Looking for reasons to not dread,
Got these demons in my head,
Can’t seem to get outta bed,
I may be alive but I feel so dead,
Guess I’m starving to be fed.
Wondering if could make amends.
With the man,
In the ******* mirror.

Just give up, just give up!
We both know you’re not enough!
Not enough!
No one will ever love you, ever love you!
Did you really think you could escape?
You can’t escape!
We both know that your a fake!
Just a hypocrite that hangs out with snakes!
Nothing more than a fat ****, you need to get in shape!
Maybe trying to live, was a mistake.
After all you’re a disgrace!
That’s why daddy went away!
****, why won’t this negative self-talk go away?
Can anyone else listening to this song relate?

This monster lingers deep inside,
Got nowhere I can hide,
Some days I can’t lie, I want to die.
For this monster lingers deep inside,
Got nowhere I can hide,
But because I’m a man I’m not allowed to cry.
And than people wonder why,
So many of us men commit suicide!
Yeah. I got this monster lingering deep inside!
Got nowhere I can hide,
I smile and say I’m okay,
But that’s a lie!
Wanting to reach out for help,
But than I’m stopped by pride.
****.

Looking for reasons to not dread,
Got these demons in my head,
Can’t seem to get outta bed,
I may be alive but I feel so dead,
Guess I’m starving to be fed.
Wondering if could make amends.
With the man,
In the ******* mirror.

Don’t give up, don’t give up!
You are worthy, you are loved!
You are loved.
You may not think it now,
But just know that you are enough!
We all make mistakes,
Don’t beat yourself up.
Don’t listen to lies that tell you,
That your not enough!
You are beautiful inside and out,
Don’t give in to your doubt.
Find a safe space to scream and shout!
Do some self-care, trust me it will help.
And when the monster tries to harm,
You’ll have the tools to persevere through the storm!

Pray the lord,
My soul to keep,
Heal me lord for I feel weak.
Help me rest for I cannot sleep.
And if I die before I wake,
Pray the lord my soul to take.
For I’m broken, weary, and I ache.
My wounds run deep, I need your grace.
For I can no longer bear all this weight.
Pray the lord,
My sins erased.
Lord whatever it takes,
To break free from these chains!
And make amends,
With the man!
In the ******* mirror!

Unstructured fealty,
A tip toed fantasy,
Of uncultured humanity.
This is reality,
Where sugar plum fairies,
Only exist in dreams.
So, adrift it seems.
In myths and schemes.
In the midst of things.
That we truly believe,
Will make us happy.
But even with everything,
Why does the glass remain half empty?
Is life truly a tragedy?
A perfect ballet,
Where love is promised,
But death is the only thing that cometh.

You can perfect a plie,
But bend to addictions.
You can perfect a saute,
But jump to conclusions.
Indeed, life is a perfect ballet,
Where love is promised,
But death is the only thing that cometh.

Uncertain with deities.
After all, I might be an evolved manatee.
Or I might just be an anomaly.
Perhaps this is insanity.
Trapped in bodies,
Shamed depending on anatomy.
That’s determined randomly.
Not sure of what is or isn’t reality.
Spinning in circles,
Without stability.
Spinning in circles,
Bearing the weight of gravity.
A little dance I call depression and anxiety.
Taking substances to escape reality.
Going to a tip toed fantasy.
Filled with sugar plum fairies.
Just like in my dreams.
But dreams are brief,
Just like the substances.
Going back down a spiral of grief,
And a sense of emptiness.
Wondering where to find true happiness,
To be loved.
Man maybe life is a tragedy,
A perfect ballet,
Where love is promised,
But death is the only thing that cometh.

You can perfect a plie,
But bend to addictions.
You can perfect a saute,
But jump to conclusions.
Indeed, life is a perfect ballet,
Where love is promised,
But death is the only thing that cometh.

Trying to keep these emotions in check,
Instead of going for enemies necks,
Like a hyena on the defence,
I’m Stuck in a trance.
Trying to protect,
A heart so pure,
Yet also so insecure.

Why do I let it get to me?
Got me all chemically imbalanced,
Looking more of an *** than a donkey.
But, I’m ******* if I speak out or remain silent.
Trying not to step on glass,
Getting told I should be careful where I’m stepping.
For if I step on that glass,
I’m treated as defiant.
With my words becoming,
Nothing more than pseudoscience!
Perhaps I care too much?
After all society tells me to toughen up.
So, I build up these barriers.
But it’s never enough.
For my hearts still fragile.
Got me feeling like a bad child.
Fighting back against demons like I’m Madchild.
Got me wondering if trauma,
Truly can be reconciled?

For now though I’m just...
Trying to keep these emotions in check,
Instead of going for enemies necks,
Like a hyena on the defence,
I’m Stuck in a trance.
Trying to protect,
A heart so pure,
Yet also so insecure.

The voices don’t turn off,
When I go to sleep,
Got me hearing them,
Every day of the week.

The voices don’t turn off,
When I go to sleep,
Got me hearing them,
Every day of the week

I personify my trauma,
Cuts on the wrist,
For a wish,
Just a wish,
That I didn’t look like this.
Cuts on the wrist,
For a wish,
Just a wish,
That I no longer felt like this!
Some say I need to stop the drama.
Treating my pain,
Like mathematics,
******* divisible.
Becoming invisible,
With my struggles treated as inhospitable.
Why do I gotta be treated as a criminal?
I’m just trying to speak out,
But yet you think I’m in it for attention.
Shoving pills down my throat,
Thinking that’ll cure the infection!
It’s no wonder that...

The voices don’t turn off,
When I go to sleep,
Got me hearing them,
Every day of the week.

The voices don’t turn off,
When I go to sleep,
Got me hearing them,
Every day of the week

Stuck in a toxic belief pattern,
With cuts on the wrist,
Cuts on the wrist,
Just for a wish,
Just for a wish,
That I didn’t look like this.
Got cuts on the wrist,
Just for a wish,
Just for a wish,
That I no longer felt like this!
Yet people say I chose this!
You think I’d choose this?
You think I’d choose to be beaten?
To be picked on?
You think I’d choose to have,
My father abandon me and my mother?
You think I choose to be abused?
To have teachers saying I’m worthless.
You think I’d choose this!
If you do you’re ******* stupid!
It’s no wonder that...

The voices don’t turn off,
When I go to sleep,
Got me hearing them,
Every day of the week.

The voices don’t turn off,
When I go to sleep,
Got me hearing them,
Every day of the week

The beggars bend the knee,
To foolish dignity,
God will save the king.
But who will save the weak?
Who will save the weak!

Chains clatter along,
Jesters distract them all,
The mindless trot to song,
That is like a sweet wine; filled with lies.
Justice crucified.

Blood runs like a stream.
Cleansing everything.
Of supposed toxicity.
Got to look beyond the schemes.
Where the devil lurks beneath.

The beggars bend the knee,
To foolish dignity,
God will save the king.
But who will save the weak?
Who will save the weak!

Hunger pains the wolves.
Scrounging animals.
A desire unfulfilled.
No matter how much one kills.
Bodies are hollow shells.

The smell of rotting flesh.
That has befallen all,
Trapped within a hex,
That is comforting as is draining.
At the same time.

The beggars bend the knee,
To foolish dignity,
God will save the king.
But who will save the weak?
Who will save weak!

One of the greatest evils is big pharmacy,
Tons of minorities locked in jails for selling ****,
Sometimes getting life while rapists only get 2-4yrs...
****, that’s even too young for R Kelly.
Perhaps it’s just a pisstake?
Oh, **** I meant mistake.
Are we selling drugs to lawmakers?
Because I swear their brains are half-baked!
In a court of law,
Where one stands before God.
Yet man makes the judgement.
In a court of law,
Where one stands before God,
The same God your ancestors claimed they came with.
That left some in enslavement.
That left some in encampments.
That left behind a genocide,
That was justified as refinement.
A refinement that,
Took the land of others and made a profit.
A unearned profit that came from the blood and sweat,
Of those oppressed.
Yet many have the audacity to say get over it.
I wonder who truly has it easy?
I wonder who really gets the hand outs?
It’s definitely not the homeless.
Or the impoverished.

In God we trust,
Yet one’s nation is consumed by lust,
Treating money and *** as greater,
Than the God you claim you trust in?
In God we trust,
Whose God is that?
Mine or yours?

Perhaps the greatest evil truly is people?
For our human nature,
Keeps us from ever being truly equal.
With the change process becoming slower than a snail,
Have we truly hit the final nail?
In that coffin?
Still trying to spray perfume on what is rotten.
Is this all for not?
Stuck, and so caught up,
In a web of our own making?
Leaving a toxic cycle to keep on spinning,
All because of our pride,
Unable to control so we divide,
And than we conquer,
Watching as we **** each other,
Over wealth, land, religious beliefs and colour.

Silenced, prisoners of democracy.
The violence, that breeds disparity.
Words that poison all of humanity.
Hopeless, in the face of adversity.
Wondering what would it be like?
To be different.
Wondering what would it be like?
For humans to not be ignorant.
Trapped, wrapped in red tape.
Chained, handcuffed by snakes.
Identity forgotten with languages replaced.
Wondering what would it be like?
To work together instead of fight?
Wondering what would it be like?
If instead of focusing on the dark,
We’d focus towards the light?
To reach out for hope that is in our sights.
Breaking away from chains that took our might.
Tearing off the hateful words,
That has made us feel like *****.
Wondering what would it look like?
Once wrongs were made right.
Wondering what would it feel like?
To be accepted for what I look like.