Ocean blue
Washing over me
I feel pleased and relieved and at ease
I close my eyes and see my childhood memories
I feel the nonchalance of my young self's naivete
Only in God's presence can I truly release
The strain of this flesh and
the push of society

I used to watch National Geographic all the time
when I was a kid
Sometimes I would watch deep sea divers
I would imagine being a deep sea diver myself
when I grew up
Now, I've yet to deep dive in a literal ocean
But I've recently been deep diving into the
Realm of spirituality

I see
Darkness and Light
In this realm
Sometimes,
my heart becomes curious of the darkness
It wants to understand what is concealed
What is distorted, what my eyes can't easily
perceive
But a call to Light is beckoning within me
It says
Get out of darkness, confusion, deception.
Truth resides only in the light,
It is Open, and never hidden, as darkness hides
Darkness is heavy, it weighs you down
You try to hide it,
But it's visible on your face
Light is buoyant
It brings you to the surface
It brings you life, Light fills you and
Renders you Alive.

I am your jungle;
You slither all over me,
climbing my trees,
suffocating my roots.

You've taught me
walking graffiti is
not welcome here,
So I do not know
why you keep me near;
I defy all your rules.

Let me be street art
for everyone to admire,
but let no one walk me;
I am a dead end.

I will capsize you,
I will exhaust every
molecule of yours
until you miss the excuse
of a heart once residing
in your bones,

And you will know how it feels
when your hands still
clutch at empty air
because I will not be there.

- Crimsyy

Today,
I just want to exist
without the burden of
a million things plummeting
on my shoulders...
I think life has driven
existence to an airport,
I think it told existence
to fly away,
and now life for living organisms
tastes like decay
and airplanes feel like
a death sentence;
not even up above the clouds
can you find peace;
gunfire and chemicals will still
find you even when you are
10 thousand feet in the air...
Today, I just want to exist
without the burden of fighting
for my own survival
but how could we possibly think
that a ceiling alone could protect us?


- Crimsyy

I got elbowed in the stomach
At 9 o'clock tonight

I was working
And the woman
I was working for
Stole the wind
Right out of my lungs

And I bit my tongue

And I swallowed blood

Which tasted like
Rusted metal,
Salt water,

And acidic anger
Burning in my gums

I don't get paid enough
To feel like my ribs are breaking;
Trying so hard not to cry
I'm literally shaking

Well, ****,
I have no one to talk to

My best friend called
An hour later
To tell me all about
The party she's going to
With kaylee and alexa;
She's dressing as Crown Royal,
I don't know what that means
And I don't ******* care

She doesn't ask how I am
And I don't tell her
She doesn't really wanna know
And I don't really wanna say it

There's a distance

A fluctuation in her voice
That reaches a place
My ears can't get to

I don't hear her sometimes
When she talks about the things
She loves

And I don't know why

Why I'm so disconnected
From twenty-two

I'm not above it-
I like to think I'm not beneath it-
Maybe just floating somewhere
In the atmosphere that surrounds it

My boyfriend is much prettier
Than anything my hands have ever held
And his voice is softer than
The blanket I bought Kiernan
On her birthday,
The one she doesn't use...

He's really deep
When he's sleepy

He makes no judgement
When I'm angry

He isn't coping
With his condition
Lately

But I've never coped with mine
So who am I to mention

I guess I'm just feeling weak
I'm just feeling kinda hazy
I'm just feeling sorta empty

I'm just feeling

Feeling

A little bit
Too much

Feeling

Maybe
Just not enough

I saw Anne Frank's journal,
In the back of an acidic club.
The colors were blinding
Bodies upon bodies,
I feel sane.
Fulfilling every craving,
My tactics come pre-rolled,
I follow the sound of the drug.
My hand is cramping,
From glass shattering knowledge.
And the stoners dance once again,
Slowly beginning to rap in Norwegian.
I love you closely,
One day we'll be together.
I'm talking about the city of course.
Or maybe myself.
I'm rapidly transforming
And the rest of me is melted.
I'm happy.

All those eyes face upon my movement like a circus monkey,
Laughing at the uncontrollable flailing of my arms and head.

How could I express my embarrassment of so many entertained by my misery,
Like the stabbing of needles around my whole body.

So much movement and sound moving in thousand beats per second,
"And this desire to release sensory overload by hitting against my head."

This solitude of being alone is overwhelming,
And I wish I can convey my deepest emotions.

Only if I can communicate my world to you,
And tell you how I feel.
To dream like you,
And have many aspirations.

How could I express these thoughts to you,
I am a human being stuck in a different body!

Please be patient with me,
Show me the right way,
And I will show you my deepest thoughts,
My dreams.

I want to **** myself.
Why?
Because
I
Want
To
LIVE!

He said, 'I can watch your dedication but not your duty,
With tight lip I stood there making d morning more silent...
He said, 'You love your work because your respect beauty,
In a blub way I resumed with Adam lily calmly to nascent...
He said, 'I love these flowers because it is a symbol of peace,
I inhaled d fragrance with a woe thought that it is also a symbol of love, He said, 'Which is d thing I swine the most'? ? ?
Turning my face n saying, 'The plucking of flowers, will it cease'? ? ?
He said none, looked in my eyes with my problem unsolved,
It is a reason to smile, same time, I am groaning cause its branch is my stove, my life of worst...