I think I should
disappear
for a little while,

hide beneath rocks,
sleep on park benches,
let the world forget me.

I’m throwing all
my effort
into nothingness

it offers no response,
no echo,
no hope.

Tired eyes,
a heart in despair,
waiting.

You must
taste me first
to love me

like I’ve been loved.
Oh, how I
need love now.

I wonder how long
consequences
will shadow me,

grappling tight
to the hunch
on my back.

Nothing is deserved,
or do I know
I deserve better?

When will a
hungry man
find rest enough

to stand,
to provide,
to believe,
to want?

Jesus, why am i like this?
Why does nostalgia run
Through my veins like
It should be there,
If the feeling leaves,
I would probably miss
It too.

Back home,
lying down after a nightly walk,
the sky transforms,
a ceiling lit with holiday fireworks,
a web of little light bulbs
that flicker into shapes,
I see a a kite, and a smaller kite,
things unseen in the dim of the city.

Yet, I still feel lonely,
in the city,
Or in the corner streets I once knew.
I rise and walk
towards a home I once called home.

Each step, heavy with melancholy,
Some share the rythm.
Hands buried in my pockets,
holding on tightly,
somehow,
to my heart.

A thing I hate,
But it’s in my fate.
To love,
To be loved.

A thing we can’t explain,
Something so mundane.
To love,
To be loved.

A thing that’s always there,
Even if you feel it nowhere.
To love,
To be loved.

A thing that moves the world,
If unfurled.
To love,
To be loved.

A thing we all desire,
Hot as burning fire.
To love,
To be loved.

A thing that hurts so bad,
It makes me sad.
To love,
To be loved.

A thing that feels so good,
Something I never understood.
To love,
To be loved.

A thing that has two sides,
Can move the tides.
To love,
To be loved.

A thing that’s never seen,
It feels like a dream.
In the end,
It is your friend.

The ship goes down again,
And I go down with it,

Pummeled by opposing waves,
I linger.

Another pair of eyes,
Another warmth against my skin,

Another strand of hair
My hands have traced

Built castles,
And demolished them.

Turbulence,
So much turbulence,

I drown
In this everlasting feeling.

Yet, I reach for the surface,
Moonlight just out of my grasp.

home cooked dinners,
Fresh cinnamon brownies,

Just out of the oven,
A last minute road trip

Your hands, my hands,
Your lips, my lips.

Another soul
To miss.