Stones splattered with mud,
the night cold upon the earth,
barefoot, I walk on muddy, cold stones
I miss the scent of your perfume,
whose fragrance drives me
to bleed myself out.

A fleeting fantasy,
an outburst of love
radiant as Greek myth.
To wake from the haze of sleep
is no simple thing.
My butterfly has flown away.

the dreams that leave me behind your back,
love in autumn,
and lying on brittle leaves.
There’s a long road to reach you,
and with every dawn,
I wither away, thinking of you.

I wish to retreat,
perhaps to a cabin in the woods,
or, like Iris Murdoch’s hero,
to settle near the sea…

It has been so long
since I have felt true solitude.
I long for that silence
that only it can bring
to sit in stillness
and listen to my own thoughts,
to cook only for myself
and savor each single bite,
untouched by the street’s noise
that might disturb
my quiet comfort.

Trees nourish hearts,
and I dyed my hair with the paint of their bark.
Like in Chinese fairy tales,
I don’t eat bird nests
that’s how I learned about such dishes,
probably from Pippi Longstocking.
I heard about bird nests as food from her.
It’s cold now,
so I decided
to make a sauce with vegetables
just to warm up the chill.

One winter, I noticed a migrant black crow,
arrived from a distant foreign land,
from my balcony
it was sitting and watching the gray crows,
who were hungry, since it was morning.
The black crow looked strong and calm.
I wondered
was it hungry too?
But it sat apart,
its feathers shimmering
like black satin.

The car windows lie back into the rain,
yet the rain keeps soaking them again.
This process
and the squeaking of the windshield wipers
is my favorite.
In these moments,
I dream of heavier rain,
of a longer traffic jam
so I wouldn’t be able to go back home.

In the rivers where there are many fish,
the paths are winding.
The fisherman longs to get there.
Fast rivers are more dangerous
like unfulfilled dreams that we have forgotten.
Every morning, the fisherman goes out to fish,
dreaming of reaching those depths.

I remember those nights when my mother read me fairy tales,
I would fall asleep in clean white sheets,
dreaming dreams
outside, the wind swayed the branches.
Back then, nothing felt as fairy-tale-like
as the morning
that began with pearl-colored
milk.

It rains, and children, in rubber boots,
walk into the deepest puddles.
It rains the grass grows wet,
and my feet burn, for they are bare.
Rain is most beautiful in the mist,
and the pains our bodies feel
as the rain approaches
vanish with the rain.

the color of cinnabar
bluish-red fluid spills,
reminding me of a pearl.
I loathe that one day,
somewhere on Perovskaya,
in some bar.
I hate every foul memory
that tastes like blood,
like rust.
A city
where hot wind blows,
dust clings to sweaty skin.
You sit on the stairwell, endlessly tired,
and tears won’t fall
the antidepressants have made you
forget how to cry.
You haven’t wept in so long
not even for the things
most worth crying for,
when once
you could cry for an hour.
Vile summer!

small fantasies,
melted candles,
the taste of starch,
the smell of rotting potatoes,
a blow
to the sore spot
Achilles’ heel.
children of sin
tread a steep cliff.

Boiled plum jam,
and the wind took away my hat.
In the morning,
when I spread black plum jam on toast,
I remember the taste
of the sweetest love.
Just boil the plum
and sweeten it...

Maybe the weather will change,

A break in the cycle of climate’s flow...
Let the snakes leave our homes behind,
The ravines where chill and dew combine
To burst into fresh, green tender leaves,
And maybe coolness will return with ease.

The water in the wells still cold and deep,
My grandmother can draw it, secrets keep.
The trees will soon shed all their leaves away...

A top circle  and altogether a different dimension,
high heels and not quite obscene...
You are the misalignment of status,
worthy of the path of light,
yet the bearer of a hopeless platform
a train discarded into a dark world,
with a faint desire for love.
Hell is on Earth.

I will drink a ****** Mary
with the aroma of tomatoes,
turn on my plasma TV
with useless news
nausea takes hold of me,
and the sand unfolds...

What could be a better feeling than the need to eat, though everything is tasteless until you try blueberry and berry ice cream at the girl’s house; you think maybe you won’t leave and instead sit on her couch every day, eating this wonder slowly…

On this leather couch you feel such comfort that you want to stay; you want to tell the girl, “You must be a witch,” and at the same time take her onto your lap so you do; the touch of her body scares you at first until you feel her soft breast in your hand, “You surprised me,” you think.

You might believe in Shakespeare’s deadly love, you might fall in love with this long-haired creature. You still taste that berry flavor in your mouth, and after leaving the house you buy an unhealthy Red Bull; you remember your grandfather saying it’s better to drink wine with him, and you laugh recalling how she had stumbled into the bathtub naked and drunk…

Maybe you could feel love, too.

can you be written as Byron?
To travel in time and revive his thoughts,
maybe you too are great like him,
oh Lord Byron,
your tempestuous and raging mind,
like a rose planted in the ravines,
thorny and unreachable.

Tall cliffs covered with tiny yellow flowers,
a sky painted violet,
and the scorching sun of summer.
We walk to the spring to drink fresh water.

Teenagers are swimming in the little river,
the shade of the trees cools the water even more.
How delightful it is to be here
as if you are filled with love.

A gentle breeze touches your faded hair,
making you forget all sorrows,
even the most painful ones.

Your child walks ahead already grown
You still see the cliffs, along whose edge you both follow the path.

The fisherman, even in dreams,
stands by the city river, rod in hand,
waiting with hope,
watching others on the opposite bank.

And in this dream he catches
the largest fish  a trout.
He thinks: Such a species no longer lives
in the city river

Perhaps he will let it go,
or show it to his friends across the water.
He thinks: It is truly beautiful.
At last, he realizes it is only a dream.

He wakes, rises from bed,
prepares himself,
still thinking of his dream:
Maybe today luck will smile on me

In the heat of summer
the river’s breeze will dry his sweat.
Once more he looks, with hope,
toward his friends.

If they gifted you an artificial flower,
it doesn’t mean they don’t love you,
it just means I will stay with you forever,
thinks the lover…

It carries the scent of pure elixir,
and if you don’t burn it,
you cannot silence the “me” inside them.

Red red red,
artificial artificial artificial,
roses roses roses,
in a white marble vase,
until nausea
artificial…

Fly away black bird, perhaps you'll encounter a carcass or someone kind will offer it to you.

You'll hide in the dry bushes with food, Your black feathers will flutter in the wind, satisfied and full, your body will heavily descend again to the ground.

and when night fell,
I drew heavy curtains over the translucent ones.
With my mind, I gazed somewhere into the black sky
I thought I too might glimpse
a bright star
that would announce the birth of a great one.
The seas shimmer blue
somewhere in the darkness.
At its shore,
a man strokes a woman’s long black hair.
Oh, darkness has descended.

Somewhere far away, deep in the forest,
animals dwell
some hide from predators,
yet more dangerous still
is the rifle of a hungry hunter.

He returns home with prey,
switches his plasma TV
to the Discovery Channel,
slices the animal’s flesh
to feed himself.

He sets the table,
eats,
and at last,
with half-closed, weary eyes,
lights a cigarette
the final act,
before locking the door
and collapsing into sleep.

He
inhales his cigarette deeply
he, with cold feet
he,
his voice hoarse like Tom Waits,
he watches a Britney Spears reel
where she dances with knives.
He,
reads the Odyssey
so he may read Ulysses.
He,
falls asleep
and in dreams
he calls my name.