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 Apr 2020 Perry
Despair
NIGHT
 Apr 2020 Perry
Despair
I’m Sorry

You are my most regrettable sin,
Forever with you, I shall sit alone…
In a field full of fractured seeds, waiting to be sown.
For you, I will grow a thicker skin.
Just so that with you, I can suffer through this grin.

My father took me to a circus.
It was one of those old fashioned ones. They’d used animals, still.
I’d seen that animal within its cage, its disposition all too similar to my own
It mattered not if I was onstage, or offstage.
There was not a moment where you or I did not ‘cheat out’.

Stage left.
Stage right.
Back Stage.
Onstage.

You and I were the clowns who ‘played’ everywhere.
For I, the jester was the only personality that I could encage
It didn’t matter in which way that they would stare
As long as my smile could be seen, it didn’t matter if it was more
than I could bear.

In my act of selfishness, It was you that I had made
Because I could no longer wear this jester’s mask alone.
And for this sin, I know that I shall never atone
I stole you away from your promenade…
Peeled you from a novel that was never mine.
Brought you into my life, where you were never meant to shine.

But I couldn’t bear it…
This biological function
The need to never be ‘alone’
If I had only known… god, if I had only known.
That my idea of strength was ‘sad’
And incomplete, like a forgotten draft upon a sketch pad.

Those childhood memories could never resonate within you, nor I.
We were xerox copies, printed within a black room
Duplicates, whose polaroid had bled, stained with obsidian dye.
I made you with the selfish request- to pick up the mask when I could no longer bear it
‘Please protect me’, I’d said. What a horrible sin that I commit.

For I should have known. Even ‘good’ memories are made at the expense of others.
The animals who put on their show, only to lay, as if dead within their cells.
The young actors and actresses, who will never again see their mothers.
To the ring leader, who wonders… Why does he deserve this hell?
Finally, that smiling jester… Whose world as long since lost all of its colors.
 Apr 2020 Perry
james nordlund
The great Ellis Marsalis, Jr., died of corona virus in NOLA,
one of a thousand that passed away this Avril Fool's, from it,
all of whom will be missed dearly, "...we(e),..."'ll ever bay.

In his day, near his death, (W.A.) Mozart said to his wife,
"I fear I am writing a requiem for myself", as he composed
'Requiem Mass in D minor- Lacrimosa', of unparalleled beauty.

With rheumatic fever hitting Europe at that time, and soon
after, yellow fever in Philly, here, epidemics and pandemics
became common, the worst, 1918 Spanish Flu, 1/2 a bill dead.

listening to comedy ring hollow, a necessary alternative to
the news that isn't new, my ear longs for his veracious music.
How can USA have the worst response to it among technocracies?

Our king-kong sized terrible-two, ****, playing his keystone
President act for 3 months has determined the repub conspiracy's,
global oligarchy's agenda's yoke tighten around the people's neck.

The stealing of social security from the elderly, infirm, through
Covid-19 exterminating them more than others, this couldn't get
done politcally by the repubs for 2 decades.  As well, the poor

to lower-middle-class, especially people of color, can't afford
to defend themselves usually, now it's worse. "Stimulus bills"?,  
over 1/2 a trill to bail out small, big businesses, pay big Pharma,

medical supplies corps, who're already making hand over fist from
the bidding war between States, federal agencies, dictating Bush,
**** klans who're heavily invested, ever increasing kafknching.

Coastal regions, big cities, mostly dems, are murdered more by
virtue of #, close proximity, needs, ****'s re-election plan.
This while he kept his criminal cuts to SNAP, still stealing food

from mouths of babes and handing it to billionaires.  Same as
it ever was, class war, repubs using jobs they don't do, to mass-
exterminate non-repubs instead.  like the serial murderers who

masquerade as cops, killers ..., as doctors, judges as justices.
The 'big fix' is in, if it ain't fixed don't break it, stop all
criminal insanity, if not you then who, here, where, now, when?

This leaf of poetree, although it just a twig be, may be my last.
If so, I'm honored to pass with such great artists, yet, hopefully
not from skyrocketing price of living.  Social distance, wear mask.
"The sleepers must awaken" (before they're extincted by climate change), movie Dune.  Thanx for all you All do.  Have a great eve'   ;)   reality
 Apr 2020 Perry
FullmoonFlower
We seek validation and love,
very often from only one person,
one person we haven’t even met yet,
so we keep looking,
keep feeding our loneliness.

When will we learn that love,
doesn’t have to be received
from only that one person?
 Apr 2020 Perry
Donna
Movie night indoors
Chocolate biscuits , sweet latte
Soft night moon and stars
Family Movie night indoors x x
Saving
Lives
Economy
And
The strife
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