Illusion & hope
Drifting in the midst of a vast, open sea
Hearing whispers from shores unseen
Sustaining reality with pints of memory
Illusions which echo dishonesty

Speaking aimlessly
Awash upon currents which pull me around
Waves caress and waves smash
The hope of the hungry

A journey which has taken years out of me
Months of maybes
The flavour of a foreign currency
Audible illusions designed to fool me

Surely, the shore grows close
Yet, upon this raft I see not
Only water for miles yet
Or, perhaps this too is an illusion
One my own mind has set

I cannot recall
Reasons for which I have not slept since early May
Without answers, beckoning at a visage of you
The purple beneath these tired and weary green eyes
The memories for which another multitude of seasons died
These things I know and remember
Once more, at the mirror in the hall
I desperately yell,
Do you recall?

It was harder than we thought
So now they call and text me at home
Left it in a park, left it in a lot
Walked around a while
The two of us talked
The burial ground of our winter spark
One which gleamed for near two years and a day

Today, we only feel the gap
Abstract and ethereal
The songs were written for you
So it became a fact,
Dark places, common spaces
The one buried in my head

Paint me the way you remember me
In dreams and reality
Contrast light and dark
Asking yourself,
Where you placed my heart

Grow me a garden of roses
Pick every petal the same way
Grow less interested every day
Ignore it, scorn it
Act surprised when it defiantly grows beyond its confines

Stare up at the sky
Emulating my voice in your head
Seek out the seed which you planted
Paint the true story in my head
Let the sun set slowly
Echo every act, again and again

Nothing fits the frame
Alone, it appears inconsistent
The garden queries and the painting runs
Unsure of where to go
Not but a thirsty man, drinking his memories
Undauntingly trying to fly

We learn so much
We learn it all too late
Value of dreams, love, life
In favour of money, left to wither
Our children grow, uninterested in the passage of time
One last game of catch, tea, band practice
Whilst we look at budget reports
Time closes in

Wide, innocent eyes
Become wise and concerned
Each year, feeling shorter and shorter
While the visits to the doctor become longer and longer
The kids start to visit less
We never earned their time
We never tried our best

It all went by so fast
We, I, could have been better
Present, caring
Awake to that which made them smile
Even after they left home,
Should have seen, should have known

There was love inside their hearts
But we grew up blind
And now it's twilight
And the sun is already gone
We learn so much
We learn it all too late

Y'know, we say a lot of ****
Day to day, person to person
It's surprisingly consistent
In fact, I'm rather impressed

There're the small lies
The "You look good in that dress!"
"They just left!"
"Tastes great!"
"I think the Leafs have a real chance this year!"

And the ones that matter
"I love you"
"You have nothing to worry about"
"I swear, I didn't do it!"
"I'm sorry, ***. I was out with the girls"
"I'm okay"

It's the people that can switch between the two at will,
They really impress me
For, as the web grows
So does the willingness to let go
And all those who love you
Will try and aid you
And then, they too will begin to spin the web
Because of course they know the truth
"I believe you"
"It doesn't upset me, promise"

And suddenly it's too late

You're left adrift, confused and full of hate
Wondering what you've done
Where you went wrong
Or perhaps you're unswayed
Fine and ready to start anew once again
Potentially not even realizing what you've done

When it's all over
The curtains down, the cast and crew separated
Turn off the lights and crawl into bed
Whisper to the walls
And set your alarm
Tomorrow comes void and early

Colloquial breathing under the waves
Floating down the river
Eyes firmly shut
Mind is full of dreams
Each moment stripping away the decay of this vessel
Marvelling toward times gone by
Further, the river

Twisting and turning
The heart heals
New and resolute
The eyes open
Stark and pulchritudinous