It could have been so wonderful
To me, it was like a dream
I walked into this with no fear
Oh I was such a fool

We could have been so happy
I wish I never asked what we are
It was easier to not be looking far
But you wanted to set me free

I could have been alive
I am not free, I have one foot out the door
I can't accept my life anymore
Can't fool myself, you were heartbreak from the moment you entered my sight

Nothing on my wrist
No wristbands that you made
But my love for you is still the same
Didn't slice my wrists then
Despite of how much I want them
No wristband from my dad
Even though how much I wish we had

I wish I had done it
When emotions were on the high
When I had more reasons why

I wish I could commit
But sadly I backed down
Hard to go back now

I wish I wasn't scared
But I let the timer run out
When I had too much doubt

I wish I had killed myself
But now I'm too stable to do it
Yet I don't think I want to live

I don't want to **** myself today
I don't know if I want to be happy
I feel nothing but tired
I feel at least something when I suffer

I dragged all of you with me
Welcome to my sick ride
You will feel guilty
When I will die

I'm sorry
There was a time for okay
This is the time for okay
I will **** myself and that's okay
You will move on and that's okay
You will all thrive and that's okay
You will all move on and that's okay
You will be okay
I'm sorry

"How are you?"
Oh how I dread this question
I will reply: I'm still alive, you?
I will reply: I'm still breathing
But in reality
I'm barely with my eyes seeing