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I
cannot help
the hands
that touch me
when they
could heal me
I know
its a distant
language
written
on my soul
I wasn't
made
to
understand
but she reads me
and I feel
her
more than
     Anything.....
                               My greatest wish
                               I couldn't say
                              is by her
                              spoken
                        ­        my greatest hope
                              is only
                              that I could
                             hold her
                            forever
                               that we'll make love
                              while we're
                             still
                             young
T
T,
I want you to know.
and I don't want to be mean
but,
I want you to know.
I don't want you anymore.
Time after time I tried.
And thats the thing
I was the only one trying.
I tried to carry the relationship,
but you knew what else was happening at home.
T,
I don't think its right
the way you've been treating me.
You don't even look at me,
as if I did something wrong.
T,
I did love you
I loved you.
But notice the "ed"
Every part of me has let go.
You are not a bad person,
but the fact is
why, if you don't like me
are you following me?
Trying to see
what I'm doing.
Every day.
You act like nothing ever happened.
But sorry to tell you dear,
something happened
What did you think I was?
I could tell you what I think...
but this isn't about me,
its for you, T.
Please, just stop.
Everything.
Seriously T.
I don't want you anymore.
This is my goodbye,
*goodbye
She's texting me from
old L.A.
Heading north on the El Camino Real
driving fast on 101

I'm heading west
from Paradise, Nevada
No work here
It's all shut down

Driving through
Susanville
Hat Creek
Shingletown
Redding
Across the burning Trinity Alps
the river sure is beautiful
My heart is soaring,
just missed that landslide
late last night

Meeting my life in Humboldt County

She, from the South
Me, from the East
We cross that
Redwood Curtain
Right into the heart of the Emerald Triangle

Meeting my true love in Humboldt County

They say the streets
are lined with
green gold

The family "grows,"
up in the hills
where everyone is welcome
to trim scene solutions,
the emerald gardens
with trees six feet high
Glistening buds as big as your fist,
Everyone is smiling
Everyone is high
sure I may reek
of that Marijuana resin
but two hundred dollars a day
flirting all the way
all I can eat
all I can ****
sounds a lot like heaven to me.

I'll be getting that 215
growing plants
as far as the eye can see
Another millennium
with back problems, insomnia and anxiety.
My fortune is just waiting for me.

Meeting my sweet love in Humboldt County

Like an old Woody Guthrie tune
you ain't gonna find nothing
without that dough re me

There ain't no doubt
that ****, so pure
will get you so high
you'll be wishing your still alive
No matter how high you get
There will still be reality.

Gotta get out of this indoor grow
Black mold growing up the walls
The floors are buckling
The ceiling too
The electrical is sparking
Another landlord on the hook
What's a boy to do?

The methamphetamine
The ****** machine
Trying not to blow my face off
with a butane tank
making that concentrated cannabis

Cold and wet
sleeping bag soaked on the beach,
A tent in the Devil's Playground
the  homeless encampment
behind the Bayshore Mall
that's what I met
and don't leave your ****,
It'll be gone in a quick minute.

The gardens are beautiful
good chance I'll never see 'em
The man with the ball cap
The big *** truck
holding a shot gun
"Better move on, son,
No trespassing here. "

I'm just
another dread locked kid
on the Arcata Plaza
with a dog I can't take care of

Down in Eureka
on concrete Broadway
Fourth Street
Fifth Street
Old Town
Where the fights break out
The cops they have no patience
Another Drunk in Public
drunk tank
Back on those same streets
at one a.m.

Get too crazy
5150 for an overnight stay,
second floor in County Mental Health,
walls closing in,
Psychiatrist says
"We ain't got nothing for ya,
good luck out there. "

Meeting my sweet love in Humboldt County

Once here
there is no way out
Panhandlers
Hitchhikers
on every corner
No one's giving out
No one's picking up

I'm gonna need my family
to send that Moneygram
Get me on a Greyhound Bus
haven't heard a word from them yet.

Even the police say
No one's gonna accept me,
So they ain't gonna pay.

I've been
Trying to leave a message
for my sweet love,
haven't seen her for a month,
She headed up to Trinidad
with a would be spiritual monk

The Redwoods spiral to the skies
The ranchers own the green
pastured hills
The beaches are vast and empty
The ocean is wilderness wild
waiting for the tsunami
turn your back on the ocean
you may fall in
many have fallen
few survive
on the most exquisite
blue sky day
you've ever seen.

Meeting my true love in Humboldt County.
Inspired by Bruce Springsteen's Atlantic City.
For r who told me to write this a couple of years ago. I should add that Humboldt County is considered the Marijuana capital of the U.S., lures many young kids thinking their going to find riches and nirvana.
Cry my child, for one does not bury a child without burying a part of one's soul with it.
Cry, for one cannot comprehend the ways of God.
It is for us to wash away our painful confusion  with tears and then to carry on.
.
.
For yesterday is not today and today is not tomorrow
An impossible silhouette
A candle's flame
A shadow without edges
The space between stars
                  The sky, the rain
                       The ocean between
                           Where I end
     w                           *And you begin

i                           t                           An imagination
          h                        y            ­      A dream
                    o                                 ­ A ghost finding peace
u                                                     ­ A star being born
                                 The wind, the wing
   f
                           The currents between       o
                       Where you are                           r
                   And where I'll be                              e
                              ­                                                     v
                                                               ­                       e
                                        ­                                                 r
She said there are no men
There are no women
Only people
The rose lips were petals that
Moved in the sun bleached wind

No I said
There must be a separation

Yes , your separation I can see now
Is complete

So I see the after Christmas trees
Lying in the alleys
In January

She said there are no men
There are no women
Only trees pretending
To be people
Shedding ***** needles
In the alleys
Lying face down
Cold and covered in frost

Their separation
Now complete
No longer men
No longer women
They've become
Forgotten people
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