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Like an anthill I was, at birth.
The sprouting of a tree not yet mighty.
The trickle of a river not yet strong,
but within my mind were dreams.

I thought to myself...
When will I flow?

Every touch,
every word,
every color,
every note,
every taste,
was another grain,
another pebble,
another boulder,
another hill,
another expansion to my range of view.
And though I could yet call myself a mountain.
Though streams wove their ways from my eyes,
fresh springs of tender breaths,
trees rooted deep enough to whistle in the wind,
thoughts beginning to form,
I still spoke the words,
“When will I flow?”

I caressed the clouds and their silvery charm,
hugging my neck, like heavenly trinkets,
a beard of trees splayed down my chest and back, like emerald robe
and
ah,
rivers, splashing and bubbling and whooshing and running,
like naked children tumbling down from innocence,
giggling all the way
until they learn that the world hungers for blood.
The clouds at my neck are a vice at my fury.
They blacken like mists of soot
and crackle and moan.
They roar and spit fire upon the earth.
A tree splits and becomes a beacon of wrath, a torch
setting other trees aflame.
Oh, all nature is the same.
There is a time for peace and for war.
But when the flames settle.
When my skin is charred and creviced.
Then sprouts the green fingers of spring.

I am the mountain.
I command the seasons.
The winds are my whip.
The Earth is my chariot.
The clouds are my helm
and lightning my sword.
Guardian or warlord?
Lover or slaver?
Is it an illusion?
Am I at the whim of the seasons?
Does man define my beauty?

Thence comes the answer.
I flow.
I once flowed into me,
Growing strong, I was the mountain,
But the flow is leaving me now.
What leaves me is what I can do without.
The flow becomes my power.
In dying, I gain control.
Strong is my pen,
my word masters the sword
and
for every beginning
there is an end.
This is me thinking about age
and everything I can be with time
and all that will be lost to the ages.
I surf through a crowd,
click, click, click,
am I slick?
Am I sick?

The faces cascade, each one like a molecule
in a waterfall of desire and liars and fire.
Do we sit here to burn or to yearn.
Do we ever learn or feel concern.
It seems I will never tire to conspire
against my own soul on this wire.

I'm wired.
The screen crackles a strange glow.
The bits and bytes tell me there's hope.
Ones and zeroes like so much knotted rope.
I hang on her every word,
oh, my shame is ethereal.
I want to stop seeing her,
but my hunger is serial.

She whisper's, "But wait...
...
...
...
... there's more..."
and I die to be born her prisoner.

In lust we trust,
the internet anthem,
the trumpet of the millennia
our senses abandoned.
The cascading fire, behind the screen,
the ache inside: my mind? my spleen?
I must be rotten,
how could I not be,
their alluring words and forms,
imprison me.

Can I break free? Qui-qui? Hehe!
It's a total lie, there is no greener grass.
So I hunger for more of the poison that made me;
I seek to drown myself, like a manly baby,
"Gimme more! A little more!"
They stand in shock,
then retreat to their bottles,
ignoring the ticking clock.
Back to her and her and her,
the ones who will never love me,
who've ensnared me to drain me,
me and me and me.

There are different kinds of blindness,
many we will never be ****** enough to see
but when the blinds are open,
can we really change what we see?
Do we come awake to a ruin,
a festering, aching, screaming lump of chaos
that we are but fingers to... this abomination.

I surf the crowd
and when she comes again,
I'll just change the channel,
and a new face materializes,
her beauty renders me thirsty
I smile my sleekest smile,
I recite the uncanny words,
"Mirror mirror on the wall."
So, despite my words in this poem, this is not just a sort of commentary on online relationships. This applies to many of the unhealthy relationships we engage in on a day to day basis, stretching back into our earliest memories and forward unto our deaths.

I can only hope that this poem will help people who might be fighting their conscience to consider some powerful self-reflection.

Have a great day :)

Enjoy!

DEW
If I close my eyes
Will life speed up,
Or will this drowning nightmare disappear?

If I stare longer into peaceful space
Can I take the place of that shining star...right above my head
Free of pain,
Free of aches,
Free of paralyzing thoughts,
Free to touch the skies?

If I close my eyes under falling rain
Will it wash away all the purple hues from my bruising skin?
Will the bruises vanish
Leaving me untarnished?

I will trust in You
While you're holding me
Bringing me to WHOLE
I will someday soar
Under golden skies

Once again to run
While the miles shrink
I will pass this trial
I will conquer all with YOU by my side
YOU will keep me strong
Help me face this thunder as I hit the floor

When
Tomorrow comes making all brand new
My body shall heal, so that once again I can run through rain washing all this pain
I will run through fields,
Fields of marigold, the scent of HOPE
Replenishing my soul!
hope* healing after a horrific car accident* under His protection//marigold...because they remind me of my childhood -my mom had them everywhere
Dew
You
Can't
See
My
Tears
In
The
Rain
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