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ClawedBeauty101 Dec 2017
One of the most fragile creatures known on this earth...
It's wings lighter then a single feather of a bird, it's wings are it's prize and worth...

More then a design of beauty, but an artwork purposely fashioned
So delicately it dares to sore with it's enemies in the sky, although it's small and passionate...

It's weak flutter is what gives itself the power to rise.
Small and beautiful, just like most models, but too soon, it dies..

Isn't it filled with complete innocence? Absolutely Not!  
For it stole from the plant that offered it's self as it's home! This was the little Caterpillar's plot!

For the beginning of it's life, it was surround by the world that was large and gigantic!
It took what it's selfish flesh desired, although it wore a disguise that was anything but frantic.

It's small head always looking up for more, but not even the tastiest leaf nor string of grass could satisfy
It was soaked up by the dirt's promise for fulfillment and the  grounds believable lies

If it was wise, it would climb up the rough bark of a tree...
Though it may stumble more then it would on the ground, at the end, it'll soon see that it'll be set free...

The realization of the submission to the wind became it's dream
The acknowledgement of the heavens surrounded it's theme

Slowly locking it'self in a cocoon to suffocate and silencely ****** it's sinful past
It's change of mind and soul transformed itself into a floating mast

The mystery of this transformation no creation can define nor grasp
When it finally rips away it's old flesh, a new beginning has finally clasped

It eye's pop out, now fully unblinded from the distractions of the ground
It's body now weightless, free from it's burdens, it's sky like desires were found

A new creature, a new creation, has used its finished painting as wings to reveal its duty
What it is weak in size and strength, it makes up for in character and beauty

What use to be selfish and rude is now compassionate to nature with every flutter
The stars of the ground of flaring colors share it's sweet drink with it's new friend,  this change of hearts causes it's enemies to shutter

The priceless beauty it contains is more then just an mask, but also
an act for it's enemies!
Willing to sacrifice it's self for it's kind, some will surrender their poison filled bodies, killed helplessly

Determined to distract, Skillfully willing to scare, these little ones will do anything.
Protecting countless eggs, so they too may learn about the freedom through the flap of a wing

Their portrait of many colors signify the mercy of a Flame we deserve
Beautifully created, and light in flight, our eyes able to examine such a jewel is grace that we need to preserve*

There is a flame... do you dare want to experience it?
Do not take the sight of a butterfly so lightly... There is so much more behind that beautiful creation then meets the eye... The creator that created something so heart changing and lovely and delicate but yet daring has also created a place for those who rebel against him... We don't deserve to lay our eyes on his creation... We have broken his commandments we have broken his law we deserve hell

but yet...he is still merciful... to even see the beauty of a butterfly wing...
ClawedBeauty101 Dec 2017
Some of the many things people say...

"You're a Winner!"

No... I'm Not...

"You're Beautiful!"

No... I'm Not...

"You're Strong!"

No... I'm Not...

"You're Good!"

No... I'm Not...

"You're Worthy!"

No I am Not!!!

Because Out Side Of Christ I am  NONE Of These Things

"You're Failure!"

No I'm Not...

"You're Ugly"

Not I'm Not...

You're Weak!

No I'm Not...

You're Bad!

No I'm Not...

You're Unworthy

No I'm Not!!!

Because Now That I Am In Christ, I am NONE Of Those Things
Outside of Christ I am nothing, Inside of Christ, He is Everything
Colossians 1:17 - 18
"He is before all things. and in Him, all things hold together and He is the head of the body, the church; He is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy."
ClawedBeauty101 Nov 2017
October, 27, 2017 (Friday)*

Flying down the open empty road, unaware of the surprise attack waiting for us ahead as we continued to drive.

My eyes set on the left side of the road, low like the cold temperature of the wind who's warmth couldn't be revived

A light breath of snowflakes swept over the road like floating silk as my eyes were stolen for a moment by a small feathered creature

Closed up like a rabbit in it's hollow, frozen like fish trapped in a sheet of ice, trembling like death was its new teacher

It was only a blink of a moment I saw it, and a gap of years seemed to rotate around this trap of love

"Mom.. I think that was an owl..." I said with my voice almost in a whispering disbelief. My hand giving her arm a wheel turning shove

"What should we do?" She said as if I was the higher authority. I turned my head to look back, in the opposite direction of the car.

"Turn around..." My mind got into a conflict with those words... I'd be late for work... That didn't worry me, even though we weren't that far...

I didn't know how much longer the animal of sky and flight could handle the harshness of Octobers cold shoulder.

I felt her foot slowly increase it's pressure onto the brakes, her small stormy Toyota turning around, being forced to submit to her.

Approaching slowly, the road was surprisingly empty and alone.  My pupils motionless as they starred

For a minute I believed the lies that I was being an idiot. My mind was tricked into thinking it was a small thick branch with many lairs.

But the truth screamed louder than the wind's howl as shards of ice and snow caused it's feathers to **** outward

To shield his small fragile body. My mind went blank, amazed to be able to steal this opportunity, the car slowly moved downward

Into a gravel driveway, that rested next to a stand. I removed my pink hoodie and inserted myself into the dangers of being alone

Begging and praying in my head to my Lord for guidance, I crossed the wide road, my soul knowing who was in control

  I crept behind the railing and as quickly and quietly as possible I approached it.

Numbed to my existence. It's head in a stage of black and deathly hibernation, I could see it's dying spirit

Lightly, I tossed the bright magenta hoodie over it like a net. A little hop was it's only reaction

I swung my legs over the railing and carefully surrounded it with my hoodie and hands, longing to show it passion.

But it's little strong black claws  fearfully grasped onto the cracks in the road. Like a hook trapped within the jaws of a fish.

I could feel nothing... Only the loud threatening heart beats within me, giving my bangs a swish.

With the steady guidance of patience, my shaking fingers removed his terrifying grip, and quickly swaddled him.

I carried him like a newborn infant as I cautiously recrossed the road, feeling my soul has met natures grim.

We both inserted ourselves into the heat blasting automobile, my mother gasped when she saw the little feathered screech owl cradled in my arms

Still trapped by hibernation's drug. I held him close to the heated vents,  hoping that life will be surrendered to the side of the warm.

His feathers were in several shades of tree bark brown, he had two little feathered peaks that looked like horns to a crown

Softer then even the silkiest chinchilla,  his eyes were closed, but within minutes, only the eye lashes of his right eye flickered around

Suddenly, time revolved around the neck of him, for he turned his head right towards me, and his right eye of sun bursting glow revealed its self to me.

My blood stopped pumping, my lungs shut down, my heart trapped in ice, my eyes making contact with his, feeling like a ship lost at sea.

One of Nature's King of the sky finally awakened, but what was his next move? For these little beast were proud and protective over their bodies

Where their wings have soared over, they claim as theirs, They have used their beaks and claws as weapons against my kind. They have been given the label of being naughty.  

Was I it's next victim? Was this choice a blood dripping trap? Was adoring my Lord's creation a mistake?

The Lord brought this little one in my path for a reason, how can I doubt His plan? For this moment, He wanted me to take.

It's round smooth moving head looked to the left, and then to the right, and then back at me, it's little eye blinking, and very tired

It jumped! But jumped closer into me. It's white and light brown feathered chest against mine. It's head cuddled right into my fingers like a tangled wire.

Softly and lightly I petted it's super soft silky small head, seeing his one eye going into a happy squint.

It only cuddled more and more, demanding more of this sweet affection. His eye gave me that hint

Soon, he started to wander around on my legs, exploring all of this high technology unknown to nature

Flew about a few times to test and experience the ways of human beings, his wings stretched out and soared like sliding glaciers

Once we approached our destination of a recuse center, his curiosity grew as he bonked his head against the dashboard window. The poor thing!

He looked at me, feeling shameful, and filled with stupidity as he flew to my lower arm, and then my elbow that was up high. He nested into it like a king.

He remained there and studied me, his eye never looking away. My soul was at peace until it lashed open it's left eye. My sight got drilled

It was only for an image of a second that I saw that bright red, dark purple, and indigo eye. His left eye was blood filled.

He quickly closed it and snuggled closer to my chest. I felt a hollow part of me being revealed and filled with grace

It's funny how the Lord planned everything out, how he allowed me to experience this sweet heart capturing moment of this wild owl's gentle face.

My Hallow, the name suits you well. For it was an honor for our Holy creator to allow me to interact with the forest beast of flight

A hollow part of me was realized and filled. A desire, a new way to make my Creator made known... through your opposite personality of fight

Permanently blind in your right eye, but your spirit is still sweet and calm to only me. Yours wings still spread like the wide flames of a wild fire

Your unique different colored eyes beaming with adorable sweet love. But also determination that is deep and dire.

You're small, but even our God used David to defeat Goliath. You're an animal, but God used a Donkey to lead Balaam away from danger!

You may not be normal again, but the Lord can still use you, for He has used you and many other animals in my life, although I was a stranger

Hallow, the Blood Filled Eye Screech Owl, I won't allow this lesson to be stolen from me, the lesson of freedom, wisdom, and trust.

The Lord will call us to do the craziest, weirdest, most unbelievable things at times. We shouldn't let these test turn to dust

and if the Lord called me to do something like this again...

*I'd do it in a heart beat...
Thank you Sarah Walker for teaching me about birds
Thanks Colin for Teaching me about death hibernation
Thank You Schafers for allowing me to come a day early to work because if that didn't happen, I wouldn't have seen him
Thank you Mom for helping me with Hallow
Thank you L's, for I wouldn't have seen him If I didn't so happen to look at your house XD
Thank You to the Rescue Center that is helping me take care of him.

If it wasn't for any of these people, I don't know what would have happen.
So... Thank You :)
ClawedBeauty101 Nov 2017
Dear Father, You have given me so much, You have blessed me beyond words

With the brothers and sisters in Christ You have provided for me, their words are songs on a record

You knew I needed them, and You brought them in your holy perfect timing

But I won't lie, my hands cover my face to hide my tears, I am ashamed to admit I'm dying

Is it so wrong Lord? That I weep over them? That this is my last year?

Will I be a forgetten memory? Will I even see them again?.. There are countless fears...

What connections will be cut?  Will this bring me closer or more apart with them?

Do I dare let go of the place you have called me to go? The place where my faith has increased? They are more precious than gems.

I beg You Lord, I know it's almost half way over, but I know it isn't fully over yet...

But my God, I surrender my fears and these emotions, these people I never want to forget

I treasure them Lord, more then they'll ever know! You know how long I have suffered to FINALLY find true close friends who burn for You!

Please I beg You Abba, don't make this come an end... Allow me to still share some moments with the ones I hold close, you know my desired view

I do not know what the future holds... Only You do... I am lost and in wonder what will happen a year from now, or two, or three, or four, or five.

But... You do, I have no control, I'd be a fool to try to take the wheel... I pray these relationships were meant to last, You used them to keep me alive!

...even if it is the end... I pray Lord You bless them, give them a great long, blessed life... even if it means I must suffer and end up alone...

Protect them, even if it means for me to remove my shield, if it's better Lord for me to remove my self from them for their benefit, I'll gladly accept being disowned

Do Whatever Is Best For Them
Do Whatever Is Best For Me.

Even if it isn't what I desire and long for... Even if it tears me apart the inside out,  at least they'll be set free

Lord, I love them with all my might, You know I'd give up anything and do anything for these brothers and sisters in Christ

But Lord, You hold the past, present, and future in your palm, You know what will happen, and I know with You, I don't dare to fight

You have led me to find them, I'd be heart broken to loose them, I give this prayer to you my King, my Shepard, my Father

I don't want to be pulled away from  them, please , continue to use me to help their faith become stronger

Dear Savoir, I thank You for the wonderful blessed times I have had with them

It's only through Your mercy and grace I was able to be apart of this beloved churches hem

So God, Allow Me To Thank You Lord Before It's Over...

*Because  I don't know what the end may bring...
Thank you everyone at the beloved church I call home. For making me aware of my flaws and getting me through the toughest battles. For strengthening my faith and trust in the Lord, and helping me up whenever I fell into sin... You Brothers and Sisters in Christ are an answer to prayer. I won't stop praying for you. I KNOW the Lord will use you guys to help and guide others. Every day I praise him, for I KNOW i could have never asked for greater God seeking friends

Thank You So Much, you know who you are :)

~ Cat ///
ClawedBeauty101 Nov 2017
There he is, my little baby boy, his fluffy ginger fur spiked out in all directions.

His eyes, like coco powder surrounding a drop of pure vanilla. They are so big and heart catching I have to mention.

His spiraled tail laid over his back and spread out like a fire work. Curly and a sandy color, it stands out against his Gingerbread coat.

His tiny, dainty, quick moving paws always in a scurry as he races to his little window, barking in a  high pitch squeal, his spirit always in a float.

His fur flows in a fluffy rustle when he stands outside to strut his pride, his little mocha mountain peaks alert and doesn't miss a single action.

He walks like the world revolves around him, he runs for nothing but his own fancy desires, He flaunts his cute looks, with the sway of his tail and barks at other dogs just to get a good reaction.

His white furred lips speak of whimpers and pleads to me whenever I'm down,  He lays over my arms when I type, sick of not being the center of attention.

He allows his two back legs to fly behind him when he kicks in demand. He bangs his two front paws to the ground when he's frustration for not getting his way. There's too much tension.

I can't help but to laugh at the pathetic adorable soul! Thinking he can live his spoiled "perfect" worry-free life forever.

But even the greatest break, people wear a mask, and so do dogs! He pretends he doesn't need any body. He think's he's so clever!

Behind that perfectly circular face of fluff and eye seeking attention, is a heart of fear... There is no drop of bravery within him...

As his mother, as his human, as his owner I feel his fear, for we both fear the same thing... The higher authority, our changes to them are dim...

When he is around them, his tail hangs low to hide it's spark, his shiny wondering eyes look down in shame of his small size and courage.

His mountain peeks collide in an avalanche. They lay back and hide their mighty heights. His hopefulness for joy could not flourish...

His eyes water up like a river from a down pour... have you ever seen tears pour from a dogs eyes at a constant rate? I have...

His pride as an Alpha was only an act, his true identity is all omega, his mind and heart have been split into halves...

He's high pitch but low noted howl does not ring when he is in the state of depression as omega. He instead taps his two little light paws against my chair as I sit...

I look down and sadly sometimes I ignore him. My mind already in a struggle. But the little one is wise as well. He'll kick his back legs and howl to catch my attention and throw a fit!

He knows I need his little fluffy sweet comfort, and he needs my warm embrace and my soft lap.

The only time he always look so content and happy is when I hold the little dear and he purposely falls backwards so I may hold him like a baby, an opportunity I have to grab

He has a big smile on his soft furry face, his eyes pleasantly closing, his body pliable and limb.

You would think he was fake by the peaceful contentment on his face, his little black paws up in the air, so many adore him

Only because of his physical appearance, not because of the longing to change sweet hearted Pomeranian from within

When I set him down, the peace instantly breaks, his happiness is shattered, his nose sniffing up at me in disbelief, he needs thicker skin.

Munchkin... you had two owners before us, the first one threw you out of the car in front of a pet store...

The other locked you up in your cage for too many helpless countless hours... you remember this for sure.

The Lord is merciful... for we have came to the rescue, your soul is now being built back up... we promise we won't abandon you. I won't abandon you...

If only you knew how the Lord has used you in my life... The blessing you have been. This owner ship refuses to move.

You are my sweet Pomeranian Munchkin... and I am your owner
Have No Fear Little Fluff.. Have No Fear  

*I love you <3
Thank you Lord for using Munchkin to teach me to control my anger, to train me for the future, for being such a loving comfort, for the bond me and my little boy share, and for using him to open my eyes more to your mercy's and abundant grace.  I know I don't deserve anything  at all. Praise You Lord.
ClawedBeauty101 Nov 2017
Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because I can't seem to relive it again

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because I felt like I just woke up. Give me a hand to lend.

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because I have never felt every cell in my body shake like it would burst from existence

Was Yesterday A Dream?*

Because I can still hear My Lord's voice talking to me in the distance

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because I kept on looking up to Heaven and asked "Why?"

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because for a split second, I believed I could fly

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because my eyes could not look away, they were out of my control

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because I felt my Heart and Life began to unfold

Was Yesterday a Dream?

Because a Trio of disbelief slammed me into a pool of reality.

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because Number 1 returned home in the land of fantasy

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because Number 2 settled the questions of emotions in the mind

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because Number 3 surrendered everything to the Lord with all his life

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because I feel like my body was just released from a shot wave of sleep.

WAS YESTERDAY A DREAM!?!?

Because what I experienced, what I saw, what I heard, I still can't believe

Was Yesterday A Dream?

No... No it was not, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday was not a dream...

Only Unrealistic mind blowing events that I least expected to happen it seems...

Was Yesterday A Dream?

No.. Gosh... I need a recovery of sleep... My mind is runned down,, My Heart is in an ache, and My Soul is in a stir

Good Night Everyone...
Dear Lord.... Grant me wisdom for the Trio of events, for these three things I did not expect to occur...

November 14 - 16, 2017.
ClawedBeauty101 Nov 2017
Please Stop, put on brakes
I don't know how to answer...

Please Stop, pause the moment
Life won't go on forever...

PLEASE STOP! Let me take it in...
Spare me your time...

Please Stop, I need a minute to breathe
Be patient. This Era is harder to climb

Please Stop...


Please Go... Your wearing me out
My heart can't take this pace

Please Go... Your burning me up
These ashes are leaving a trace

PLEASE GO! Your making holes!
In my heart! You are so cruel!

Please Go... It's hurting me so
My body has become a blood pool

Please Go...


Please Come! My eyes long to see thee
I don't desire to live alone

Please Come! I don't know who you are
I'm not suppose to bare these burdens on my own

PLEASE COME! Join me in this world
To do the work of Christ, and reach out to those who are lost

Please Come! I don't care where we go!
I wanna serve the Lord with you no matter the cost

Please Come...


Please Stay! My last breath is in your hand!
My final second can come with your words

Please Stay! You have forgiven my Betrayal
An Eternal future? This indeed I've heard

PLEASE STAY!!! My time on Earth is for serving You!
I'll cut off every limb! And break every decree!

Please Stay! For if there was no you...
There is no tomorrow, nor any hope of being set free!

Please Stay...


Who are these Letters To? Read Below and You will soon know.

Distractions... Please Stop!
Sins... Please Go!
Beloved Husband... Please Come!
Lord... Please Stay!

*This is my prayer... and I will allow them to take their place...
Please Stop...
Please Go...
Please Come...
Please Stay...

I beg you...
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