love used to be lovely and beautiful now comes the nervousness trouble for cuticles
broken frames of pictures we'd take hearts that break so ill sit here and shake my head and say na not again liquor in hand as i nod off to bed
it's times like those that i never feel lonely til i wake up distressed with no one to console me i swear that i'm solely devoted to fortys where once was my heart theres a hole in my chest my love used to be whole and now its a fifth
There’s a journal in the cabinet Right beside my bed In it filled are pages Covered in pencil lead Scribbled are the things I’d never dare to say Thoughts that have no voice Dreams that have no place
images in picture frames shelves to hold them up wrinkled smiles gloss over eyes that shout for help silence nobody to the rescue no distant sight of shore hopeless
and I’m not sad anymore in fact I cant feel a thing not from anger not from kindness not when instruments sing emotionally muted my tender tenderized terrorized and then burnt up put out and then deep fried I’d become despondent then drifted out to sea no longer look for shore decided to just be
Here's the truth. I lied. When I said my car broke down My vehicle was fine However I very much was not. I apologize It was just easier To say it couldn't drive Rather than I had no drive. Much more relatable Everyones had to replace a part or two I wish fixing me were so simple
i am not faster than tomorrow one cannot outrun the calendar the stopwatch never ceases hands of time are always at work once i grasp this certainty i will move on
hope so or hope soon disappointment rounds the corner photos of long June again begin to surface missteps misspoken miss the lips that led lips the lied mystified wish that hope was dead
it’s been cloudy for so long the rain now brings me comfort hands reach out for shore though the water holds me under lungs still heart beats through the chest will there be a day when i can finally rest
I vow to never break from writing Though my writing may take breaks For when heart shatters Momentarily wrists do too Stayed away Left pages blank Spent the time just missing you
sometimes you catch a glimpse of it the way things used to be momentarily wondrous however fleeting odd what gives rise to such occasions if only one could hold it
tell myself that i should smile more but it seems i've tuned me out think that i have lost my mind a bit better times are rumors now a grin of course may cross my lips a momentary gift only seconds though of sweet relief still so far from fixed
“run on sentence!” keep going until you can no longer then take a few more steps worry not about the way you read or if the spelling’s right the world must know the words you weave “run on, run on, run on”
beautiful the different greys each it’s own flavor of melancholy delicious my mouth waters to know their blues hear their cries feel their pain to know we are the same
I didn’t do the dishes Then I didn’t brush my teeth Forgot to drain the tub Stale water sat for weeks I didnt take the trash out Bags across the floor Couldn’t bring myself to anything Couldnt take it anymore How ***** How disgusting How ugly can you get I’d rot out of existence Just to get out of this mess
What once was twenty times a day has dwindled to maybe twice a month
I wonder how I'm doing? We talk much less myself and I Its difficult to get the whole picture Perhaps distance shows progress Can't hold my hand forever I worry I should worry more Just hope it's going well
the stains will not come out. though i have started to like the way they've begun to fade into the fabric almost indistinguishable from cloth as if they were not stains at all
I've been having nightmares Dreams that shake me out of sleep Moonlit hours Now comprised of open eyes I lie and fight the bedsheets Later and later my eyes shut Until late becomes early Birds chatter as my head hits the pillow Still there is no divorce It seems as though Sunrise brings no solace
It's 3:00am again My head has not yet hit the pillow I am unable to sleep as of late Not quite sure why that is Though my eyes Plead to shut My mind zig-zags Across a thousand thoughts Most of which include you Most of which are make believe Day dreams That do not end when the sun sets
My words are not beautiful Nor are they unique Swear they've all been said before Confessions of the meek Forever dreamed of wearing mask and cape Presently it's hard to sleep Close my eyes so I can lie awake Thinking of promises I didn't keep.
swiftly do the thoughts creep steady is their pace march along to hit chords wrong unruly and disgraced vile creatures tip toe purpose all aligned danger for my cuticles poison for my mind