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As I sat in church today,
Couldn’t find words to pray.
Because dear God—if You still hear.
Look down—we’re filled with fear.
You could change this. Couldn’t You?
Just one breath—or a spark or clue.
You are the reason why children still cry,
Why unarmed, hopeless people die.
And there still are wars down here,
Not enough reason for cheer.
I find it really hard to believe,
This is what You would wanna achieve.
Sorry to say, but that’s why,
I believe You are a very well-told lie.
I feel like believing God helps, but God doesn’t.
All this jewellery,
What for can it be?

Earrings you got at birth,
What are they worth?
They are with you
Always

Exchanging friendship bracelets,
The expectations it sets.
Best friends
Forever

Necklaces from family,
Might not know what you see.
They’re still there for you
Truly

Engagement and wedding rings,
More than beautiful things.
Boyfriends, girlfriends—lives entwine,
Becoming husbands, wives in time.
I guess what I meant to say was: everything has a meaning
Can’t shut my eyes
Can’t miss a sound
Even if it’s lies
I want to hear it—I found

I catch titles, labels
Can’t stand that
My head is wired with cables
But I feel like an acrobat

Balancing between
Either being unheard
Or unseen
"Politics" is just a word

But it makes me grasp for air
Whenever I hear it voiced
Perceive it as if I am not there
Yearning to belong and be rejoiced

Nevertheless, I pay attention
To all the names and surnames
I feel a tension
My brain’s on fire, I can’t calm the flames
This is about hearing all the complaining about the current state of Dutch politics and listening but not understanding ('cause no one explained it) and also having a very bad fear of missing out
 Jul 9 Khoisan
Shawn Oen
I’m Sorry for the Storms (Now I See)

I never meant to bring you pain,
Or leave you standing in the rain.
But battles raged inside of me,
Fought in silence—PTSD.

The scars I carried, deep and wide,
Became the things I couldn’t hide.
And in the chaos, love got lost—
You paid the price, you took the cost.

I shut you out when you reached in,
Not knowing where to even begin.
I didn’t deal with all the weight,
And let the damage complicate.

But I’ve been facing what I feared,
With help from those who see things clear.
The professionals, the work, the time—
They’ve helped me climb out from the grime.

I see life now through steadier eyes,
Past all the pain, beneath the lies.
I see the good, the things I missed—
The warmth in your touch, the love in your kiss.

I’m sorry I couldn’t be the man
Who stood up strong, who calmly ran
To meet you where you needed me—
I wish I’d fought more fearlessly.

Still, every flower that I gave
Was born from love I couldn’t save.
Thousands bloomed from something true—
My heart was always full of you.

And I would give my life, still now,
For you and him—I made that vow.
I wasn’t perfect, but I tried,
And though it hurt, I didn’t deny.

If time could turn, if hearts could mend,
If grace could let old wounds transcend—
Just know I’m here, and heart sincere.
With open hands and vision clear.

© 2025 Shawn Oen. All rights reserved.
The mirror never
saw me cry.
All my tears are hidden
deep within
the vaults of my heart.

Only happy tears
rest in my eyes
and fall down
when my lips smile.
 Jul 9 Khoisan
Immortality
Hidden garden,
owns its beauty,
flowers blossom,
our feelings intertwine.

Evening sun
kisses your glow,
deep eyes shine,
your soft smile flow.

Your hand in mine,
I wish forever.
sweet love note hidden in a garden....
Blossoms are the
Hopes and dreams
Attached to the thorny
Stems of life
We all have to climb
To smell the roses
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