Even when I'm simple you turn away,
I am sitting here telling you I'm not okay,
Turn your head from my cries if you’re mean,
These things I tell are something, they are keen,
Understand that you’re not there for me,
Paying bills is not the key,
I cry to you, of all I care,
So much I have had to bare,
No pity please, I want none,
But I'm not liking the shun,
You always disrespect my heart,
Irresponsibly shooting a missing dart,
Hello there, please remember me,
I need attention too, can't you see,
Denial fills you, in your mind,
Thinking you are so kind,
The love I feel, but not the attention
Is any of this comprehension
Listen to me, here me out,
Be there when I begin to cry out.

1
Screams in the night,
Sleeping all day.
Yelps of pain,
And cries of anger.

****** torture,
Mind disruption,
Soul disappearance

Tears in the light
Screams in the night.

2
Terror through and through,
Scared thoughts of pain.
Living in sadness,
Then despair,

Life drained.
Dark appears.
Nothing left.

All taken and blue,
Terror through and through.

My momma taught me to be early at the airport
She taught me how to prepare for court
How to dress for an interview
And to pay bills before they’re due
I learned a lot from her
The list goes on for sure
How to throw a punch
And to always pack a lunch
Organize and keep your stuff clean
Carry with you anything you might need
My momma taught me to have passion
Also when to fold and cash in
Good things here and there
Small bits when she was able to care
Most importantly though
I learned emotions not to show
How to care for a grown adult
And how to hide emotional assault
How to duck under an object thrown
I learned to grow up on my own
She taught me much and taught me well
How to let go of heaven and live in hell
To follow all her commands
To believe her words and mental scams
My momma taught me to go numb
God forbid I let my anger come
I had to let words fly by and disappear
Bite my tongue and always stay clear
Of the things thrown or words yelled
I couldn’t be me so my feelings I shelled
Closed up and shut down, I bow
My momma taught me how

I am grateful for what I’ve learned
To let go of everything I yearned
Nothing for me, myself, or I
I crave attention now, I wonder why?
I am searching to be a Queen
Not to rule, I just want to be seen
Look at me and what I can do
See me, hear me and I’ll show you
What I know and how I learned
Understand me for I have yearned
To be supported and guided through
If only back then a way out I knew
If only I had gotten out before
A successful life I could adore
A peaceful mind without scare
I could actually feel and care
Instead I am numb and closed down
I am being held until I drowne
Suffocated by my past
Pain that continues to last
Through adulthood and life
It affects me now a mom and wife
I am broken because of you
Because of everything I learned to do
I had to let words fly by and disappear
Bite my tongue and always stay clear
Of the things thrown or words yelled
I couldn’t be me so my feelings I shelled
Closed up and shut down, I bow
Because my momma taught me how

Excerpt from ‘The Wind on the Downs’
"That you are round about me, I believe;
And knowing you are happy; should I grieve?
And when I leave the meadow, almost wait,"
(Continued by Dani Massey)
For you to show up where I have placed the bait.
Love is keeping me here as long as the day,
Coming back until I have your say.
This is something I need to know,
Did you want to stay or want to go?
Give me all my prayers to read again,
So I can fix them in permanent pen.
Let me know so I can think of your face,
And not cry, but remember your grace.
Show me you can feel no more pain,
Show me that I am truly sane,
And that I am right about that place,
Because I know you can see His face.
The perfect peace you surely can feel,
I know that is part of the deal.
It will be a while for me, my turn I have to wait,
For the privilege to see the perfectly pearly gate.
When my name is called I know I am ready to go,
But your choice, I need to know!

It taunts us
It frightens us
Like darkness in day
Like shadows that slay
Swells of the ocean
Swells of a black potion
A true death
A true last breath
Murdered by aspiration
Murdered by suffocation
Your own creation
Your own demolition
Screaming loud to be heard
Screaming undeterred
There is a ray of light
There is sun in sight
Air is on the way
Air without delay
More than a word
More than what’s heard
Keep up the fight
Keep away fright
Shove darkness away
Shove death to obey
Breathe and climb up
Breathe to fill your cup
Joy is what we need
Joy will get us freed
Come on now
Come and bow
Only to the light
Only a continued fight
For it taunts us
For it frightens us
Don’t give up
Don’t give up
See the joy ahead
See it and darkness shed

Like the broken glass of a window
Shattered to pieces
A million bits laid out for show

Sweep me up and throw me out
Please don’t
I beg, I scream and shout

I promise to shine in the sun
Sparkle in light
I’m better than what I’ve done

I am not trash to be swept away
I am more
Hear me and what I say

I will not be the glass as before
I cannot be
But a new creation to love and adore

See me in the glistening light
Uncovered
The darkness I’ll gladly fight

Broken with no return to past
No not true
I’m breaking out of this cast

No more restainsts or darkness
I tell you now
Don’t be so heartless

Let me try to do better
I swear it
I won't be a scarlet letter

Like the broken glass of a window
Let me shine
I want to rebuild, so please don’t let go