Heaven moves
with
grace and
purpose
across
your eyes,

like a
sea house
light
bringing
wayward
ships
home from
sea.

and when
I look
into
them

I am
safe,

and held
harmless
against
my fears,

in this
moment

I breathe
deep of
you.

and your
candy kane
taste
smile.

wether
you are
near or
far.

I am

here.

and you
move
in me

like a

fire.

You look at me and shake your head saying without a sound , everything is to be implied

I return the effort made while digging up a shallow grave ,"So what if it's in the middle of the night ?"

And the Sundays fled and the eagle flew off with the cat

So don't tell me up and down that everything is going ginger right

Now if rain could change a name , make the letters wash away

Or if you could choose your place in time , do it now so you don't have to stay

But what it really boils down to is does it really matter if it's in the middle of the night

After all having nine lives didn't work out so well for the cat

In the
birth of
the morning
light,

I would hold
your smile
with all
of my might,

all of my cards
of life and
fairy tail
dreams
on the table.

for you
to turn
over as
you wish.

I offer
to you
my scars to
heal,

and I can
see that
in your
eyes.

that forever
begins with
this moment
now,

your laughter
like
sunlight
as it falls
over me.

and I
am warm
I am
vulnerable
to you,

and for the
first time
in a long
time.

I have
so many
questions
of myself.

of this
first meeting
this first
hello.

and Santa Barbara
is in your
eyes,

and now it
is there
that I
forever want
to be.

There is
a rapture
in your
eyes,

that takes
away
everything
else,

and then
makes
everything
else new
again.

there is a
familiarity
in your
face that
greets me,

like the
breaking
open
of a
poppy
flower
in a
fall field,

and the
moment
that it is
experienced,

it is
never
forgotten,

it is
to be
held
only once

and then
it is
gone.

I am
the dreamer
of such
things
of nature

of you.

and you
illuminate
my life
which
such beautiful
things

that I
am a child
to walk
your fields

I am
a child

amongst
your
stars.

and for
that I am
truly

grateful.

.
Quiet! Shhh!
Can you hear it?
The animals are talking.
No, they are panicking.
Can you smell it?
The Forest is on fire.
My Forest is aflame!

I run, following nostrils singed with heat,
against the tide of the fleeing fauna.
Reaching the blaze I see....
eight of them.
My anger rises and erupts.
'STOP!' I bellow. They turn and draw swords.
My eyes narrow and a look of pure disdain unfolds.

I continue.
'I am Rook, Lord of the Forest Kingdom.
How dare you, enter my domain with no permission
and reek havoc on my Forest'.

A step is taken, toward me.
The eyes of a fighter glower, at me.
The point of a sword raises, threatening me.

I punish.
'For your transgressions and your destruction
you shall stand as stones, for eternity,
and as a warning to others'.

A scream pierces the air as a foot,
then another, compresses to rock.
The rest join the chorus, agony,
as each become statues,
twisted and contorted as
the Ancient Oaks they had destroyed.

My Oaks.
This is my Anger.
Would you care to see my Love?


© Pagan Paul (2018)

I don't think I know
where to begin or
where to go
How to leave chance behind
how to change perceptions
how to treat my own mind

I don't know
why I have this need
to share and to show
Exactly where I stand
ever spilling heart in hand

I don't know why
I keep asking for truth
from strangers only passing by
Same old retreat
numbing sadness on repeat

I have no idea
what to tell you now
how to make myself more clear
How to leave and how to save
how to make my feet behave

I'm a glass full of shards
a peculiar collection
lots of shiny unknown parts
I don't know who I am anymore
I don't think I knew before

I really do wonder if I am just going to be like this for the rest of my life or if it's just a very long faze
I've wondered this for years
always thinking
"well next week will be better
next month will be better
next year will be better"
and it's not
I've been so unhappy lately
the kind I can't quite put my finger on
I know I've been lonely
and feeling insecure lately
about everything
my looks
my job
my relationship
my son
my car
Etc etc etc
I honestly have days and weeks where I feel unstoppable
I could handle everything at once and not blink
but then all of those highs crash into deep dark lows and I feel too weak to climb back up