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ClawedBeauty101 Aug 2018
Stay up late on your computer, just to ignore whats in the background...

Blasting your speak or headphones to the highest volume found?

Eyes locked on whatever is attracting your mind to the screen

Consumed by your emotions and thoughts... the things unseen

Possibly in the dark, devouring food to satisfy the emptiness inside?

Deep in thought? Lost in people, dreams, and lies?

Oblivious to the time that slip through your fingers

Not to be disturbed by any forgotten chore that lingers

And sometimes... you may break out with a sigh...

That's slowly turns into a scream...and a mournful cry....
When your alone.. dont let your past or pain haunt you...the Lord is with you and always watching over you... he is there... he is listening...its easy to push away the pain l..but if not dealt with correctly and it can be a burden.. He can help you and will help you deal with it. He Loves you ♡♡♡ I know life is hard and dramatizing
  Jul 2018 ClawedBeauty101
Evelyn Ann
She asked, "Why I cried?"

I just looked up at her and smiled.

She asked, "Why I cried?" a second time.

Still looking up at her I continued to smile.

She sat down beside me as I fixed my eyes upon the blue sea.

"The clouds looks quite grey today." she said to me

Yes indeed it is,  I think it's going to rain today.

"Let's get going before it does." she said.

I hope it does.

"Why?"she asked.

So I can sit here and cry.

"Why"

It's better to cry in the rain.

No-one will know the difference from my tears to that of the rain.

"But why do you cry?"

The tears I cry are tears of joy, pain, sorrow, hate, love and fear.

Every tear drop is a part of me as I am apart of it.

With every drop of tear filter's me as I filter it.

I cry because tears are words the heart can't say.

I cry because my tears are words that my heart can't say.
ClawedBeauty101 Jul 2018
One little reminder is all I need from you
And you get me on my knees and tear my veins right through

You leave a ****** rub-burn on my neck as you try to hang me on
But I choke and strangle my scream of help as I try to run and be gone...


I'm being Haunted...  I'm gonna Flaunt it...
Because the cancer of lies are dragging me down

I'm being Haunted... This isn't what I Wanted...
Because I'm trying to move on but my past is nailing my hands to the ground...

I'm being.... Haunted

You see me grasping for revival...
Reminding I am only facing one true rival...

You lay my fears and weaknesses out like a deck of cards
You know this game too well... Laughing and pointing with a win as I shout, "THIS GAME IS TOO HARD!!!".


I'm being Haunted...  I'm gonna Flaunt it...
Because the cancer of lies are dragging me down

I'm being Haunted... This isn't what I Wanted...
Because I'm trying to move on but my past is nailing my hands to the ground...

I'm being.... Haunted

Physically... Stabbing...
Mentally... Spinning
Emotionally... Draining
Spiritually... Weakening

Physically Aching...
Mentally Strangling
Emotionally Drowning
Spiritually Fading

Physically... I'm so sick and tired!!!
Mentally... So burned out and unwired!!!
Emotionally... Frozen and Numb to the Bone
Spiritually... DEAD AND ALONE!!!


I'm being Haunted...  I'm gonna Flaunt it...
Because the cancer of lies are dragging me down

I'm being Haunted... This isn't what I Wanted...
Because I'm trying to move on but my past is nailing my hands to the ground...

I'm being Haunted... Lock it up in my Closet
Because I'm trying to escape the mind that as been born to do wrong

I'm being Haunted... I'm telling you I've Lost it!!!
Because I've been going back and forth between thoughts and emotions for far too long!!!

I'm being... Haunted...

I'm telling you... I'm being... Haunted....
... trying to make it into a song...

WHY CAN'T THE PAST STAY IN THE PAST AND LEAVE ME ALONE!?!?!

God help me...
ClawedBeauty101 Jun 2018
So turn around and do not peek

I'll flee and I'll go and hide some place cold, dark, and alone,

When the count down ends, it is your choice, but choose quickly before my patience turns to stone

Will you look and search no matter how long it takes to set my hiding  place free?

Indeed I Will Hide...But Who Will Go And Seek For Me?
Just a poem I thought about thanks for a few of my friends
ClawedBeauty101 Jun 2018
4 in the morning and the thrist for rest had not stopped its fight

I try to isolate my ears from these threatening voices at night

I suffocate my face with my hands and arms to make the place seem darker

My eyes wouldn't fall for it. It only made the sleep all the more harder

My nails clenching into my skull as I try to cope with this pain

Dear God of the heavens show mercy, my eyes are red and burning... and I'm going insane
......I can't sleep... nature had won... alright lord.. what do you want  from me?
ClawedBeauty101 Jun 2018
Within every heart, there is a chain hooked up to a wall of flesh, blood and stone.

Scars open and cut too deeply, we rather thirst and drink our own blood then eat the molded food that the guards of fire and destruction serve us.

We try so hard to escape this hell inside our minds. But it almost seems impossible and mindless.

Every day, we live in a living nightmare. We would rather die than live another second in this kingdom of depression and wrath.

There is only one law, and the law is the image of death is nothing but a dream.  

We can try our hardest to desire the blood spill and the gushing out of beaten bones and origins to spill out of our weak and limp bodies, but all we'll do is spawn back into this waste land

Tears stream down the faces of many innocent broken people; they feast on each other like beast of a large skeleton bump sight,

We're tortured until our back bone is visible, and our voices are empty and numb.

Our fingers lay in pieces of flesh on the cold mossy stone floor from making meals for these zombies like monsters.

The meals are the hearts and frightened minds of our fathers, mothers, brothers and sisters; we weep for them and wish for no comfort.

**I am the only prisoner in this Endless Fire Hell that has a window in their dang room. I can see a brighter, safer, more loving place just millions of miles away.

I often reach my hand out the window, to at least feel tiny drops of refreshing rain on my black burning skin.

I cry aloud, calling for some kind of help, but I know that calling and crying won't get me anywhere.

The rain drops are the only loving thing I have, for they heal my scar and fix my wounds, the only hopeful thing that my blurry eyes and beaten hands have ever seen and felt.

Under neither this dungeon in the sky, is a vast and cool ocean that I long to swim in the feeling of freedom and satisfaction.

Within every moment as I swim in the burning and melting lava pool, oh how the lava is stained by the blood and eyes of prisoners that have slowly melted away.

Their skin slowly ripping off their skull as they scream in a high and painful voice… Oh how I long to feel the rain. Oh how I long for it.

On one faithful day, there was a great down pour, and the rain drops starts to sing in harmony with serenity and joy, which caused the stones of bitterness that surround my window to give way and crumble and fall into the sea.

I smiled bright for the first time in 16 years. I took the chance and jumped, but then quickly grabbed hold of a left over stone, my arm stretched in pain.

How silly of me to just jump and not knowing if I’ll die and spawn back here or if the guards will see me in the ocean and band the rain from this Nether.

My Arm soon gave up its last strength as my ****** hand finally let the stone go. I could feel the rain, filling and soaking my entire body,

I crashed into the ocean, my eyes closed, and my mouth allowing the water of purity to drown me, my arms and leg motionless as I began to sink.

I would rather die in something I love, than live in something I hate...
Written on February 11, 2016, 10:37 am
**During the time I wrote this, I used the "d*mn" word... instead of dang"

Alright, this is not a poem, but more of a story... so apologies if I disappointed any of you guys with that.

I wrote this poem after an accident with my family, where I fell into deep anger and rebellion. I wrote this poem to let out the hopelessness I felt, to let out the madness I felt locked up in.  I was very distant from God, from my family, from my church. Rereading this revealed to me how much HATRED I had...  I am blessed and surprised how God or even the people I know could ever forgive me...

Another way to look at this poem is without Him, We do live in a mind state of Hell. We will go to Hell, unless we escape that Hell, which s through Jesus Christ, which I would think represents the Down Pour. And when she Died in something she Loved, there are so many people who Died PROUDLY for their faith... and I know they would die for something they love, then live in a world of Hate... and I know in a heart beat I would do it... the Prison of Hell would Represent us being trapped in this world of Sin or being trapped in sin in general and how monstrous it is.... So I guess that's another way to look at it
  Jun 2018 ClawedBeauty101
Harry Gione
My heart is a messy place
I don't clean up often
My emotions lay about like worn jeans and pile up at every corner
Murky tears that were long bemoaned
Lay inside my pillowcases long after they have dried
And make heavy a light thing where my thoughts reside
Shadowy folks have  unmade beds  
Though long beparted
And declared dead
Many things that was once fresh
Have now grown brown reached their Autumn
They still roam the halls and vents
Like after tastes of mint long after the in scents have burnt
Every possible surface is stained with faces
Shelves are stacked and layered and stuffed
And though I rummage for space
There is never enough
Not for an ant
Or a hand
Or a new thing
Just room enough for me
And this big old mess of memories
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