Nov 2019
Halves
Dawnstar Nov 2019
I'm half a man
And half a child
Half times tame
And half times wild

One half strong
And one half weak
One half bold
And one half meek

Friday: cold
Saturday: warm
Sunday: whole
Monday: torn

I know, I know
Like bull from calf
I must outgrow
My lesser half
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